To Speak Up.....Or Shut Up..?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2011 1:37 AM GMT
    Hey guys...I need some advice. Here goes:

    A couple of months ago, a guy moved in the apartment in front of mine to help his older sister out with the rent. He's very much so a 4 wheeler driving, Jack Daniels drinking, tobacco dipping, redneck. He even has 'redneck' tattooed across his back.

    About a month after he moved in, a group of his around our complex were sitting outside chilling and drinking. He and I exchanged numbers. We ended up texting each other for a large part of the night. It eventually came out that I was bisexual. He told me that when he was younger there was a guy that lived with him and his family and they would swap bjs all the time. He told me that he was looking for another guy like that. He asked if I wanted to do something that night, and I turned him down. Two nights later, we were messing around in his room, but we couldn't finish because he freaked out when his sister woke up.

    A couple of weeks later, we were sitting beside each other (so close that I could feel the hair on his arm against my arm) on my sofa watching 4 wheeler videos on his new cell phone. The videos ended. We both walked outside. I went back in to fix myself a drink. When I walked back outside, he was gone. He txted me and said he thought I went in for the night. I txted and asked if he wanted to do something. He replied that he couldn't get up because he was jacking off. I asked why didn't he tell me that he was hard. He said he didn't know. I asked what he would have done if I had ripped his pants off of him when he was at my house and gave him head. He said he would have probably let me.

    It's gotten to the point where if something happens in his life, he ALWAYS calls or texts me to tell me about it. When I am at his apartment, and I leave, he always texts me to see if I am coming back or not. Sometimes we just go walking. We usually have deep, personal, intimate, conversations about our families, religion, and things like that. But he also likes to talk about all the girls that he's had sex with. I once asked him, what his sexuality was and he said that he didn't like labels. I asked him what he thought about me and he said I was cool just an average guy.

    We went to McDonald's yesterday for lunch. He made some kind of weird drink and let me taste it OUT OF HIS CUP. I have never known straight guys to allow other guys to drink after them.

    My question is: Is he into me? Should I tell him how I feel about him? A friend of mine said that until he tells me no then I can assume that he likes me.

    What do you guys think?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    Ask him. He'll tell you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    chillbrutha4u82 saidWhat do you guys think?



    Go for it if that's your type, but I didn't think Larry The Cable Guy was gay. At least I was hoping he wasn't.
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    Mar 19, 2011 3:38 AM GMT
    "watching 4 wheeler videos on his new cell phone"



    icon_razz.gif

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    Mar 19, 2011 3:40 AM GMT
    HeartRobb said
    chillbrutha4u82 saidWhat do you guys think?



    Go for it if that's your type, but I didn't think Larry The Cable Guy was gay. At least I was hoping he wasn't.


    You ever watch the movie "Deliverance" ? icon_eek.gif
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    Mar 19, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    turbobilly said"watching 4 wheeler videos on his new cell phone"



    icon_razz.gif




    Well, he did say, "He even has 'redneck' tattooed across his back."
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 19, 2011 3:46 AM GMT
    I don't think he really knows what he wants at this point. I think anything serious is out of the question... a friendship with sex is probably the best you can hope for at this point.
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    Mar 19, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI don't think he really knows what he wants at this point. I think anything serious is out of the question... a friendship with sex is probably the best you can hope for at this point.


    I've thought about that before. Personally, I have too much going on in my life right now to even consider anything serious or long term. Still a friend with benefits would be nice. icon_smile.gif

    What do you think about the drinking out of the same cup thing? Do straight guys usually do that?
  • SFGeoNinja

    Posts: 510

    Mar 19, 2011 5:04 AM GMT
    chillbrutha4u82 said
    HndsmKansan saidI don't think he really knows what he wants at this point. I think anything serious is out of the question... a friendship with sex is probably the best you can hope for at this point.


    I've thought about that before. Personally, I have too much going on in my life right now to even consider anything serious or long term. Still a friend with benefits would be nice. icon_smile.gif

    What do you think about the drinking out of the same cup thing? Do straight guys usually do that?


    No, straight redneck type guys generally don't do that icon_lol.gif. They generally don't text each other about what's going on in their lives either, having crazy deep intimate conversations of the type you're describing.

    It sounds like you want a bit more than a fuckbuddy, you want at least a little emotional commitment from this guy than what he expects. You should tell him how you feel, if you guys are as comfortable sharing feelings as you say then he will level with you either way. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
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    Mar 19, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    . . . Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction unless you would like to become another domestic violence statistic. . .

    . . . and the less said about "We went to McDonald's yesterday for lunch" the better . . .
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    Mar 19, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    davidp7 said
    chillbrutha4u82 said
    HndsmKansan saidI don't think he really knows what he wants at this point. I think anything serious is out of the question... a friendship with sex is probably the best you can hope for at this point.


    I've thought about that before. Personally, I have too much going on in my life right now to even consider anything serious or long term. Still a friend with benefits would be nice. icon_smile.gif

    What do you think about the drinking out of the same cup thing? Do straight guys usually do that?


    No, straight redneck type guys generally don't do that icon_lol.gif. They generally don't text each other about what's going on in their lives either, having crazy deep intimate conversations of the type you're describing.

    It sounds like you want a bit more than a fuckbuddy, you want at least a little emotional commitment from this guy than what he expects. You should tell him how you feel, if you guys are as comfortable sharing feelings as you say then he will level with you either way. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!


    What worries me is if I tell him, then things between us won't be light and fun anymore. He's a sagittarius. Honesty might make him run.
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    Mar 19, 2011 5:17 AM GMT
    noren said . . . Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction unless you would like to become another domestic violence statistic. . .

    . . . and the less said about "We went to McDonald's yesterday for lunch" the better . . .



    Please elaborate.
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    Mar 19, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    I am so confused about this "straight guys don't drink out of the same cup" thing. When did this truth prevail and how did I miss it in my 33 years on this earth?
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    Mar 19, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    noren said . . . Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction unless you would like to become another domestic violence statistic. . .

    . . . and the less said about "We went to McDonald's yesterday for lunch" the better . . .


    That's going to be for "special occasions"............no elaboration necessaryicon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 19, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    turbobilly said
    noren said . . . Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction unless you would like to become another domestic violence statistic. . .

    . . . and the less said about "We went to McDonald's yesterday for lunch" the better . . .


    That's going to be for "special occasions"............no elaboration necessaryicon_rolleyes.gif


    It's funny that you should mention "special occasions." When we are together it's like he's into me and I am into him. But outside of those moments, if I bring anything thing remotely intimate up or even give the slightest hint that I halfway give a damn about him, he either shuts down completely or changes the subject.
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    Mar 19, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    Just tell him what did you think.Don't do regret .
  • SFGeoNinja

    Posts: 510

    Mar 19, 2011 6:34 AM GMT
    chillbrutha4u82 said
    davidp7 said
    chillbrutha4u82 said
    HndsmKansan saidI don't think he really knows what he wants at this point. I think anything serious is out of the question... a friendship with sex is probably the best you can hope for at this point.


    I've thought about that before. Personally, I have too much going on in my life right now to even consider anything serious or long term. Still a friend with benefits would be nice. icon_smile.gif

    What do you think about the drinking out of the same cup thing? Do straight guys usually do that?


    No, straight redneck type guys generally don't do that icon_lol.gif. They generally don't text each other about what's going on in their lives either, having crazy deep intimate conversations of the type you're describing.

    It sounds like you want a bit more than a fuckbuddy, you want at least a little emotional commitment from this guy than what he expects. You should tell him how you feel, if you guys are as comfortable sharing feelings as you say then he will level with you either way. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!


    What worries me is if I tell him, then things between us won't be light and fun anymore. He's a sagittarius. Honesty might make him run.


    Then he'll run and he clearly won't be worth your time anymore. At least you'll know either way and won't be agonizing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2011 7:13 AM GMT
    Deliverance?

    "Squeal like a pig" "eeeeeeeeee".

    Hheheheheheheheheh
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2011 7:19 AM GMT
    davidp7 said
    chillbrutha4u82 said
    davidp7 said
    chillbrutha4u82 said
    HndsmKansan saidI don't think he really knows what he wants at this point. I think anything serious is out of the question... a friendship with sex is probably the best you can hope for at this point.


    I've thought about that before. Personally, I have too much going on in my life right now to even consider anything serious or long term. Still a friend with benefits would be nice. icon_smile.gif

    What do you think about the drinking out of the same cup thing? Do straight guys usually do that?


    No, straight redneck type guys generally don't do that icon_lol.gif. They generally don't text each other about what's going on in their lives either, having crazy deep intimate conversations of the type you're describing.

    It sounds like you want a bit more than a fuckbuddy, you want at least a little emotional commitment from this guy than what he expects. You should tell him how you feel, if you guys are as comfortable sharing feelings as you say then he will level with you either way. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!


    What worries me is if I tell him, then things between us won't be light and fun anymore. He's a sagittarius. Honesty might make him run.


    Then he'll run and he clearly won't be worth your time anymore. At least you'll know either way and won't be agonizing.


    I've thought about that. As a matter of fact, he just texted me. I felt like a lovesick, foolish teenager. Ugh. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 19, 2011 7:29 AM GMT
    chuckystud saidAsk him. He'll tell you.

    +1.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Mar 19, 2011 7:37 AM GMT
    Sadly, there's some stereotyping going on here. I hope you're ignoring the guys who don't think 4-wheeling guys can't be gay. OK, he doesn't identify as gay, but it seems obvious he's into you. But it seems like he's not looking for a deep intimate connection. You're friends, yes. He's said he's looking for a guy for bjs, a friend with benefits.

    Sometimes people don't want talk. They want action. Next time you guys are alone and comfortable sitting next to each other, start touching him. Rubbing his leg or back or neck. If he doesn't like it, he'll stop you.

    But something tells me he won't. Maybe he's expecting you to be the dominant one. The one doing the driving.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2011 7:40 AM GMT
    I agree with just asking him...

    ALSO
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2011 9:23 AM GMT
    Sounds like the guy is deep in the closet and does not know how to really come out. He talks about girls because he is deflecting and know you are bisexual *cough*gay*cough* but due to his upbrining does not want to be anything other then straight so tries to be that way. Find out what is wrong with being that non-existant thing you are and go from there. What good will telling him you like him do since he is alreayd uncomfortable with it. Not like he will start dating you.
  • charlieviiper...

    Posts: 328

    Mar 19, 2011 9:48 AM GMT
    Simon78928 saidSounds like the guy is deep in the closet and does not know how to really come out. He talks about girls because he is deflecting and know you are bisexual *cough*gay*cough* but due to his upbrining does not want to be anything other then straight so tries to be that way. Find out what is wrong with being that non-existant thing you are and go from there. What good will telling him you like him do since he is alreayd uncomfortable with it. Not like he will start dating you.


    whoa you should charge for your psychoanalysis icon_rolleyes.gif

    I don't know what to tell you, I think when the time comes, whatever happens will happen.

    About the drinking out of the cup thing, I think you're looking a bit too into it. My straight friends don't care who drinks out of their cup. I never saw exclusive-cup-drinking as an issue.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Mar 19, 2011 1:44 PM GMT
    dude, he is obvious not looking for a relationship but does want to have some fun. i say just go with the flow. tell him that you would like j/o with him. if it progresses further than so be it. but dude, you have to learn to go with the flow. oh yeah, straight guys do let other guys drink after them.