snowboarder saidIve been single all my life. Ive had two things that were a bit more serious with some guys,but never worked and ended kinda badly. Last thing is kinda recent,and I feel like I lost interest in dating.
Im really confused about life in general,and I would like to meet some cool guys to make me forget that,but really I hate dating and just dont feel like going for a coffee or dates with some random guys.
Has this happened to other people here? Should I just force myself to go on dates anyway or should I go with the flow and wait?
Just seeing what kind of advices I can get from here...
Yeah, the whole coffee shop thing sucks IMHO. If I don't have something in common relative to an activity interest then I think its pointless to meet in a coffee shop. That is just not how I have ever made any friends. Basing an interaction on the idea that someone is attractive and then meeting to see how they present in person and if their pictures are accurate might be OK for screening potential hookups, but it has never, ever, resulted in my forming a friendship with someone. By the way, I don't consider meeting some random guy like that a date, its more of an interview, and its one that is so overloaded with expectation that it is doomed for failure at the outset. At least is has shown to be that way in my experiences with it.
I just don't do it anymore, at all. If I don't have enough in common to go attend a sporting event, go mountain bike riding, or some activity that facilitates interaction, then I don't want to spend the time meeting a person. It is just a waste of time and not respecting of either person I think.
Dating to me is when I have done something with someone with some regularity, talk on the phone at length, attended sports events, shared physical activities outdoors for some time. Then when I am spending free time with that person on a regular basis I would consider that we are dating. Whether one is seeing other people or not is up to negotiation. To me, dating or dating regularly, is when sharing time with that person is the priority in my social time map.
Its OK to not be dating. I have met some of my most interesting friends when I was out and about and simply enjoying my time engaging in activities that interest me. I think of that as being in my groove and that is when I tend to meet the people that I grow close to in friendship, then sometimes as a lover.
Thats my two cents on it.