Is he gay?

  • MisterStud123

    Posts: 15

    Mar 08, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    My bff is straight, or so he says. Ever since I came out to him, he keeps calling me a bottom girl. I asked him if he wanted to test that hypothesis jokingly, and he said he would be up for it (jokingly?). I said I was worried about his gag reflex, and he said that it's my gag reflex he is worried about.

    Today, he asks me: "Do you think I'm gay?" And I told him that I once thought he was because he was flirty with me at times. He has played footsie with me before (jokingly, I assume) and we have weekly lunches which I basically view as a date.

    Is he gay? Sidenote: He is married with a kid.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    i say hit it
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    Was the "footsie" sox on or sox off?

    Sox on=straight

    Sox off=Gay
  • MisterStud123

    Posts: 15

    Mar 08, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    It was obv sox on.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    He is super-gay.

    Wife= beard
    Kid= gay accessory
    Every man with a wife and kid is just hiding the fact that he's gay. Every. Single. Man.


    He might be. He might be curious.
    He's your best friend, so he might just be doing things that he thinks will show you that he likes you and is comfortable around you.
    He might not have other gay friends and is able to relax and play around with you in a way he can't around his straight friends.

    Your date with him is only a date in the sense that you planned something on your calendar.
    If it was anything other that that, you should tell your friend's wife that your friend is cheating on her with you (at least emotionally).

  • MisterStud123

    Posts: 15

    Mar 08, 2011 3:30 AM GMT
    I asked him why he was asking me if I thought he was gay. He said: "Just curious."
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    MisterStud123 saidIs he gay? Sidenote: He is married with a kid.
    Yes.

    Sidenote: I've dated MANY guys who WERE married...and have kid(s).
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    Mar 08, 2011 7:12 AM GMT
    Maybe he's not a pure homosexual, one of the real gays, but a half brother a bisexual?
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    Mar 08, 2011 7:32 AM GMT
    It's just a bromance. Don't try to pursue something that isn't there. Otherwise, you'll ruin a friendship and a marriage at the same time.
  • needleninja

    Posts: 713

    Mar 08, 2011 7:33 AM GMT
    im not going to put my money on it that hes gay. let things be as they are and let him go to you if the time comes.
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    Mar 08, 2011 7:35 AM GMT
    This guy is a friend of yours? You wanna see if you can maybe hook up with him? Let me tell you how this is going to play out: this guy, if he is gay, is obviously so deep in the closet that he has a wife and child. Do let's say you push the issue and something does happen, he will either try it once, be so freaked out and stop seeing you as a friend forever because of guilt. Or he will cheat on his wife with you, the whole thing will blow up and it'll be the end of that. Perhaps he does sleep with you, leave his wife and stays with you.... a new gay won't stay with you for long he'll play the field soon after. So, what have we learned? If you value the friendship keep your dick in your pants and stop pressing the issue
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    Mar 08, 2011 7:39 AM GMT
    ATX611 saidThis guy is a friend of yours? You wanna see if you can maybe hook up with him? Let me tell you how this is going to play out: this guy, if he is gay, is obviously so deep in the closet that he has a wife and child. Do let's say you push the issue and something does happen, he will either try it once, be so freaked out and stop seeing you as a friend forever because of guilt. Or he will cheat on his wife with you, the whole thing will blow up and it'll be the end of that. Perhaps he does sleep with you, leave his wife and stays with you.... a new gay won't stay with you for long he'll play the field soon after. So, what have we learned? If you value the friendship keep your dick in your pants and stop pressing the issue


    TOTALLY agree with ATX611. Don't be a home wrecker no matter what.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Mar 08, 2011 7:47 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidWas the "footsie" sox on or sox off?

    Sox on=straight

    Sox off=Gay


    lolololololololololololololololololololololol....and then he answers that!...lmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmao.....icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 08, 2011 7:58 AM GMT
    ATX611 saidThis guy is a friend of yours? You wanna see if you can maybe hook up with him? Let me tell you how this is going to play out: this guy, if he is gay, is obviously so deep in the closet that he has a wife and child. Do let's say you push the issue and something does happen, he will either try it once, be so freaked out and stop seeing you as a friend forever because of guilt. Or he will cheat on his wife with you, the whole thing will blow up and it'll be the end of that. Perhaps he does sleep with you, leave his wife and stays with you.... a new gay won't stay with you for long he'll play the field soon after. So, what have we learned? If you value the friendship keep your dick in your pants and stop pressing the issue



    FTW!
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    Mar 08, 2011 8:49 AM GMT
    ATX611 saidThis guy is a friend of yours? You wanna see if you can maybe hook up with him? Let me tell you how this is going to play out: this guy, if he is gay, is obviously so deep in the closet that he has a wife and child. Do let's say you push the issue and something does happen, he will either try it once, be so freaked out and stop seeing you as a friend forever because of guilt. Or he will cheat on his wife with you, the whole thing will blow up and it'll be the end of that. Perhaps he does sleep with you, leave his wife and stays with you.... a new gay won't stay with you for long he'll play the field soon after. So, what have we learned? If you value the friendship keep your dick in your pants and stop pressing the issue



    ATX611 FTW!! I agree totally!!
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    Mar 08, 2011 8:51 AM GMT
    I posted before I even read my Runninclrt neighbor posted the same response.

    Yeah, that road leads somewhere you don't want to go, my friend. Keep the boy on the straight highway and be safer.
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    Mar 08, 2011 8:53 AM GMT
    I think he is attracted to men. Many "straight" guys said they love me~









  • sea_buddy

    Posts: 143

    Mar 08, 2011 11:42 AM GMT
    I wonder if gays have a natural tendency to go for married guys. Want what we don't have?

    Or, maybe there are just that many unhappily married closet cases out there?

    Or, images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT7og8cs41QIIcNeUh8vs_
  • MisterStud123

    Posts: 15

    Mar 08, 2011 12:09 PM GMT
    For those jumping the "home wrecker" gun, let me clarify. He is currently undergoing a separation with his wife for different reasons. He has told me many times to keep my phone on at night in case he needs to get away from his home and needs a place to stay.
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Mar 08, 2011 12:21 PM GMT
    MisterStud123 saidFor those jumping the "home wrecker" gun, let me clarify. He is currently undergoing a separation with his wife for different reasons. He has told me many times to keep my phone on at night in case he needs to get away from his home and needs a place to stay.


    warning! warning! danger will robinson! danger will robinson!......
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    Mar 08, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    MisterStud123 saidFor those jumping the "home wrecker" gun, let me clarify. He is currently undergoing a separation with his wife for different reasons. He has told me many times to keep my phone on at night in case he needs to get away from his home and needs a place to stay.


    Wow, that means he really might be gay. If he was straight, he would not separate or eventually leave his family. It would have to be a very strong reason as why he is separating with his wife other than the fact he may be bi curious/gay. So if I were you, don't be his rebound test dummy hehe. Just stay true as a friend, let him crash at your place. But seriously bro, don't sleep with him or take advantage of him in his dire state.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Mar 08, 2011 1:01 PM GMT
    rjb2001 said
    MisterStud123 saidFor those jumping the "home wrecker" gun, let me clarify. He is currently undergoing a separation with his wife for different reasons. He has told me many times to keep my phone on at night in case he needs to get away from his home and needs a place to stay.


    Wow, that means he really might be gay. If he was straight, he would not separate or eventually leave his family. It would have to be a very strong reason as why he is separating with his wife other than the fact he may be bi curious/gay. So if I were you, don't be his rebound test dummy hehe. Just stay true as a friend, let him crash at your place. But seriously bro, don't sleep with him or take advantage of him in his dire state.


    It's been said above ^^^^^^ And also been said but worth repeating that when and if falls out of the closet he will likely go through a string a men like wild fire. Don't be the one that lights the match - you will get hurt.

    Ask this guy to read the book "The Velvet Rage" and ask him if any of resonates as it goes to you. In that way he gets to read the book to help you and possibly himself. It would be a nice way to help your friend investigate his sexuality while thinking he's doing it to help you.
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    Mar 08, 2011 1:11 PM GMT
    I think he is gay also, or at least very CURIOUS. The only way to find out is to give him what he is obviously curious to know.
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    Mar 22, 2011 10:21 AM GMT
    ATX611 saidThis guy is a friend of yours? You wanna see if you can maybe hook up with him? Let me tell you how this is going to play out: this guy, if he is gay, is obviously so deep in the closet that he has a wife and child. Do let's say you push the issue and something does happen, he will either try it once, be so freaked out and stop seeing you as a friend forever because of guilt. Or he will cheat on his wife with you, the whole thing will blow up and it'll be the end of that. Perhaps he does sleep with you, leave his wife and stays with you.... a new gay won't stay with you for long he'll play the field soon after. So, what have we learned? If you value the friendship keep your dick in your pants and stop pressing the issue


    I totally agree with ATX611 because I've BEEN there....DONE that....BURNED the T-Shirt! In my 20's when I was coming to terms with my own sexuality and wanting to explore, I had several situations with "straight" guys who'd flirt, tease and gave me the impression they wanted to fool around, but usually they'd back down if I gave them the tiniest inkling to take them up on it. Sometimes I think I may have "read into" their actions with wishful thinking.

    Well one day, one of my good friends at work whom I'd developed a physical attraction to started flirting with me. At that time, I always naively thought that if a man was married, he was definitely straight. My friend wasn't married, but had a serious girlfriend that had moved in with him. I couldn't deny my strong attraction for him and started flirting back. It escalated when one weekend he invited me to stay over at his condo and told me that his girlfriend was going to be away at her mothers and we'd have the place to ourselves for a "guys weekend". We spent the day hanging out, playing ball, went swimming in his pool and finally settled down in his den to have a few beers. We talked about typical guy things while we drank. At one point the conversation turned and he opened up and started talking about how he and his girlfriend were having trouble in their relationship. I tried being supportive, and told him that he and his girlfriend would work things out. But deep down inside I was hoping things wouldn't and that maybe this was a chance to pursue my attraction. By this time, it was getting late and it was time to hit the sack. My friend got up to go into the bedroom which was next to the den. Since the 2nd bedroom was his girlfriend's sewing room, I figured I'd crash on the couch. So I started to undress, stripping down to my briefs and stretched out on the couch. At this point my friend, whom I thought was getting a pillow and sheets for me, came back into the den and asked me if I'd ever slept on a water bed before? (This was in '83 when they were popular) I said no and he asked me if I wanted to try it out? I jumped at the offer and followed him into the bedroom. I watched as he stripped to his briefs. My heart was beating wildly in my chest! I got into the water bed, which felt weird, and then he joined me after turning out the lights. We lay there on our backs in the dark, talking about things I can't even remember now, but I DO remember my whole body was trembling and that it made the water bed shake! He asked me what was the matter and I told him I was cold and had the shivers. When he turned on his side to look at me, the water in the bed shifted and I rolled over and found myself face to face with our bodies pressed together! Well, the next thing I knew, he had wrapped his arms around me and was nuzzling my neck to "keep we warm". This only made me tremble more, so he pressed closer to my body and I felt that he was hard. My whole body felt like it was electrified and on fire at the same time! Well, we ended up doing the horizontal mambo that night several times. After that weekend, our friendship seemed to change over the next few weeks. He grew more distant until we just stopped talking to each other altogether. Because of the intense feelings I still had for him, it made it horrendously awkward to work together. I felt awful having to see him everyday at work and have him avoid me. Eventually I changed jobs, because it was driving me crazy to go to work everyday and see him without being able to talk. I wanted to go back to the way it used to be.... before that weekend. I missed our friendship intensely, but there was nothing I could do. I later found out he married his girlfriend and they now have children. We've never talked again to this day.
    So my advise is to be best friends and not pursue this urge. It sounds like you are smitten with your friend and are looking for others to validate your curiosity for wanting to explore things with him. Well, you're playing with a loaded gun....you never know how things will turn out!! You don't want to risk your "BFF" status by testing the waters and ending up as an estranged and alienated friend forever! Think about how YOU would feel if you never were able to talk or spend time with him again. Because certain things can't be UNDONE to repair your friendship. Be truly supportive to your friend going through his separation and resist temptation to engage in conversations other than what a close friend would offer. Stop impulsive flirting...it can lead to things beyond your control. I know, I've been there. I've shared this with you in hopes it will ring true. Telling you NOT to do something by itself, doesn't always carry as much weight as through example. Sometimes you CAN learn from someone else's mistakes.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 22, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    I would say he is at least curious. I would just leave it there. Whether he is gay or not may not be determined until he has had some experience (LOL).
    You can test his gag reflex.