"It's just sex"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    Many times when discussing sex and sexual partners, guys will say, "oh whatever, it's just sex." I.e., having sex with people is really not a big deal, it's not all that its cracked out to be, it doesnt have to be a sign of any commitment.

    I'm withholding my opinion as it has changed and is still developing icon_smile.gif

    In general..... do you agree or disagree with the statement? Just curious... would be interesting to see how many people put agree vs. disagree

    go! icon_smile.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 17, 2011 6:55 PM GMT
    for me, no it's not

    I've not really had the situations presented where it would be disconnected for me
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    Mar 17, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    I don't have it, but I'm really indifferent towards people for whom it is a very ordinary non-event. So as long as it's not with me, have all the casual every day with different partner sex you want =D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2011 11:51 PM GMT
    "oh whatever, it's just sex."

    I always look for a connection, but it's no problem if there is none
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    Mar 18, 2011 12:04 AM GMT
    I'm a huge prude, raised in a Puritan colony, but its not "just sex" to me. And hearing the statement that "it's just sex" from a friend or romantic interest is a complete dealbreaker to continuing the friendship and/or my bumbling attempts at romance.

    I would rather have a platonic friend that knows absolutely nothing about Star Wars and Pokemon than one with such a cavalier attitude towards sex.

    #Puritan
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    Mar 18, 2011 1:16 AM GMT
    lol, ZbmwM5, it's usually just sex until one day the man comes (bad pun indeed) across someone who triggers more than just a sexual urge.

    For Bill and myself, it's never been just sex, and so it was easier for us to discover/find each other. For those where it is just sex, we take no issue. It's far far better for men to be upfront and open about it (just sex thanks) than hide it and end up hurting someone who thinks of it as more than just sex.

    The reverse is also true, by being upfront and open about it, the sex-only- please guys are less likely to be hurt by others wanting more than sex and getting angry when they feel they have been led on.
    -Doug
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 18, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    Every time I hear "it is just sex" I get reminded of how mankind, in particular men, have evolved so little or not at all! it is really really pathelic how shallow and primitive most men still are as a species! call me a prude but I am one of those who will not enjoy sex unless I have an emotional connection with my partner! pure sex is sooooooo over rated anyway! I've being in love many times and I can honestly say that is when sex have been really great!


    Leandro ♥
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    Mar 18, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    In general I start with the proposition that "it's only sex." To me that's the safest and most realistic approach. However, "it's only sex" becomes "it's more than just sex" when I meet someone with whom I share a special bond (which is extremely rare). With my boyfriend, it's love + physical attraction + sex + emotional connection + friendship + intimacy + n (etc., etc., etc.). So I guess it's person- and fact-specific. I'd dare say that having sex with someone you truly love is one of God's greatest gifts to mankind.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 18, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    jprichva said
    LEANDRO_NJ said it is really really pathelic how shallow and primitive most men still are as a species! call me a prude but I am one of those who will not enjoy sex unless I have an emotional connection with my partner!
    Leandro ♥

    No, I don't call you a prude.
    I call you needlessly judgemental. As you say, you are "one of those who will not enjoy sex, etc." meaning that you are aware that there ARE people who don't feel the same way.

    And then you suggest that you are better than they are. ("shallow" "pathetic").
    Was this really important to say? Can't you simply say that's not how you feel and leave it at that? Was the meanness truly an important part of your message?


    Thank you for your input and clarification! but it would be silly to assume that "my personal opinion" is a generalization or that it speaks for everyone else! I read countless comments on this forum on any subject, and never once have I ever interprete them as judgmental. I respect everyone's opinion thus feel no need to judge them or call them on it, as you took the freedom to do with mine!! your assumptions that I feel as if I am better then others is just that "your assumption" besides you don't know me to make that judgmental conclusion. The words "shallow" and "pathetic" were used to describe what to "me" feels like and towards those who just want me for sex without an interest of emotional intimacy. Now if you can't respect or understand that then is your right!!

    I am perfectly aware there are people who do not feel the same way I do, and even thou you already know that you decided to judge me anyway, with what intent? only you know that!


    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2011 6:54 AM GMT
    jprichva saidOy.


    I know right
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    Mar 18, 2011 10:40 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidThe tragic irony of it all is that gay men spend so much time looking for sex and then when it works to their advantage they dismiss their ongoing efforts with, "It's just sex." in order to release themselves from the inconvenience of having to exercise human decency or obligation.

    Well if it is just sex then why do you spend hours on manhunt or at the bars looking for a good lay? Or spend hours at the gym to look your best so that you can snag a better looking mattress buddy to play with?

    It is never just sex. Guys who say this will turn around and then later tell you that sex is a primal necessity like food, water or sleep.

    Guys are so full of shit.


    Adrien, you nailed it man. I couldnt agree more.

    The only thing id like to add is any two people can have sex & satisfy your desires & human needs. To have someone you love & care for & to make love to them takes the sex act to a whole higher realm of intimacy, love & passion.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 18, 2011 10:55 AM GMT
    Buyer's Remorse

    An Ohio Businessman writes a letter of apology to his teacher wife after he finally gets the gist of what the republicans and specifically Gov Kasich is doing in Ohio

    Dear Honey,

    I'm sorry.

    I am a conservative husband, belong to the Tea Party and I voted for John Kasich. I have been married to a Cleveland teacher for almost 14 years and my vote let her down.

    I apologize:

    For letting people tease you about having the summer off and not asking them to thank you for the tough days ahead that begin in early August. I know for a fact you work more hours in those 10 months than many people do in 12. All those hours are earned.

    For complaining that my Sunday is limited with you because you must work.

    For making you think you have to ask permission to buy a student socks, gloves and hats.

    For not understanding that you walk through a metal detector for work.

    For leaving dirty dishes in the sink [when you awoke] for your 4 a.m. work session. I should know you have to prepare.

    For thinking you took advantage of the taxpayers. Our governor continues to live off the taxpayer dole, not you.

    For counting the time and money you spend to buy school supplies.

    For not saying "thank you" enough for making the world and me better.

    I love you.

    Signed, sealed.

    http://maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/03/17/6287437-dear-honey-im-sorry-ohio-buyers-remorse
  • Avron88

    Posts: 136

    Mar 18, 2011 10:57 AM GMT
    Haven't read all the replies.... to many.

    Yes, sex is a big deal. It's not a casual thing to me.

    But I wouldn't let it ruin my relationship with a friend if I happened to "hook up" with him once.

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    Mar 18, 2011 11:42 AM GMT
    It's basically just the difference between sex and ~making love~

    You can attach emotions to it and it be something romantic that you share with a partner, or you could be lonely and needed to get your rocks off.

    I don't think sex is that big of a deal, because it's not a necessity like food or water, and losing my virginity (when I was 16) wasn't all that interesting or life-changing.
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    Mar 18, 2011 11:48 AM GMT
    DOMINUS saidI'd dare say that having sex with someone you truly love is one of God's greatest gifts to mankind.

    I'd have to disagree on this, because the guys who have fucked me the best have been one-timers (unfortunately), but all my other greatest memories are with the people I truly love.

    This totally just inspired me to start a topic about this kind of thing. icon_surprised.gif
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 18, 2011 12:35 PM GMT
    redbull said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidThe tragic irony of it all is that gay men spend so much time looking for sex and then when it works to their advantage they dismiss their ongoing efforts with, "It's just sex." in order to release themselves from the inconvenience of having to exercise human decency or obligation.

    Well if it is just sex then why do you spend hours on manhunt or at the bars looking for a good lay? Or spend hours at the gym to look your best so that you can snag a better looking mattress buddy to play with?

    It is never just sex. Guys who say this will turn around and then later tell you that sex is a primal necessity like food, water or sleep.

    Guys are so full of shit.


    Adrien, you nailed it man. I couldnt agree more.

    The only thing id like to add is any two people can have sex & satisfy your desires & human needs. To have someone you love & care for & to make love to them takes the sex act to a whole higher realm of intimacy, love & passion.



    Well said Brian! for those who have experienced real love and genuinely care for somoene know too well how much more satisfying the sex can be when those emotions you speak of are an integral part in the relationship!


    Leandro ♥
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    Mar 18, 2011 3:17 PM GMT
    My turn! lol. I think its important to strike a balance.

    I'm sure many of us have had our share of hookups..... they happen.... but at the same time also realize that these are generally very empty. I guess I make an effort to reserve 'sex sex' for people that I want to get to know intimately.

    But on the other hand, I remember losing my V card to this great guy a few years ago..... I had time to get to know him and really liked him, so in that way it was special. But I also remember feeling like, okay, and? This is fun but whats the huge deal? The room didnt burst in fireworks and I didn't really change, go into a cocoon and come out a butterfly.... HAHA. IDK, I guess my expectations weren't met. So in that way I can see people being like, 'oh its just sex.'

    With that being said, people saying that is inherently defensive. So.
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    Mar 18, 2011 4:07 PM GMT
    _ADA saidIt's basically just the difference between sex and ~making love~

    You can attach emotions to it and it be something romantic that you share with a partner, or you could be lonely and needed to get your rocks off.

    I don't think sex is that big of a deal, because it's not a necessity like food or water, and losing my virginity (when I was 16) wasn't all that interesting or life-changing.


    ^^ This. It's basically the same activity in two different contexts: one is to satisfy a natural bodily urge, the other is to share an intimate bond between people. To make an analogy, eating a piece of bread and sipping some wine in two different contexts: satisfying your hunger and thirst vs. a Christian receiving the body and blood of Christ. Both fucking and eating are things our body naturally urges us to do. Some people just don't feel the need to make EVERY meal or EVERY fuck session so sacred.
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    Mar 18, 2011 9:33 PM GMT
    Sex is a fun activity, that I enjoy having a lot.

    With my partner there is that connection that makes it very satisfying, however with a 'new' guy besides the fun there is the process of discovery and the chance of making a connection that could lead to a friendship.
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    Mar 18, 2011 9:42 PM GMT


    *wink* *wink* ... *nudge* *nudge*
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    Mar 18, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    it's just sex, unless you're in love. then, it's so much moreicon_smile.gif
  • awm55

    Posts: 619

    Mar 18, 2011 10:07 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidThe tragic irony of it all is that gay men spend so much time looking for sex and then when it works to their advantage they dismiss their ongoing efforts with, "It's just sex." in order to release themselves from the inconvenience of having to exercise human decency or obligation.

    Well if it is just sex then why do you spend hours on manhunt or at the bars looking for a good lay? Or spend hours at the gym to look your best so that you can snag a better looking mattress buddy to play with?

    It is never just sex. Guys who say this will turn around and then later tell you that sex is a primal necessity like food, water or sleep.

    Guys are so full of shit.


    This is so true.
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    Mar 18, 2011 11:19 PM GMT
    sooooo, let's start denigrating masturbation !

    because, honestly, it's just sex.
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    Mar 19, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    I used to believe sex between two humans meant something.
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    Mar 19, 2011 5:09 AM GMT
    yz250mxrida saidI used to believe sex between two humans meant something.

    It does, a great deal.

    For some it's different. Vive la difference, as it makes a full and three dimensional society. As long as we are open about what each of us are into, and not hide to avoid condemnation, the less likely we run aground on each others differences and get hurt, I think. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug