I met my equal...and he's straight.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 5:53 AM GMT
    I was in San Diego this week staying at the HI Hostel Downtown in the Gaslight District. He was in the bunk across from me. Tobias is from Germany and is complete hotness. He's my height, wears my same shoe size, he's a bit bigger than me because he boxes, kickboxes, weightlifts and such. He has an incredible intellect and charismatic spirit, and we were both talking for hours about "leadership", "leadership development", "trust", and other topics. Like me, he's an "old soul". His intense eye contact is much like mine. There were many moments when we were just silent, yet communicating. On a whim, I cancelled my airline ticket and we drove up to San Francisco together.

    During our first conversation, he told me about his girlfriend in Germany. During other conversations he also talked about her, and I was able to share my experience on how he can make his relationship more meaningful. We also talked about the differences between gay guys, straight guys, straight girls and how we all relate together.

    We stopped in Los Angeles so that I could have a chat with his friend, who recently found out he is HIV positive, so that I could share my experience, strength, and hope of surviving and thriving with HIV for 26 years, surviving domestic abuse, and surviving other ills of our community. Tobi and I did some good work yesterday.

    Upon arriving in San Francisco, he slept in my bed last night. I slept on the floor.

    I've always hoped to meet a man who is my equal. This man, who is young enough to be my son, and he is my intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and physical equal. But, we're a generation apart, and he's straight.

    At one point in the conversation, I remarked how I have male friends, both gay and straight, with whom I have a strong physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual attraction. But, because my friend is either partnered or straight, I can be satisfied with the friendship and not be tempted to go for more and ruin a good thing. Tobi smiled and gave me a hug.

    I have no regrets about the time we shared. Nor any allusions that our friendship can be anything more. I'm simply grateful to have met a new and enlightened friend.

    I'm just pouring out my soul in gratitude.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 6:41 AM GMT
    Out of my own sense of odd curiousity, why does his sexual preference play a part in this?
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    Mar 08, 2011 7:12 AM GMT
    1067629-cool_story_bro_super.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 9:45 AM GMT
    I think this is an example of male bonding that makes being gay so freeing. Being able to have this type of emotional intimacy is so great with another guy.... a lot of straight guys never get to experience this.

    You will find 4000 guys to have sex with, but you will only have 2-3 REALLY true friends.... cherish that relationship.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Mar 08, 2011 1:51 PM GMT
    itsivan said1067629-cool_story_bro_super.gif


    Win!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 08, 2011 1:57 PM GMT
    Glad you found someone you can relate to so closely. I think we all yearn for that sense... almost like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

    The fact he's straight could work to your advantage. Perhaps you have the makings of a solid, long term friendship... someone you can relate to
    in many areas of your life..... and that certainly is a pot of gold (so to speak)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    That's really cool mate!!

    this is a true 'bromance' icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 2:43 PM GMT
    Nice! It must of made you feel really good inside when he smiled and gave you a hug.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Mar 08, 2011 3:15 PM GMT
    my friendships always last longer than my relationships so this sort of thing is way better to me.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:37 PM GMT
    This is a really sweet story, thanks for sharing icon_smile.gif

    I find it echoes another story I've heard on a different forum. A woman asked and asked for her soulmate and he eventually did turn up in her life. One catch - he was gay. They went on to have a fantastic relationship, a friendship, and it came to an end when all was done icon_smile.gif

    Funny how that is sometimes icon_wink.gif I wish you many happy and enriching years with your friend
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 3:39 PM GMT
    nice story fo sho..

    Sometimes your soul mate is str8... so u can have a best friend icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 4:02 PM GMT
    sometimes life can be so bitter-sweet.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Mar 08, 2011 5:35 PM GMT
    [pats OP's ("enlightened") head condescendingly]
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 5:49 PM GMT
    GAMRican said Nor any allusions that our friendship can be anything more.

    icon_question.gif
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Mar 08, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    You have a new brother now, don't you?

    Happened to me, so that's awesome. I'm proud of you!
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Mar 08, 2011 6:21 PM GMT
    love his name go for it. those of us with that name r great lovers and he is german too even better lol lol personal bias lol lol. but anyway i forgot also we r very loyal friends also so atleadt stay friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 8:36 PM GMT
    Very cool icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 8:50 PM GMT
    Thanks for sharing!
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Mar 08, 2011 8:54 PM GMT
    That's awesome GAMRican.

    Feel free to post where in Germany this young hottie is living. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 9:00 PM GMT
    unfounded7 saidOut of my own sense of odd curiousity, why does his sexual preference play a part in this?


    Because so many guys on this site pine away about how they are in love with their (new) straight friend and wonder how to hit on them in a way that will work.

    I find GAMRican's story useful, refreshing, and a good example for the mixed up folks on RJ.

  • GIVEME10

    Posts: 16

    Mar 08, 2011 9:45 PM GMT
    Cool story; very cool, indeed. I grew up with a friend that I concider to be my "Soul-Mate". He married the girl that lived on the same block, had kids, and I was there with them through out the rering of their sons and til this very day,we remain close and envolved in each others lives. Now they're Grand Parents! We have been there for each other both in good and bad times. We have been Soul Mates for over 40 years.

    Thank You for your story because; upon reading it, I didn't really realize how special he really is to me and I'm gonna call him and share this with him. Most people will never have this type of - generational relationship. I only hope that others have had an awakening like I have after reading about your experience and realized that, while we're so busy tring to find that everything in one person, we often miss out on the value of the relationships that we've had all along.::
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 9:46 PM GMT
    Story of my life.
  • hallyhallo

    Posts: 539

    Mar 08, 2011 10:03 PM GMT
    Germans rule icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 10:53 PM GMT
    Not to criticize, but I am from San Diego, and it's called the "Gaslamp District" not Gaslight, just a reminder. Nice story tho. Best wishes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    i smell a broken heart....icon_rolleyes.gif