Could you fall in love with a guy who has a kid?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 10:06 AM GMT
    I plan to have a kid or two within the next 3 years. Would that scare guys away and make me no longer bf material? I will never live with a guy again so im not sure how he would be affected by me having and raising a child. Thoughts please.......
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    Mar 23, 2011 10:13 AM GMT
    I've been trying to get knocked up for years. Now that I'm almost 30, trisomy 21 prevalence increases. lol

    I actually like kids. No, I would not have a problem dating a guy with kids as long as I didn't take prevalence over them.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Mar 23, 2011 10:31 AM GMT
    Not a problem at all. I like guys who are fathers, which means they are responsible and mature. And I love kids. I am stepfather to two beautiful kids, daughter of 17 and son of 13. If that makes me less bf material, I honestly couldn't care less. There is more to life than obsession with muscles and perfect bodies...
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 23, 2011 10:52 AM GMT
    Of course I could fall in love with a guy who has a kid.
    But, I could never live with a guy who has a kid.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Mar 23, 2011 10:54 AM GMT
    Absolutely. Every man is unique.

    Peace,
    Bardy
  • bad_wolf

    Posts: 1002

    Mar 23, 2011 11:54 AM GMT
    Depends on the child - personally I can't stand undisciplined delinquents, if I can't get along with the kid I would doubt I could pursue anything with the man, they're a package deal.

    I don't see anything wrong it, and I disagree with opinions who say that it can't be done / shouldn't be done.

    All the best.
  • jperfit

    Posts: 593

    Mar 23, 2011 12:17 PM GMT
    Having a kid is great, I am so glad for my daughter, however it would be a relationship breaker because your kids r your 1st priorty but I would pic having a kid over a relationship any day.
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    Mar 23, 2011 12:19 PM GMT
    I totally could fall for a guy with a kid(S). Family is and always will be very important to me. Plus, there's something sexy about a built, masculine guy with a baby in his arms.
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    Mar 23, 2011 12:21 PM GMT
    yeah def.

    as long as he realizes im probably a shit father.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 12:33 PM GMT
    Easily.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 12:39 PM GMT
    Very easily
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 12:41 PM GMT
    Why should it matter unless the kid is Damian incarnate?

    DAMIAN, CHICO MALO Pictures, Images and Photos
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 1:34 PM GMT
    yes I could
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    Mar 23, 2011 1:42 PM GMT
    You don't want guys walking in and out of your childs life, building and rebuilding broken relationships at such an early start is no way to learn how to have a successful partnership. It might be better to find a stable partner and then adopt. Just sayin, not a judgement to single parents.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Mar 23, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    Absolutely i could fall for a guy with kids. Perhaps even more so given that he is a good father.
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    Mar 23, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    For me the question isn't could I fall in love with a guy who has a kid.... it's, could i LET myself fall in love with a guy who has a kid....

    And the answer to that right now is... no.

    In a few years I think that will change.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 1:51 PM GMT
    honestly, it would depend on the stage of their life, etc. it would definitely give me serious pause, but i wouldn't rule it out. there's a guy local to me who has a kid and is nice enough, but he's pretty much declared that he's only looking for husband material (understandable)...and doesn't really give you a chance to just be friends...so we've never gone out

    my biggest pause is that i've come 2nd or lower alot of times in my life, and i'm unlikely to commit to someone where i know upfront i'm way down the list. i'm not faulting them, but if i put someone first in my life, i can't be an optional distraction to them.

    it could happen tho

    and no, i don't expect that response to make me any friends
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    Mar 23, 2011 1:52 PM GMT
    ZbmwM5 saidFor me the question isn't could I fall in love with a guy who has a kid.... it's, could i LET myself fall in love with a guy who has a kid....


    This.

    I don't want kids now or ever. So it'd be unrealistic to pursue anything with a guy who already has or who eventually wants children.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    No, its kind of cute when a guy has a kid.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Mar 23, 2011 2:10 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidWhy should it matter unless the kid is Damian incarnate?

    DAMIAN, CHICO MALO Pictures, Images and Photos


    Not funny.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    I love kid so I have no issue ever loving someone who has kids of there own
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Mar 23, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    I like kids. Might wanna have one someday. Wouldn't mind dating someone who had one. I like good Dads. It says a lot about a guy and his priorities. Especially so if it was planned.
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    Mar 23, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    hello_imme saidI plan to have a kid or two within the next 3 years. Would that scare guys away and make me no longer bf material? I will never live with a guy again so im not sure how he would be affected by me having and raising a child. Thoughts please.......


    OK I'm going to bite on this and probably get slammed but here it goes:

    First, you're 25 years old. That's a great age to start a family and kudos to you for considering it however, saying you'll 'never' live with a guy again. Hmmm, never? What if you meet a guy that loves your kids (we'll get to that) and they love him and you love him and he loves you....oh wait Mr. BF, I'll never live with you because I've made my proclamation (and most likely were burned along the way). Just that statement gives me hesitation to wonder if 'a kid or two' is a wise move for you anytime in the near future.

    Second, so you're interested in a bf but if you're not going to live with him and you're going to introduce children into your life, what exactly will he be? Sounds more like he'll be a FB and babysitter for you or at best playing second fiddle to your life. And what effect will this other person have on your kids?

    Third, children are precious, I know because I have 3, the best 3 in the world, yes, I'm a tad bit bias on that statement. However, if you begin a relationship, despite the closeness to your children, a bf (potential spouse) eventually becomes your sole mate. He doesn't replace kids but does become your number one as he will endure (presumably) all your ups and down and remain with you (hopefully) for the remainder of your life. Your kids will be there but in a real partnership/relationship (ie: marriage) the spouse is number one. I should mention that this works better if you live together.

    So I guess to answer your question I would have to say that I don't feel you're ready to have kids until you resolve some issues in your life. If you love kids, which it sounds like you do, then I think it would be great to one day have 'a kid or two' but, from someone who had 3, a solid relationship with a guy you live with and love, would make it a much better home, in my opinion, for those kids.

  • BeerIsYummy

    Posts: 65

    Mar 23, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    ZbmwM5 saidFor me the question isn't could I fall in love with a guy who has a kid.... it's, could i LET myself fall in love with a guy who has a kid....



    I agree with this. I've never been interested in having a child and, in general, I don't have any paternal instincts. So it would be really selfish of me to get into a relationship with someone who had a child. It wouldn't be fair to the child for me to enter into a parenting role knowing that I'd be disinterested in him or her.
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    Mar 23, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    I've been a father for 4 years and nothing in this world is better than the feeling and the love of a child. If a guy wants in my life to enjoy the joy then great, if not no sweat because she fulfills a lot of love.