I always state I'm gay to the public, when appropriate & suitable to the situation. A lot of my business transactions are irrelevant to my being gay, and so it's not mentioned, no more than the fact that I have Dutch, Irish, and a lot of other ancestry. Or that I'm right-handed. The key is relevance.
But neither do I have any shame about who I am. I'm very proud (and happy) about being gay, and when it does have some relevance to the matter at hand, I make it clear.
For instance, I go into a Williams-Sonoma store to buy my partner some kitchen item I know he wants (he's the cook in the family). And I say this is for "my partner." Not for my wife, not for my friend, and certainly not for me, but for my partner. Around here, they know what I mean.
I don't know what happens when you say that in East Podunk, but I used to say that in Fargo, North Dakota, and I was treated with respect. And everywhere else I have ever been.
We need to be out & about, gay & proud, and that is worth as much as all our gay pride parades combined. Show them our presence, do not hesitate to identify ourselves as gay when appropriate. In short, simply be PROUD.
I am. Are you?