What's sex to you?

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    Mar 11, 2011 1:25 AM GMT
    I saw this on GLEE the other night and it made me think. This is a write-up of a conversation Kurt has with his dad (which I copied shamelessly from somewhere else)
    GLEE last epi"For most guys, sex is just this thing we wanna do," he begins. "You know, it's fun, it feels great. But we're not really yhinking too much about how it makes us feel on the inside or how the other person feels about it."

    "Women are different?" Kurt asks.

    "Only because they get that it's about something more than the physical," Burt says. "You know, when you're intimate with somebody in that way, you're exposing yourself, you're definitely going to be more vulnerable. And that scares the hell out of a lot of guys. I can't tell you how many buddies I've got who have gotten way too deep with a girl who said she was cool with just hooking up."

    "But that's not going to happen to me, Dad."

    "No. It's going to be worse," he says. "Okay? Because it's two guys. With two guys, you got two people who think that sex is just sex. It's going to be easier to come by, and once you start doing this stuff, you're not going to want to stop. You just… You've got to know that it means something. It's doing something to you, to your heart, to your self-esteem. Even though it feels like you're just having fun."

    Kurt answers slowly. "So, you're saying, I shouldn't have sex?"

    "I think on your thirtieth birthday it's a great gift to yourself." Burt doesn't quite smile, but it's clear he's not serious. Then suddenly, he is. "Kurt, when you're ready, I want you to be able to do everything. But when you're ready I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter. Because you matter, Kurt."
    I doubt that very many had this kind of talk with their fathers, I, for sure, didn't.

    What has me thinking, though, is the "sex is more than just fun"-line. I always thought that for gay men, sex is just that, "Fun", because baby-makin ain't on the menu with another dude.

    I thought initially, that there is more than one 'sex'.
    That you can have soul-stirring sex with your boyfriend in a loving relationship
    you can have anonymous sex with someone in a bathhouse for example.

    Both can be incredibly satisfying, hot sex (or not), but they are not as different as I thought. I go into both occasions in the hopes of having fun, which includes making myself and the other person(s) as happy as possible (within the limits of the situation). A good experience makes my heart sing, a bad one depresses me.

    What do you think about this? Am I completely missing the point? Opinions, Comments and observations are most welcome. Moralizing diatribes not.

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    Mar 11, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    I wasn't asking so much about the prerequisites for sex, but more about whether gay sex is just sex or is there more? I think that whenever we have sex there is more, a desire to connect, a desire to please and be pleasured. And that 'more' is there, whether it is a
    coldmachine (that) will produce happiness provided you have a functioning sex-cog. My machine, on the other hand, needs pistons, oil, a fan and an monkey on a push bike before the sex-cog can turn
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    Mar 11, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    I liked what Santana said better. When she was talking to Brittany I completely understood where she was coming from.

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    Mar 11, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    gta129, have you told the guy how you feel about him?