One giant clusterfuck of physical fitness

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2011 4:13 PM GMT
    My boyfriend and I have been together six years since I was a lot younger. Short and sweet version is this:

    When we first started dating I was incredibly active and was quite a twink. Sadly, life happened. I gained quite a bit of weight. He was near abusive in his quest to help me lose weight and it actually tore our relationship apart. We both wanted a partner who was active and goal oriented. I realized I loved him despite his mistakes. He's realized he loves me and he should love me for who I am. We are happy again after a short break in our relationship.


    We were on a break for three months. In those three months I lost 26 pounds and not only that but am teaching spin classes at my local gym regularly now after getting my certification. The gym manager wants me to get certified in other areas because the clients love my classes. Even I never thought I would love this this much. The problem is, my partner has now taken on the sedentary role.

    He never wants to go to the gym because it's too crowded, the parking lot is always full and awkward, he feels like everyone is watching him, won't work out at home because it's too small, he doesn't want to work out in the morning cause it's too early and he's tired and he doesn't want to work out in the evening because he's too tired from work. Excuse after excuse.

    What can I do? Just six months ago he was this highly motivated person who was solely invested in me getting to work out. I almost feel like he's intimidated by how physical I am now and he's the type who would get discouraged by that.

    Dunno what to do. It's really weird. It's like we've switched roles entirely. I'm now frustrated at his lack of motivation to want to be active with me and better himself
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2011 6:41 PM GMT
    If you think he's worth it, hang in there. Engage him in frank and honest discussions, and tell him how you feel without sugar-coating anything. Lay everything out on the table, be transparent with your feelings, and find a way to address your concerns without being dramatic, hysterical, or getting mad at each other. Salvage your relationship with all your might if it's worth it to you and him. If it isn't, drop it and move on. Life is too short to waste even a second of it. At the end of the day, we all have faults. It's a matter of finding, or being with, that special person who has the audacity and gumption to accept us for who we are, not who he wants us to be. Good luck!
  • massbuildah

    Posts: 276

    Mar 18, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    Exactly, you have to be frank and honest. maybe he sees this reversal and maybe he doesn't. Push him to see just how much you want to share your love of fitness with him. Ask him why he's lost his motivation and what you can do to help him the way he helped you. Do everything you can, and if he is just not willing to make a move for you. Put it on the line. Once you have given all you have, tell him he needs to fish or cut bait. But remind him how he helped you first.