Meeting guys at the gym - a puzzle

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 1:43 AM GMT
    NOTE: This is A PUZZLE as the title says - I already have the answer.

    My gym is around 50/50 gay/straight when I go (peak hours), so there is lots of weird eye contact-y business going on, mostly perpetrated by old dudes who go to the gym to sit on machines and stare at young guys and one open-relationship couple

    I'm wondering: how do you meet gay guys at the gym, not for hookups or romance, without engaging in any of the following creeper/cruiser-loser behaviors:

    1) Sitting on a machine and staring at guys instead of focusing on lifting.
    2) Creepy eye contact attempts, especially involving mirrors. (srsly WTF)
    3) Setting foot into the locker room with any intent other than to get your shit and leave. I personally don't use the locker room, btw. (Remember, 50/50 split at this gym, so this locker room is "gay-friendly" at least)
    4) Approaching random strangers asking them for lifting advice, to be their spotter, to work in, or whatnot. Any gay guy who isn't autistic knows what this really is when coming from another gay dude, let's be reasonable now.
    5) Wearing gay underwear like Aussiebum (or other gay clothing) and cutoff shirts to show the underwear band. I don't own gay underwear and don't plan on paying for any.
    6) Cruising/hitting on people/randomly asking someone out/etc.
    7) Any other form of public indecency/exposure.
    8. Following someone around.
    9) Physical contact.
    10) Removing any amount of clothing.

    How do you do it? Btw, because it is eternally relevant:

    287571_745205.jpg

    There *are* answers to this puzzle. I doubt anyone will figure them out, preferring instead to opt for snark like, "Whip out your tool."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    Look, approach them like you would any person. If you don't want them to think you are hitting on them, don't hit on them.

    Not all gay guys are at the gym to hook up, you would be surprised.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 3:13 AM GMT
    http://howtobecomepsychic.org You already x'ed most options but this like might still help you out a bit... But uh.. you don't shower?
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    Mar 09, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    Hmm, I don't think this is rocket science, but often when lifting we forget a few simple social cues.

    Be Friendly, and Smile

    I often default to a stern look when I'm focused on lifting, so I make a point of smiling whenever anyone approaches me to talk, be it for a spot, or to strike up convo.

    You can tell really quick if someone is just approaching you for sex/flirtation. When you show you're not interested, they'll move on fast.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Mar 09, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    i would go the route of asking people for spots, or see if anyone is looking for a workout partner. those are the ones that i would use
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    Well, i o to the GYM every day, and i really cant focus much in my work, i see movement and i get distracted. icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 09, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    sdgman saidLook, approach them like you would any person. If you don't want them to think you are hitting on them, don't hit on them.

    Not all gay guys are at the gym to hook up, you would be surprised.


    I never went to the gym looking for a hook up. Guys should be there for one reason and that is to work out. That doesn't mean you can't make friends there, but hook ups should not be your intent there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 4:14 AM GMT
    Read #4, y'all...

    And why be so "underhanded"? Because
    287571_745205.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    So complicated.

    I wonder how many good opportunities fly by with so many rules imposed in your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 4:52 AM GMT
    just bake some chocolate chip cookies. offer cookies and milk to whomever you want to be friends with, gay or straight. you'll be the most popular kid in no time.

    seriously?icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 5:10 AM GMT
    wow dude, i thought i had a lot of rules lol, if ur like me the reason i abide by a lot of the same rules is so i don't make anyone uncomfortable, i know i live in orlando an there are a lot of gay guys here, but there are also a lot more that would be seriously uncomfortable if they were gettin hit on, they pay for their gym membership and have the right to not be harassed, i know i'm really not lookin when i'm at the gym. i do occasionally violate rule #4 however, but that's just becasuse i usually need a spot. why do you want to meet gay dudes at a gym if not to hook up? are you looking for friends there? go to a gay bar an maybe you will see some of the same ppl there, then u can walk up and say "hey dint i see u at the gym?" or grindr, and just say ur seein somebody till u get to know em a lil. or of course whip out ur tool.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 5:12 AM GMT
    Johnnyhotsauce said why do you want to meet gay dudes at a gym if not to hook up?


    Haha you really can't think of any other way? Friends, dates, etc. I am not bashing you, I just thought it was funny haha
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    Mar 09, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    KSUOWL said
    Johnnyhotsauce said why do you want to meet gay dudes at a gym if not to hook up?


    Haha you really can't think of any other way? Friends, dates, etc. I am not bashing you, I just thought it was funny haha


    Glad somebody gets when i'm bein a smartass : D
  • oyoung

    Posts: 97

    Mar 09, 2011 8:45 AM GMT
    Johnnyhotsauce said
    KSUOWL said
    Johnnyhotsauce said why do you want to meet gay dudes at a gym if not to hook up?


    Haha you really can't think of any other way? Friends, dates, etc. I am not bashing you, I just thought it was funny haha


    Glad somebody gets when i'm bein a smartass : D


    lol... Because there are other rules for "hook up" icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 9:26 AM GMT
    WOW! No#4 is pretty bias and that would explain why you don't know to how approach people anywhere.

    There is nothing wrong with sparking a conversation with a random stranger. In fact, that is how everyone makes friends is with a random stranger. Whether a friend is introducing you to them or whether you're in a group with people you don't know and just talking. Everyone is stranger until you introduce yourself to them.

    Your BF was a stranger til you got to know him I bet and then you eventually started dating him, right? There is nothing wrong with casually walking up to someone who looks like they know what they are doing in a gym and asking for advice or getting some good tips. That's called sparking a conversation and it works wonders. Friendship is usually created and based off of interests. Also your biggest mistake is assuming that the person you are talking to at the gym is gay even it it's a gay dominated gym. You still don't know until otherwise confirmed.

    With rules like these (ridiculous as they are...gay underwear/removing any amount of clothing? Really?) you'll be single (by choice) for awhile. LOL. Live a little and step outside your box every now and then.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 8:41 PM GMT
    yo dude why do you have to call me "autistic"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    I have no idea who the OP is or what he/she is asking or saying- so...
    Who here is willing to make me a banana cream pie?
    banana-pie-ay-1875895-l.jpg

    mmmm tasty.
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    Mar 09, 2011 9:04 PM GMT

    Face it, you're cruising. No matter how much frosting you put on it, you're CRUISING at the gym. I have no problem with that, but you do. You must really hate yourself.

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    Mar 09, 2011 9:12 PM GMT
    Step 1: Get a ridiculous check list that crosses off any activity that can lead to human interaction. Yours is a good start. In fact, I have improved it too.
    #11) Do not speak to anyone, put blinders on and look at the ground, if anyone speaks to you, ignore him as if he doesnt exist.
    Step 2: Create an equally important and limited checklist of people who can be your friend, partner, workout buddy, or romantic interest. Follow said checklist to the bone, and take it out when meeting someone to see if they qualify.
    Step 3: When someone makes your checklist, ask them out on a date. Assuming they say yes, on the said date, ask 3 questions right at the start:
    1) Do you believe in a monogamous relationship?
    2) Do you want kids in 5 years?
    3) Do you cruise? (and therefore lose?)

    If they pass, continue the date, if not then get up, leave, and do not waste your time.
    Step 4: ???
    Step 5: Profit.

    There, you now know how to meet gay men and start a relationship, just like all the other successful single men out there. Go have fun tiger.
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    Mar 09, 2011 9:16 PM GMT
    DJdorchester said
    Face it, you're cruising. No matter how much frosting you put on it, you're CRUISING at the gym. I have no problem with that, but you do. You must really hate yourself.


    Read my post. I said NOT looking for anything sexual.
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    Mar 09, 2011 9:17 PM GMT
    I couldn't read past the fact that you were single..... So all that GOOD ASS SEX, all of those STEAMY SESSIONS, all that mention of LOVE and you've chosen to be alone icon_rolleyes.gif SO THE SEX WAS NEVER THAT GOOD, HUH!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 9:18 PM GMT
    When did checking someone out automatically become cruising? Last I checked, everybody checks out people they are attracted to: men, women, gays, bis, lesbians.

    I always thought cruising meant intentionally going on the prowl for sex. Oh, my young ignorance strikes again!

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    Mar 09, 2011 9:27 PM GMT
    FearTheFall said
    DJdorchester said
    Face it, you're cruising. No matter how much frosting you put on it, you're CRUISING at the gym. I have no problem with that, but you do. You must really hate yourself.


    Read my post. I said NOT looking for anything sexual.



    That's what they all say. Why else would you write "Being single now..."?

    287571_745205.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2011 9:44 PM GMT
    I think you should do your gym workouts in a full burkha. That way no-one will talk to you or inadvertently cruise you.
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    Mar 09, 2011 10:01 PM GMT
    "hi" works for me