I just had a big fight with my father !

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    Mar 14, 2011 10:26 PM GMT
    I just came out to my dad and he madder than hell. now he wont talk to me. what should i do ?
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    Mar 14, 2011 10:34 PM GMT
    with abbs like that, who the fuck cares?
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    Mar 14, 2011 10:36 PM GMT
    I thought Canadians were beyond all that. ... icon_eek.gif
  • disasterpiece

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    Mar 14, 2011 10:36 PM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidwith abbs like that, who the fuck cares?


    Wow, that's fucking helpful man. How about you buy yourself some tact ?

    To the OP, I don't think there's anything you can do for the moment. It can be a shock to your father, it happens, he probably needs some time to cool down and figure out the situation with a less emotional point of view. All he need is time.
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    Mar 14, 2011 10:37 PM GMT
    what can you really do? ...besides become a self-loathing fag like the rest of us.
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    Mar 14, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidwith abbs like that, who the fuck cares?

    thanks man that brought a smilie to my faceicon_wink.gif
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    Mar 14, 2011 11:54 PM GMT
    Disasterpiece said
    shortmuscleguy saidwith abbs like that, who the fuck cares?


    Wow, that's fucking helpful man. How about you buy yourself some tact ?

    To the OP, I don't think there's anything you can do for the moment. It can be a shock to your father, it happens, he probably needs some time to cool down and figure out the situation with a less emotional point of view. All he need is time.


    thanks for the advice. i just disappoint in my father reacation thats all .
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    Mar 14, 2011 11:54 PM GMT
    Nick2992 saidI just came out to my dad and he madder than hell. now he wont talk to me. what should i do ?
    Kick him in the baws and tell him to STFU.
    He'll get over it. icon_twisted.gif
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    Mar 14, 2011 11:54 PM GMT
    He seems to maybe be blaming himself and you might want to let him know it wasn't his fault.
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    Mar 14, 2011 11:56 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Nick2992 saidI just came out to my dad and he madder than hell. now he wont talk to me. what should i do ?

    Wow...a few 'less than helpful' attempts above, lol. I'll give it a go:

    I'm assuming that your dad loves you very much. And he's probably had dreams of what his son's life would be...for 18yrs (and 9 months)...all based on his own life. He was probably really looking forward to watching you take the same first steps in all areas of life that he did. And now suddenly, to him, all of that is in jeopardy...you've derailed the future that he had laid out for you...a pretty good future, he probably thought, and based on a lot of hard work for nearly 20 years on his part and your mom's part.

    He'll need time to reconcile the new information. Maybe at the moment, he's still shaken to his core. With time, he'll realize that you still are hardworking, loving family member, valued friend to others, etc, etc...it's just your potential mating options that have changed, not "you". And then maybe some of his fears will wash away (about what a 'hard life' you've 'chosen') and he'll start to rewrite some of his dreams for you so they're the same as they were (and equally enriching to him), just with a guy rather than a girl.

    If he loves you, he'll come around. Because when we truly love someone, we want what's best for them and what makes them happy, even above what we might wish for ourselves. You've had a while to come to terms with this yourself. He's just starting. I hope you'll both be just fine with a little time.

    Oh, and HUGE congrats for taking such a big step! (And yeah, you really do have amazing abs, dude. icon_smile.gif )


    thanks for the advice i just need to come down and let the sink over
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 14, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    He will talk to you when he's ready, until then I'd say give him some space.

    When he's ready to talk, you should expect him to ask some questions you aren't going to like and hear some things you may not want to hear.

    I know it's easy for me to say, but don't give into anger. Emotions are going to be running high, but do your best to be calm.
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    Mar 15, 2011 12:09 AM GMT
    its just makes mad i want to talk about and he just hangs up the phone grrr.... oh well. thanks for the advice
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    Mar 15, 2011 12:38 AM GMT
    Nick2992 saidits just makes mad i want to talk about and he just hangs up the phone grrr.... oh well. thanks for the advice


    He'll never talk to you again. You just lost your father Bro. Why did you even come out to him in the first place? You bought into the hype of the GAY AGENDA and now you'll pay the price. You have no need to come out to your parents or anyone. You have no need to broadcast it out to the world that you're a fag. You don't see straight people coming out of the closet "I'M STRAIGHT, omg!". Seriously I'm tired of coming out stories. They're all retarded. If being "GAY" takes up more than 1% of your personality than you clearly have mental issues, IMO.
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    Mar 15, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
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    Mar 15, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Great...another faceless torso stirring up shit in multiple threads just for lulz. I'm sure your papa is real proud of you, FSW.


    I don't even have a torso pic up... icon_lol.gif
    Each day someone comes on here and other gay forums with their coming out stories as if they are expecting us all to give them a round of applause for being gay and coming out to their families and friends. It's annoying and I'm going to be vocal about it.
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    Mar 15, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    Best thing to do is give him a bit of time and space. I know its really important to you but it is also a big shock to your dad and he will need some time to process it
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    Mar 15, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    FatSlutWhore said
    yourname2000 said
    Great...another faceless torso stirring up shit in multiple threads just for lulz. I'm sure your papa is real proud of you, FSW.


    I don't even have a torso pic up... icon_lol.gif
    Each day someone comes on here and other gay forums with their coming out stories as if they are expecting us all to give them a round of applause for being gay and coming out to their families and friends. It's annoying and I'm going to be vocal about it.

    And there was your other post riduculing a guy who just broke up with his boyfriend, where you assumed the boyfriend was latino and used racial slurs. And another coming out guy you attacked. And a few other vile posts of yours I've read recently. And you just started a thread about Asians with a vid that I'm worried might be racist.

    You're 25 posts in to RJ. My feedback is that I don't think you're making a good first impression. If you think you're making the impression you wanted to, no worries, I'll eventually just 'ignore' you and we can go our separate ways in RJ. But if that's not the impression you wanted to make though, here's a chance to tweek your presentation.


    Am I suppose to appease the forum GODS? I'll tweak my presentation when you lose the 50lbs+ of weight that gives you a bad first impression...
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Mar 15, 2011 1:38 AM GMT
    You can always ignore FatSlutWhore by clicking the ignore button. I did.

    Hang in there. Your father will probably come around with time, if you act with dignity and honesty. What you have done in coming out takes courage and will make you a bigger and stronger person. He will probably see that - with time. You also contribute to all of us by coming out - so hang in there; with one rather gross exception, we're all behind you.

    If he doesn't come around, pick yourself up, dust off your knees, and get on with what is, after all, YOUR life.

    Nat
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    Mar 15, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    tazzari saidYou can always ignore FatSlutWhore by clicking the ignore button. I did.

    Hang in there. Your father will probably come around with time, if you act with dignity and honesty. What you have done in coming out takes courage and will make you a bigger and stronger person. He will probably see that - with time. You also contribute to all of us by coming out - so hang in there; with one rather gross exception, we're all behind you.

    If he doesn't come around, pick yourself up, dust off your knees, and get on with what is, after all, YOUR life.

    Nat

    thanks nat i need this from other people who have done this with their pAREnts.
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    Mar 15, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    shy_pj saidBest thing to do is give him a bit of time and space. I know its really important to you but it is also a big shock to your dad and he will need some time to process it


    thanks thats really helpful
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    Mar 15, 2011 3:58 AM GMT
    I think your Dad needs to have time to remember you're still the same person.

    I always smiled to myself in a kind way about my own Dad's limitations, which, in the long run were less than what I'd expected.

    -Doug
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    Mar 15, 2011 5:43 AM GMT
    I'm sorry.

    Give your dad some time and space to adjust to things.

    It's a sad day when your dad stops being your hero and makes human mistakes.
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    Mar 15, 2011 5:50 AM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidwith abbs like that, who the fuck cares?


    El Oh EL! icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 15, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    Hang in there buddy...
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    Mar 15, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    Things don't always go the way we want them to and no matter how much we play it out in our heads, the truth is, reality quickly overshadows our desires.

    In this case you didn't get the reaction you were hoping for. I'm sorry to hear this. Please know that your father still loves you, but like you, he was playing something completely different in his head and whatever expectations he might've had for you in the future have drastically been altered with this bit of news. That is the reality of this situation.

    There's nothing more you can do but give him space and let him process this. It's quite a shock for him and he will need time. He still loves you though and that won't ever change so as long as you know that then you can grow and be better a person and he'll eventually (and hopefully) he'll follow suit.

    Best of luck man.