Threesomes

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2011 9:39 PM GMT
    Hey guys,

    I could use some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. Well we have discussed threesomes before but never acted on it. My boyfriend has had threesomes in the past and I was a virgin until I met him. All in all, I'm scared a threesome could ruin our relationship. I'm scared he desires other men and is no longer satisfied by me alone. Can anyone offer me an unbiased opinion as to wether or not I should commit to a threesome. I've only ever been with him sexually but he's the love of my life and I don't want to lose him. What should I do?
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    Mar 07, 2011 9:49 PM GMT
    I think you already answered this.

    You are uncomfortable with the idea of a third person because you associate sex with intimacy. By including another person into the formula, you fear that the intimacy between you and your boyfriend will be threatened.

    You are entitled to feel uncomfortable. This is a legit feeling. I think it reveals your boundaries in a relationship, and threesomes just don't sit well within them at this time.

    You should respect what you're feeling. If you play it off and pretend it doesn't bother you and actually go through with it, you will regret it. It will only consume you and cause more problems for you - and by extension your relationship.

    Be strong enough to assert to your boyfriend that the idea bothers you. He should respect that too.

    It sounds like you may be a little insecure on your own front as well. I say this because you mentioned that you're scared of losing him. Speaking from my own experience (which I am still working through): don't allow yourself to become too attached to a person if you feel that the same intense feelings aren't returned. If you are even remotely insecure as it is, this inequality will hurt you more in the long run...

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    Mar 08, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    Only do 3somes when you are ready to do them.

    Right now you are not ready. Tell your bf that you are not interested at this point.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    Don't do it IF (i) you cannot handle seeing your boyfriend engaging in sex with another guy, or (ii) your boyfriend cannot handle seeing you engaging in sex with another guy. Three-somes can destroy a relationship if you're not mentally or emotionally prepared for it. I'd been the "third" in many a consensual three-some and I'd witnessed first-hand the ramifications of three-somes gone wrong (mainly because one of the two guys usually ends up getting jealous, feeling threatened, feeling inferior, etc.). If it's done right and the parties involved are mature enough to handle it, three-somes CAN be a lot of fun, but it's not for the emotionally fragile.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    truereligiin saidHey guys,

    I could use some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. Well we have discussed threesomes before but never acted on it. My boyfriend has had threesomes in the past and I was a virgin until I met him. All in all, I'm scared a threesome could ruin our relationship. I'm scared he desires other men and is no longer satisfied by me alone. Can anyone offer me an unbiased opinion as to wether or not I should commit to a threesome. I've only ever been with him sexually but he's the love of my life and I don't want to lose him. What should I do?
    Sit down with him and read this to him. It's a good way to open up the communications. I agree with Dominus though, don't do it until you're comfortable with it. You two need to talk about boundaries, what's acceptable (ie: kissing, bjs, anal, top, bottom). Don't do it until you have a game plan in place and you're both comfortable with the guy you're inviting in. You have a 2 man relationship now, not just one.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Mar 09, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    While I was in relationship with my ex, we had quite a few threesomes. Long story short, we just couldn't handle having someone else with us, so either he was pissed, or me. Cause third guy is always more into one of us, not both of us. My advice is don't do it, until u r both comfortable with that.