Anyone here have a nutcase in their family?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    My brother is one of the most irrational people I know. He's abusive, hostile, and flies into a rage at the slightest provocation. I've had to email him and tell him to not contact me until he is prepared to be respectful.

    How have others coped?
  • mikey_101

    Posts: 250

    Mar 15, 2011 1:33 PM GMT
    I think in the past, that person in our family may have been me.

    Maybe your brother is unhappy with himself, and his life.... it shows as frustration, and percieved by others as irrationailty.
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    Mar 15, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    Everyone in my family is a nut (a good nut!). I'm the nuttiest of all. It's like having a nut convention when we're all together. Fun!

    Nutella Pictures, Images and Photos
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    Mar 15, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    I fear that person in my family is me. Harmless, of course, but being gay, and a bit non-conformist in other ways is enough to earn the title in my family.

    And I don't cope -- that's their job, if it bothers them that much. Which I guess it does, since I never hear from anyone. I suppose if I had more cash I'd have more contact with them, but evidently their perception of my wealth doesn't make it worthwhile for them. That's OK -- my partner gets it all anyway, or else it goes to gay causes.

    Now my partner and HIS family, well... he'll provide the long list himself of all of THEIR nutcases, most of whom I've met and who've easily earned the title in my opinion. Except, once again, it's my partner himself whom the rest of the family thinks is the nutcase, for being gay, out, and living with a man (me). Isn't that true for many of us?
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    Mar 15, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    Yes, I'm sure he is angry but I'm also aware that the rest of us have had therapy etc and had to learn to forgive etc but no matter how many times we reach out to him, he ends up being a total ass. Its difficult.
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    Mar 15, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    in my family (puerto rican half) the order goes grandmother-mother-brother-sister-me

    my grandma she is just hardcore my mom gets it from her
    my brother is just a complete imbecile at times and my sister idont know what happened to her she just went a wall. And then there is me lol im just hyper (mainly due to my addhd) but i can be calm when its needed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    I wrote a whole book about mine. (Check profile)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2011 2:46 PM GMT
    Hi Mom

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    Mar 15, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    blactor saidHow have others coped?


    My oldest sister is ten years my senior. After years of disrespectful and unnecessarily competitive behavior (trash talking me in bars to people I've know since elementary school, giving me a $4 bottle of wine for Christmas when I bought her an expensive food processor, purposely starting fights at family gatherings, et cetera), I finally told her I have nothing left to say to her and permanently cut off all contact with her.

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    Mar 15, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    I'm the only person in my family who stays in shape and somewhat sorta follows the Paleo diet, which includes lots of raw nuts...so I guess I'm the nut case.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Mar 15, 2011 3:09 PM GMT
    my youngest brother used to rock himself to sleep on all fours, banging his skull into the headboard of his crib.

    that seems to have set the stage for his (so called) adult behavior.

    icon_exclaim.gif




    more than once i have wished that my mother was "on the pill" the cold janauary night that my youngest brother was conceived.

    icon_eek.gif
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Mar 15, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    I have had difficulty with all members of my family at various times. I have had to have no contact for periods until I could cool things down inside enough to be able to talk. This has involved therapy and other support. No bad people in my family, just a lot of pain. My mother is the only one left now. She is 86. After years of no communication, we had a very good fight and understand each other better. She took a little responsibility for the things she had done and that helped.
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    Mar 15, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    I just avoid contact with people I don't respect or are irrational. Eventually they fade into oblivion. If I see them at a gathering, I'm civil but don't bother communicating even with small talk. Fortunately, although my brothers all have their uniqueness (and I'm sure they feel the same about me), I have no issues that would prevent me from having them in my life.
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    Mar 15, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    Damn...

    rnch saidmy youngest brother used to rock himself to sleep on all fours, banging his skull into the headboard of his crib.

    that seems to have set the stage for his (so called) adult behavior.

    icon_exclaim.gif




    more than once i have wished that my mother was "on the pill" the cold janauary night that my youngest brother was conceived.

    icon_eek.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Mar 15, 2011 3:16 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidDamn...>




    yeh! during the last coherent conversation i had with my father, he said that the last child gave him and my mother more grief than the other three kids combined.

    icon_sad.gif


    my youngest bro's first two cars left for their final drive behind tow trucks, destined for the junk yard. the only virgin undented panels were the roofs...and i was waiting for him to flip 'em over and take care of that smooth panel. telephone poles and pine trees had a bad habit of jumping out right in front of him around 3 am.


    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Mar 15, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    As far as I am concerned I owe my parents a debt that will never be repaid not matter what I do because they did everything that could have been expected of them (to the best of their ability) and more. I don't owe anyone else anything. The fact that we share some genetic material means very little by itself. I get along very well with one Niece and a few cousins. I have a cordial relationship with my other siblings but that consists of occasional phone contacts and maybe one visit a year. If anyone is gonna be a dick I have no problem curtailing or ending contact with them. It's sad but you have to preserve and maintain your own well-being too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2011 3:52 PM GMT
    rnch saidmy youngest brother used to rock himself to sleep on all fours, banging his skull into the headboard of his crib.

    that seems to have set the stage for his (so called) adult behavior.


    My sister, that I cut off contact with, used to play soccer in high school and college. She was the goalie, and often when she let a goal slip by she would become so upset that she would slam her head into one of the poles on the goalies net (thus many times cracking her skull open).

    She has always been a little ... on edge to say the least.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Mar 15, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    rnch said
    dustin_K_tx saidDamn...>




    yeh! during the last coherent conversation i had with my father, he said that the last child gave him and my mother more grief than the other three kids combined.

    icon_sad.gif


    my youngest bro's first two cars left for their final drive behind tow trucks, destined for the junk yard. the only virgin undented panels were the roofs...and i was waiting for him to flip 'em over and take care of that smooth panel. telephone poles and pine trees had a bad habit of jumping out right in front of him around 3 am.


    icon_rolleyes.gif



    Sounds extremely familiar, you might be talking about my family. Both siblings that gave me trouble were both born in January. My youngest sibling, instead of banging against the crib, would rock back and forth, harder and harder, on the davenport(couch) saying stuff like I---can't----wait----till----christmas or something like that. Multiple cars, one that was mine, have been totaled by that sibling. I think a lot of these types are a bit autistic and just have never been diagnosed.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 15, 2011 3:56 PM GMT
    My older brother is a "raging alcoholic", a term that I didn't use initially, but he was described that way by another. He tends to drink at night and has done a number of things over the years that really make him look unstable.
    My issues with him are based on his resentment of me (I "got more" than he when we were growing up), which really isn't true. So he's on a "greed trip" when possible. I shouldn't inherit anything.. after all, I'm gay... he had the kids in the family. It largely was pent up until he married his wife (who is a real shrew) and then it was unleashed. Because of some of the events that happened several years ago, including his treatment of my father's youngest brother and his wife (he called them a bunch of names), I have very little to do with him and in fact he is absolutely written out of my will.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Mar 15, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    Celticmusl said...Sounds extremely familiar, you might be talking about my family. Both siblings that gave me trouble were both born in January. My youngest sibling, instead of banging against the crib, would rock back and forth, harder and harder, on the davenport(couch) saying stuff like I---can't----wait----till----christmas or something like that. Multiple cars, one that was mine, have been totaled by that sibling. I think a lot of these types are a bit autistic and just have never been diagnosed.


    now that i have "disappointed the family" and moved into "an undesireable neighborhood" (his words), my youngest brother has little to do with me.

    which is fine with me.

    No Big Loss, IMO.

    icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2011 4:13 PM GMT
    Thanks guys,

    He sends me abusive emails calling me a "fucking arrogant twit" and stuff, after being sweetness and light.

    Life is too short. I'm so sick of him. We all feel the same in the family.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Mar 15, 2011 4:15 PM GMT
    blactor said...He sends me abusive emails calling me a "fucking arrogant twit" and stuff, after being sweetness and light...


    could he be an undiagnosed and non-medicated bipolar sufferer icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2011 4:16 PM GMT
    I had an Uncle ( French side of my family ), that used to beat his wife , and sexually abuse his 2 daughters ... After being released from Jail , he was diagnosticated with cancer , and my aunt (she never divorced him ) nurtured him till his death in 1990...icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2011 4:29 PM GMT
    Well, having read some of these, I suppose it would be my own younger sister. In the 1990s, as our father was dying, our mother already passed away. One night at her home she told me about some family history of which I was unaware.

    Turns out she had become pregnant out of wedlock when 17, of which I knew nothing, shortly after I had entered the Army in 1969. Our parents refused to let her get an abortion, and when the baby was born, our mother insisted she give it up for adoption, which my sister didn't want. But at not quite 18, my sister had no legal standing, our parents in control.

    And the argument our mother used with her was that her older brother (me) would never approve of her keeping the baby! Well, yes I would have! But I was never told nor consulted, just our mother's excuse for her own decision. I should note, as I've posted on RJ before, that beginning at age 13 I was placed in charge of our family's affairs by our parents.

    An odd thing, I know, but this is what they did, that I've explained in detail here. And so our mother claiming her decision was due to me was not inconceivable to my sister. I was, in some respects, the "head of the household" from age 13. Yeah, think about it. Perhaps our parents were also nutcases.

    So my sister lost her baby to enforced adoption, and always resented me personally for it, though I had no knowledge of it. But wait, there's more...

    Years later, my own second son was born. And his mother & I decided to name him after his late uncle, his mother's brother. As I am named after my own mother's late brother, killed in France during WWII. And it made her mother, our son's grandmother, very happy that a family name would live on.

    Except... unknown to me, it was the SAME NAME my sister had put on the birth certificate of her own bastard son years earlier. What a weird & incredible coincidence! So that when, years later, we named OUR son that, she and my parents assumed I had learned about my sister's bastard son, and given our own son the same to upset her! Like I would give my son a name solely to insult someone else! What craziness!

    So I explained all this to my sister, my total ignorance of what had transpired, my opposition to what our mother had forced her to do, and you know what? She said she still blamed me for losing her son! I would be forever guilty for her losing her son that she wanted to keep. Plus she told me she hated me for being gay, which she also told me our parents had always known, from my childhood, and talked to her about, but never they said a word to me about it.

    I haven't spoken or communicated with my sister for 14 years. Nor will I ever. After that, I was done with her. I don't need a sister like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2011 5:06 PM GMT
    Hmm we have one strange one but he's mostly harmless...