Love Advice, Please...

  • byronicheros

    Posts: 211

    Mar 06, 2011 7:27 PM GMT
    So, I've been recently seeing this guy...Here's the back facts:

    (1) We originally hooked up on a GPS "Grindr" type app
    (2) We had such great chemistry in bed, that I told him I'd like to see him again, he said "yes"
    (3) The next time I got to see him was two weeks later (Valentine's Day Weekend); we went bar hopping, he stood by my side the whole during a straight bar in which he clearly didn't like, but pretended to have fun on my behalf for my straight friends...we then held hands the rest of the night at the gay bars and made out in front of everybody -- we had sex later that night.
    (4) I asked him out to dinner, he said "yes", but that night he had to cancel because he had a late work meeting--I was bummed.
    (5) He texted me the next day, after work, and asked me if I wanted to see a movie. He drove 30-40 minutes from his work (after working a really long day), picked me up, paid for a movie, and cuddled me in the theatres in front of mostly straight people.
    (6) I jokingly suggested I take him out to lunch while he was at work; the next day he texted me saying, "if you want to have lunch today, i'm available"...He let me pay and we had a really good lunch conversation getting to know eachother more. We madeout in the car before he had to go back to work. I was about to buy some new glasses from the store in the Plaza in which we ate, and I has asked him if he would pick them up after work for me and to give them to me the next time he saw me, and he said "yes".

    I've seen him a total of 4 times (He lives 30-40 minutes away from me) within the past 4-5 weeks.

    So, those are the back facts before this weekend. So, after having a great lunch with him on Monday, I texted him on Thursday telling him I have Sunday off (I usually work weekends), and if he wanted to do something Saturday night or Sunday, let me know. He said, " icon_sad.gif can't this weekend. have a bday sat. night and thorwing a baby shower sunday afternoon :/ "

    My text reply, " icon_sad.gif oh okay. it's cool though, another time then icon_smile.gif"

    He didn't respond with any other suggestions...


    So, this is the juicy part. Friday night, I decide to go out with an old fling of mine who was visiting LA. I might as well have fun, right? And, no, I wasn't planning on hooking up with my friend. So, my friend and I go to a bar, have a blast and we decide to go to one last bar (The Eagle: "Leather Bar" here in LA for those of you who know it). It was "Cub Scout Night"..and my friend had never been on this side of town. So, this night was nearly over for me, since I had to be at work at 6:00AM the next day. It's a crowded night, so I start to mingle my way through the herd of hot men--low and behold, I bump into the my guy.

    We smile at eachother. I notice that he's with/talking to another guy. I'm super drunk. I say, "hey"...and I acknowledge him by doing a psuedo hug with my hand on his shoulder....I turn around, and speedily walk out of the bar. I leave.

    My Questions:

    a. Did I have a proper reaction? Did I over-react?
    b. Do you think the fact that he didnt' invite me out on Friday, means he's not "THAT" interested in me?
    c. Should I have had a brief conversation with him at the bar?
    d. What the fuck should I do now? It's Sunday, and neither of us have texted/called eachother. Should I text him today, saying, "hey, it was great bumping into you, let me know when you're availabe next"?

    Please, I need advice. I REALLY like this guy, and I don't want to fuck things up. Thanks! Sorry, I know, I'm being a total girl. It's not really "love" advice...but "Loveline" type of advice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    You're not being a total girl. Really now.

    Here, I'll put his boots on for a moment.

    Dear Realjock

    My bf called me on Thursday and asked if I was free on Saturday or Sunday. Damn. I had a birthday I'd agreed to go to, and on Sunday a baby shower to go to.

    On Friday I went out. Later that night he showed up at the club. I thought he was busy, so how come he was free on Friday and didn't ask me out? He was real drunk, gave me a sorta hug and left.


    Now, back to you. Yes, you should have stayed and talked to him. Put the text messaging thingy in a drawer and PHONE him so you can both talk with your VOICES.
    TODAY.

    lol, tell him I sent you.

    -Doug

  • byronicheros

    Posts: 211

    Mar 06, 2011 9:22 PM GMT
    So, I should call him, aye?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2011 9:31 PM GMT
    You shouldn't have left. You were there w/ a friend and that should have taken precedence over this guy that you just met. Before you starting lking at china patterns I'd slo the pace and make sure you're both traveling at the same speed and are on the same page. No need to rush cause if he's interested he's not going anywhere unless you become obsessive and clingy.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 06, 2011 11:51 PM GMT
    cold saidFirstly, you're not being a girl, it's called being human...

    (a) You didn't over react, but you probably could have handled it better - remember - you know nothing about the guy that he was with. In fact, you were with a guy that night too.

    (b) No. You only said you were available Saturday or Sunday night. You didn't invite him out on Friday with your friend, so he might even be feeling the same way. Also, again you don't know anything about this person he was with. It could be him putting in after-hours to work towards a promotion, it could be his brother, it could be a friend he was trying to cheer up...

    (c) Probably should have, but it's not the end of the world.

    (d) Try and look at things from his perspective - you were with another guy, you saw him, acted awkwardly and then took off. Suspicious. Maybe you should bite the bullet and be honest with him - tell him you like him and that you acted strange because you were a bit embarrassed to see him with another guy. Frankness is a good thing.

    Stop worrying. It sounds like you have a good thing going.
    Good luck!
    x





    You should give advice for a living...
  • byronicheros

    Posts: 211

    Mar 07, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    Webster666 said
    cold saidFirstly, you're not being a girl, it's called being human...

    (a) You didn't over react, but you probably could have handled it better - remember - you know nothing about the guy that he was with. In fact, you were with a guy that night too.

    (b) No. You only said you were available Saturday or Sunday night. You didn't invite him out on Friday with your friend, so he might even be feeling the same way. Also, again you don't know anything about this person he was with. It could be him putting in after-hours to work towards a promotion, it could be his brother, it could be a friend he was trying to cheer up...

    (c) Probably should have, but it's not the end of the world.

    (d) Try and look at things from his perspective - you were with another guy, you saw him, acted awkwardly and then took off. Suspicious. Maybe you should bite the bullet and be honest with him - tell him you like him and that you acted strange because you were a bit embarrassed to see him with another guy. Frankness is a good thing.

    Stop worrying. It sounds like you have a good thing going.
    Good luck!
    x





    You should give advice for a living...


    Yes, I think this is the best advice, so far. Thanks!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 6:33 AM GMT
    byronicheros said
    a. Did I have a proper reaction? Did I over-react?


    You did ok. You didn't scream, you didn't make a scene. You didn't have to run off, but otherwise you did ok.

    byronicheros said
    b. Do you think the fact that he didnt' invite me out on Friday, means he's not "THAT" interested in me?

    Maybe. Maybe he already had other plans with a friend. Maybe he's dating someone else as well.

    byronicheros said
    c. Should I have had a brief conversation with him at the bar?


    It probably would have been better to say more than just "hi" since you say you want love advice. It's ok, you can't go back in time and change things, so don't sweat it.

    byronicheros said
    d. What the fuck should I do now? It's Sunday, and neither of us have texted/called eachother. Should I text him today, saying, "hey, it was great bumping into you, let me know when you're availabe next"?


    If you like this guy, you'd do better by calling him and talking to him. Let him know that you would like to see him again and make plans to do something.
    If you like making out with and hooking up with him, then tell him that you have fun with him.

    You two only saw each other a handful of times, you aren't exclusive, and it sounds like neither of you have said anything about making things any more than just meeting up and hooking up.
    If you want to go out with him again then it's up to you to tell him and put some action into place. Right now you've just talked about having fun with this guy. He doesn't know if you're interested in dating him.