Lost Sex drive?

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    Mar 15, 2011 12:17 AM GMT
    A couple of weeks a go i dated a guy that pretty much blew me off my feet.. we had been talking for a good 3 months, and finally met, now the first few days of that meeting it was amazing, clicked, laughed, talked, i liked it.. the days following that.. were horrendous, the nightlife was introduced, and it was my 2nd time at a gay club, my first time drinking since i had turned 21.. and this guy was setting the club on fire so to speak..my jealous side came out and acted very ..well.. jealous..
    All in all.. those last days we spent together were up and down, and pretty much horrendous to my emotions.
    (lesson learned, stop trying the whole long distance thing)

    Before i met the guy, i was horny 24/7, there wasnt a moment where i wasnt thinking about sex, or talking naughty to someone.. but now.. the thought of sex rarely crosses my mind..ive no desire to engage in any type of dirty talk with anyone.. porn does its thing.. but it just feels weird....before, i could get heated in a matter of seconds, now it actually takes effort.

    Has anyone gone through this? Did i get so emotionally fucked that my sex drive halted?

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    Mar 15, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidYou'll be fine in time.... You just have to get over that horrible experience.
    There are plenty of good men out there that would turn that all around for you.
    Take your time.. feel your feelings. When the right one comes along and you've gotten past this current emotional trama, you'll be emotionally available again.
    Hang in there sexy....icon_cool.gif


    i dont even miss the douchehat, its whats more fucked up lol.
    come fix this ;). ;) ;)
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    Mar 17, 2011 9:32 AM GMT
    I can completely understand. I was in a long relationship, and due to cheating, I lost the relationship and my sex drive along with it.

    For a long time after I was cheated on, I felt like sex was "dirty", and since sex was what messed up my relationship, I felt like I had no need for it anymore. It was only until about 6 months ago I decided to become sexually active again, although I'm sure I'm still not ready for a long time relationship. The last one took a lot out of me, and it took a long time just to get my libido back. Given some more time, I may come around, but I'm still not sure.
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    Mar 18, 2011 3:07 AM GMT
    You clearly have been traumatized and overwhelmed by it all. It's a "too much, too soon" kinda thing. Just relax, give your self time to recover from your traumatic experience, and take it one day at a time. Soon you will be talking dirty with a multitude of hot RJ jocks again.
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    Mar 18, 2011 3:10 AM GMT
    just gotta get it out of your head and you'll spring back in no time handsome icon_razz.gif
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Mar 18, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Hey, you are a very handsome fella yourself! It can be a real challenge to date an attractive guy, which definitely comes out in gay clubs and such. And if he's a flirt too, it can be really trying.

    It is totally understandable that you might have lost your mojo for a bit.
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    Mar 18, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    Know what it is like to have a loss in your sex drive and for my the relationship I'm in and the guy I'm with really does a lot to lower or raise it. A guy who just wanted to get fucked non-stop is fun for about the frist hour then I start to go limp even though he is still enjoying it I start to get a little bored. At the same put me in a relationship with the right guy and I can be horned for hours on end with no sign of going down any time soon. Can go for hours in bed and take a short break and want to go at it again. So for me it's all about the other guy and what type of relationship we have....the better I know him and the stronger I feel about him the higher my sex drive is.
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    Mar 18, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    "the days following that.. were horrendous, the nightlife was introduced, and it was my 2nd time at a gay club, my first time drinking since i had turned 21.. and this guy was setting the club on fire so to speak..my jealous side came out and acted very ..well.. jealous.."


    Ok you guys have to edumacate me, what does setting the club on fire mean?

    -Doug
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    Mar 18, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidThere are plenty of good men out there that would turn that all around for you.


    Old wive's tale. There are a few good men but they're hard to find.
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    Mar 18, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    TheGuyNextDoor saidThere are plenty of good men out there that would turn that all around for you.


    Old wive's tale. There are a few good men but they're hard to find.


    AMEN to that. Very few and hard to find!
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    Mar 18, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    I believe the right guy will do wonders for you in that department again., plus you are young! icon_biggrin.gif

    It seems from science, the older men get the HGH production slows down along with testosterone, does it mean it takes more sustain a healthy sex drive? I mean i could be simply messaging someone and get a boner...I'm worried that down the road it wouldn't be like that anymore icon_sad.gif .
  • sea_buddy

    Posts: 143

    Mar 18, 2011 5:50 AM GMT
    Well...lucky for you, I have free therapy sessions! Yes, that's right! Free!

    Unfortunately, because it's so underfunded, all I have is my bedroom...and no clothes. Economy's bad and all that. icon_wink.gif

    But, really, what you are experiencing is natural. Maybe don't preoccupy yourself with it and it'll naturally erase? Give it a lil time.
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    Mar 18, 2011 5:58 AM GMT
    heh thought this died off.

    thanks for the replies guys icon_smile.gif comforting!
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    Mar 18, 2011 5:59 AM GMT
    meninlove said "the days following that.. were horrendous, the nightlife was introduced, and it was my 2nd time at a gay club, my first time drinking since i had turned 21.. and this guy was setting the club on fire so to speak..my jealous side came out and acted very ..well.. jealous.."


    Ok you guys have to edumacate me, what does setting the club on fire mean?

    -Doug



    out of towner, noone knew him, guy was gorgeous, everyone wanted a piece.
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    Mar 19, 2011 10:53 AM GMT
    This is probably the first of many times that you will go through this. It always seems to result from a temporary loss of self esteem from ones actions or those of others or being preoccupied with other stressors that require a lot of time and energy. I even purposely stopped having sex for a year to focus on other aspects of my life. It just wasn't worth the risk of having to internalize a possible disappointing experience or being rejected.

    When you are dating, the sex drive probably gets associated with a feeling. Getting back out there with the thought of sex not having that association can seem rather lifeless.