What should I do?....I have not been on a date or in a relationship for about 7 Years. HELP

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    Mar 08, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    I have been single for over 7 years.... I am not sure if I will ever be ready to be in another realtionship...(I got my heart broken). But I also do not do the hook up thing. I am not judging...just not my style. The thing is that I do want to be in a realtionship, but it is hard for me to let my guard down. I was wondering if there other guys that feel the same way.
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    Mar 08, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    stop waiting around to be asked and start doing the asking...7 years for reallsss?
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidstop waiting around to be asked and start doing the asking...7 years for reallsss?


    that is the problem.. I think I am too shy and lack of confidence to ask someone out, I have this huge fear or rejection.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidJust go out there and meet new people and evaluate them on the basis of friendship (well, and looks too since you are looking to eventually start to date, but friendship is most important).

    If you find a friend who you like being around, and he feels the same, then just take it from there.

    Oh, and just remember, out of 100 guys you'll meet, 99 of them will be duds, so don't start thinking there's something wrong with you.... icon_wink.gif


    Thanks for the advise, I guess I need to find someone that likes me and that i feel comfotable to be around with.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    Nah don't sweat it, I've been single for 27, s'all good!
  • BardBear

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    Mar 08, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    Um. Do you have hobbies? The gym? Why not NOT ask a person out? Just be, like, yourself. Just make friends and don't set yourself up for failure by thinking you have to date. Just hang with the guys, as it were.

    However, your last post is telling. You're upset that you've not had a date, but when someone gives you an answer--you say you're shy.

    So, well, I think you had your answer all along. You're issue has nothing to do with dating. It has everything to do with getting over being shy. Fix that and we can help you.

    Peace?
    Bardy
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:25 AM GMT
    BardBear saidUm. Do you have hobbies? The gym? Why not NOT ask a person out? Just be, like, yourself. Just make friends and don't set yourself up for failure by thinking you have to date. Just hang with the guys, as it were.

    However, your last post is telling. You're upset that you've not had a date, but when someone gives you an answer--you say you're shy.

    So, well, I think you had your answer all along. You're issue has nothing to do with dating. It has everything to do with getting over being shy. Fix that and we can help you.

    Peace?
    Bardy


    I do play tennis a lot, I belong to a gay league, I have great friends there and do some social stuff.. I tend to just keep to myself. How do you fix that?
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    I haven't looked in 7 years either! Seven-year itch for both of us now. icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    wrestlervic saidI haven't looked in 7 years either! Seven-year itch for both of us now. icon_wink.gif


    so, how do you deal with it?
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    elninodeoeo saidI have been single for over 7 years.... I am not sure if I will ever be ready to be in another realtionship...(I got my heart broken). But I also do not do the hook up thing. I am not judging...just not my style. The thing is that I do want to be in a realtionship, but it is hard for me to let my guard down. I was wondering if there other guys that feel the same way.


    How unique it seems... I too have not so much as had sex over the last seven years. The relationships I trusted 12 years ago infected me with HIV and it took me awhile to realize they were continuing to destroy my self esteem. I was so damn naive it was pathetic!!!

    It's bad enough that I have severe mental disorders but, now it looks more to me that everyone else that sells themselves short in a relationship probably needs psychological help more than I do.

    If there's a good relationship that exists well, it's not there for me and I have learned to change my priorities in life to accommodate the sacrifices I will now have to live with. Seemed hard at first but, I feel good about knowing my decisions were dignified and there are other ways to be happy and free.

    If you feel ready just remember, do NOT give up your independence for anyone because in the end we all have to carry our own weight. Don't let the words "I love you" distract you from your freedom to be happy when you feel like it.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    elninodeoeo said
    wrestlervic saidI haven't looked in 7 years either! Seven-year itch for both of us now. icon_wink.gif


    so, how do you deal with it?


    Well, I haven't really looked for it, and it's something you shouldn't look for. What you should do is find interests that put yourself in front of like-minded people. Clubs (hobbie-type), places to meet, etc.
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    Mar 08, 2011 8:38 AM GMT
    Its hard dating, especially after youv had your heart broken like you said, but 7 years I think is long enoigh, lol

    You have to put yourself out there in some kind of way and meet people. Try to get over your shyness by getting involved in activites you like & feel comfortable in.

    Its kinda like getting mad if you never win the lottery but you never buy a ticket....

    Join the land of the living, I know its hard because im going thru the same thing. Even if you dont find a serious relationship atleast youv made some new friends.