ATX611 saidThis guy is a friend of yours? You wanna see if you can maybe hook up with him? Let me tell you how this is going to play out: this guy, if he is gay, is obviously so deep in the closet that he has a wife and child. Do let's say you push the issue and something does happen, he will either try it once, be so freaked out and stop seeing you as a friend forever because of guilt. Or he will cheat on his wife with you, the whole thing will blow up and it'll be the end of that. Perhaps he does sleep with you, leave his wife and stays with you.... a new gay won't stay with you for long he'll play the field soon after. So, what have we learned? If you value the friendship keep your dick in your pants and stop pressing the issue
I totally agree with ATX611 because I've BEEN there....DONE that....BURNED the T-Shirt! In my 20's when I was coming to terms with my own sexuality and wanting to explore, I had several situations with "straight" guys who'd flirt, tease and gave me the impression they wanted to fool around, but usually they'd back down if I gave them the tiniest inkling to take them up on it. Sometimes I think I may have "read into" their actions with wishful thinking.
Well one day, one of my good friends at work whom I'd developed a physical attraction to started flirting with me. At that time, I always naively thought that if a man was married, he was definitely straight. My friend wasn't married, but had a serious girlfriend that had moved in with him. I couldn't deny my strong attraction for him and started flirting back. It escalated when one weekend he invited me to stay over at his condo and told me that his girlfriend was going to be away at her mothers and we'd have the place to ourselves for a "guys weekend". We spent the day hanging out, playing ball, went swimming in his pool and finally settled down in his den to have a few beers. We talked about typical guy things while we drank. At one point the conversation turned and he opened up and started talking about how he and his girlfriend were having trouble in their relationship. I tried being supportive, and told him that he and his girlfriend would work things out. But deep down inside I was hoping things wouldn't and that maybe this was a chance to pursue my attraction. By this time, it was getting late and it was time to hit the sack. My friend got up to go into the bedroom which was next to the den. Since the 2nd bedroom was his girlfriend's sewing room, I figured I'd crash on the couch. So I started to undress, stripping down to my briefs and stretched out on the couch. At this point my friend, whom I thought was getting a pillow and sheets for me, came back into the den and asked me if I'd ever slept on a water bed before? (This was in '83 when they were popular) I said no and he asked me if I wanted to try it out? I jumped at the offer and followed him into the bedroom. I watched as he stripped to his briefs. My heart was beating wildly in my chest! I got into the water bed, which felt weird, and then he joined me after turning out the lights. We lay there on our backs in the dark, talking about things I can't even remember now, but I DO remember my whole body was trembling and that it made the water bed shake! He asked me what was the matter and I told him I was cold and had the shivers. When he turned on his side to look at me, the water in the bed shifted and I rolled over and found myself face to face with our bodies pressed together! Well, the next thing I knew, he had wrapped his arms around me and was nuzzling my neck to "keep we warm". This only made me tremble more, so he pressed closer to my body and I felt that he was hard. My whole body felt like it was electrified and on fire at the same time! Well, we ended up doing the horizontal mambo that night several times. After that weekend, our friendship seemed to change over the next few weeks. He grew more distant until we just stopped talking to each other altogether. Because of the intense feelings I still had for him, it made it horrendously awkward to work together. I felt awful having to see him everyday at work and have him avoid me. Eventually I changed jobs, because it was driving me crazy to go to work everyday and see him without being able to talk. I wanted to go back to the way it used to be.... before that weekend. I missed our friendship intensely, but there was nothing I could do. I later found out he married his girlfriend and they now have children. We've never talked again to this day.
So my advise is to be best friends and not pursue this urge. It sounds like you are smitten with your friend and are looking for others to validate your curiosity for wanting to explore things with him. Well, you're playing with a loaded gun....you never know how things will turn out!! You don't want to risk your "BFF" status by testing the waters and ending up as an estranged and alienated friend forever! Think about how YOU would feel if you never were able to talk or spend time with him again. Because certain things can't be UNDONE to repair your friendship. Be truly supportive to your friend going through his separation and resist temptation to engage in conversations other than what a close friend would offer. Stop impulsive flirting...it can lead to things beyond your control. I know, I've been there. I've shared this with you in hopes it will ring true. Telling you NOT to do something by itself, doesn't always carry as much weight as through example. Sometimes you CAN learn from someone else's mistakes.