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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    Here's my dilemma:

    Raised as a religious kid.

    I am attracted to both male and female.

    The church I attend does not supports same sex relationships. I fell guilty and at times ashamed to have this tendencies towards other men. I have no intention to stop going to church for I love it.

    How do I surpass my "controversy"?

    If you do attend a church and relate to this topic, I like to hear from you. Thank you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    Hey man

    A couple of things: most conservative evangelical churches don't support gay people. They take scripture too literally.

    A couple of sites to help you:

    www.gaychristian.net
    www.godmademegay.com
    www.gaychristian101.com

    I had to leave my previous church and go to a gay friendly one that still is bible based. Its been the cause of a lot of pain for me.

    Tip: stay away from Exodus International and ex gay ministries. They will screw your mind up. Private message me if you need to chat more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 4:12 AM GMT
    Like the guy above me said, go to another church that will accept you. My church isn't known for being a gay friendly church or anything, but they go by the model "come as you are" and they just teach from the bible and don't take any extreme translations of what it says. There is actually a guy that is gay that sings at my church on occasion. I mean it is not openly talked about that he is, but it is pretty obvious and everyone that is close with the church knows. I absolutely love it there.

    Don't let a church ever tell you that you don't get to be a member of a church because you are gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    its called selective thinking. read the bible and choose what you want to believe and what you don't. that is what everyone else does. *shrug*

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    i dont go to church because of this shit...religious against same sex relationship. Thats the only reason i dont go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    Thanks for the reply.

    My church doesn't deny membership for being gay. Excommunication happens only if you are found to be an "active homosexual".

    Which brings out my frustration of being intimate with someone without feeling guilt...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    Jockster81 saidThanks for the reply.

    My church doesn't deny membership for being gay. Excommunication happens only if you are found to be an "active homosexual".

    Which brings out my frustration of being intimate with someone without feeling guilt...


    I still think you should find another church. Why do you have to stay at this one? Basically they want you to live your life as an asexual object, like a rock, or a glass of water. Sure you could try to marry a woman, but that will most likely cause more harm than good. Find a church that will accept you COMPLETELY for being gay. One that will let you come with a boyfriend and not burn you at the stake.

    Look at those websites the other guy gave you to help you hopefully accept yourself a bit more. I went through the same thing for a lot of my life, buddy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 4:53 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidits called selective thinking. read the bible and choose what you want to believe and what you don't. that is what everyone else does. *shrug*



    it doesn't work like that, the bible is both implicit and explicit, litteral and litterally. it takes quite a bit of reading to fully understand it.

    it's hard... but walking the walk was never meant to be easy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 4:58 AM GMT
    Jockster81 saidHere's my dilemma:

    Raised as a religious kid.

    I am attracted to both male and female.

    The church I attend does not supports same sex relationships. I fell guilty and at times ashamed to have this tendencies towards other men. I have no intention to stop going to church for I love it.

    How do I surpass my "controversy"?

    If you do attend a church and relate to this topic, I like to hear from you. Thank you.


    My father is a minister. He told me he'd never accept it. I told him that's fine. However, every chance I get I say something like, "So I had sex with Satan last night." I'm probably just making my situation worse. lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 5:02 AM GMT
    Accepting you if celibate only is not biblical. Second- its not acceptance.

    You seriously need another church. I totally understand why some posters above won't go to church. Divorce is specifically mentioned as sin in context yet they have no issue as opposed to six scriptures taken out of context about homosexuality.

    Its a rough process.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 5:29 AM GMT

    Two things: you will not be taking sex with you when you eventually go, so it doesn't matter. How you conduct yourself does.

    Also consider what Ezekiel said was the sin of Sodom according to God. It had zero to do with gay people.

    I realize your faith in your faith, so this thinking along those lines.

    -Doug
  • needleninja

    Posts: 713

    Mar 07, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    well as much as i hate to do this, i swear that once you get away from that church youll be much better, either that or just stop going to church all together.
    gtfo.png

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 6:46 AM GMT
    Wow... religion really fucks some people up.
    If you're attracted to both men and women then just stick to women- that way you won't "sin" or feel "ashamed." icon_cool.gif ...unless you're just lying to yourself, in which case I would recommend going to a support group.

    http://www.gayfresno.com/friendly-churches

    needleninja saidwell as much as i hate to do this, i swear that once you get away from that church youll be much better, either that or just stop going to church all together.
    gtfo.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 6:50 AM GMT
    Then you are a bisexual, and have choices, I never had as a pure homosexual, one of the real gays!

    Nothing stoping you from taking a wife, breed advance in your job and church, and then when you are 60, start to live the gay lifestyle. Either way as a bisexual you do have choices, that us gays do not have.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    Hmm my thoughts as a Catholic, the Pharisees was a bitch to Jesus because he was different and had a different set of values; however, things needed to change in the time period, so it was acceptable. Now, times are changing, we should be accepted. Why should I care about what others think? "Treat others as you would want them to treat you," blah blah along those lines pretty much they're asking for us to bitch at straight ppl for being straight. If we keep fighting amongst ourselves we get nowhere. So then, let bygones be bygones, who gives a fuck. God loves me for who I am icon_twisted.gif, even if I were to be a sinner, and the same goes for you. Amen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 8:08 AM GMT
    Meninlove are totally right:

    The sin of Sodom was not being gay- it was arrogance and violence. That was rape- and applied to Lots daughters as well.

    I recommend a good book by a friend of mine: it won the Gay and Lesbian Bestseller -

    Thou Shalt Not Love by. Patrick M Chapman - it helps answer your dillemas

    Also:

    What the Bible REALLY says About Homosexuality- by Daniel Helminiak

    Both are available on Amazon
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 10:58 AM GMT
    You have misidentified your dilemna, which is that the church you so love condemns you. You are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. That's your dilemna, not that you're attracted to men. When you grow up to be a big boy, you'll denounce your psychological captors and tell them to fuck off bigtime.
  • BCSwimmer

    Posts: 209

    Mar 08, 2011 10:12 AM GMT
    Here is a book you may find of interest:

    51moEcaSQ7L._SL500_AA300_.jpg

    http://www.amazon.com/Wrestling-Angel-Faith-Religion-Lives/dp/1573225452
  • The6Degrees

    Posts: 53

    Mar 18, 2011 11:00 AM GMT
    Find another church.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2011 11:07 AM GMT
    Pray about it, then go look for a new church. The idea that God rejects gays is just not biblical. God loves you and he wants a relationship with you just as you are right now.

    Good luck, dude. I will be keeping you in prayer in this matter.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Mar 18, 2011 11:08 AM GMT
    This may or may not be of help to you. I was a part of a Baptist church when younger. But I found that as I grew older I had all these questions about stuff. Life and spirituality and everything outside of it. Ghosts, demons, devils, angels, spirits, ESP etc etc etc... My church and many others weren't able or didn't want to answer those questions. They were outside of the norm I guess.
    I changed religions. At first I felt as though what I was doing was a great transgression and was scared. But as time passed it was only from what I was taught (by fear) that everything was ok. I can find what I'm comfortable with and that accepts me.
    At first it wasn't easy because I felt like everything was against me. But if we can't be accepted 100% then THAT is the real problem. And it may just be the people not the religion itself. Look around.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2011 11:43 AM GMT
    It shouldn't matter what any church thinks. There are countless denominations because so many churches believe different ways. All that should matter is what God thinks. Men are fallible and every church believes right things and wrong things. You shouldn't feel guilty about what your church thinks. God's opinion, as a believer, should be your only concern. If going to church is that important to you, find one that matches up the most to where you're at in your relationship to God. Or just ignore the teachings you don't agree with in your current church. Eventually you'll have to do that anyway. I can't imagine how anyone could be in agreement 100% with everything a church teaches anyway. A church is made up of individuals who are, or should be, on their own personal spiritual journey and have different opinions, experiences, etc. I've changed churches many times as I've grown spiritually. There's nothing wrong with that. People grow and change.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2011 12:48 PM GMT
    I have some books at my library that could help...

    2u5e2j8.jpg

    ignore the book on Euthanasia to the left...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 18, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    I attended an Episcopal church as an infant, toddler and child.....

    Thrilled that my church is as reasonable and accepting. I bring my bf to service and all know he is my partner.

    Can't imagine being in any other environment.
  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Mar 18, 2011 1:09 PM GMT
    I'm pretty sure you're feeling this guilt because you are still going to church. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm catholic and i believe in god and jesus christ our lord and I do go to church too...just only like twice a year. I pray a lot though and I feel better after praying all the time. I just believe if you limited your time at this church and started exploring these feelings more and worrying about what YOU want to do and what YOU feel, you'd feel better and more comfortable about who you are.
    You should also know God would want you to be who you are and not someone the church wants you to be because that is how he created you!
    Peace be with you my friend! I wish you the best!