hello_imme saidI plan to have a kid or two within the next 3 years. Would that scare guys away and make me no longer bf material? I will never live with a guy again so im not sure how he would be affected by me having and raising a child. Thoughts please.......
OK I'm going to bite on this and probably get slammed but here it goes:
First, you're 25 years old. That's a great age to start a family and kudos to you for considering it however, saying you'll 'never' live with a guy again. Hmmm, never? What if you meet a guy that loves your kids (we'll get to that) and they love him and you love him and he loves you....oh wait Mr. BF, I'll never live with you because I've made my proclamation (and most likely were burned along the way). Just that statement gives me hesitation to wonder if 'a kid or two' is a wise move for you anytime in the near future.
Second, so you're interested in a bf but if you're not going to live with him and you're going to introduce children into your life, what exactly will he be? Sounds more like he'll be a FB and babysitter for you or at best playing second fiddle to your life. And what effect will this other person have on your kids?
Third, children are precious, I know because I have 3, the best 3 in the world, yes, I'm a tad bit bias on that statement. However, if you begin a relationship, despite the closeness to your children, a bf (potential spouse) eventually becomes your sole mate. He doesn't replace kids but does become your number one as he will endure (presumably) all your ups and down and remain with you (hopefully) for the remainder of your life. Your kids will be there but in a real partnership/relationship (ie: marriage) the spouse is number one. I should mention that this works better if you live together.
So I guess to answer your question I would have to say that I don't feel you're ready to have kids until you resolve some issues in your life. If you love kids, which it sounds like you do, then I think it would be great to one day have 'a kid or two' but, from someone who had 3, a solid relationship with a guy you live with and love, would make it a much better home, in my opinion, for those kids.