Asking your partner to get tested for STDS.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    I've never had to do this yet since I've only had one boyfriend but soon after we had unprotected sex I became really paranoid. I know it was stupid and dumb and really, really bad to have unprotected sex....but is it even more paranoid to ask every future boyfriend to get tested?

    I've learned my lesson of being scared out of my mind to always use a condom now... but there's just so much shit out there you can still get it's scary. Obviously, the more 'out there' STDS you can see (Genital Warts, sores, and other nasty shit); But most people with STDS people don't show symptoms, don't know they have it or the symptoms are hidden.

    I'm really considering asking every future boyfriend to get tested together if we want to be intimate. Is this insane?

    I want to be safe and clean, and I date guys and have sex with guys that I feel are the same but like they say: "you have sex with every single person they have had sex with before."

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    Mar 24, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    Dude go for it, I'm sure they won't mind and if they do get out of there asap. Your well being is more important than few minutes of pleasure.
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    Mar 24, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    In a world where it is very easy to have sex under the covers with any man, getting tested is of utmost importance, if not the most crucial aspect when it comes to having sex as a gay man.

    A person can give you the impression that they only have sex with you and then behind your back can be fucking the guy at the gas station.


    For every action there is a consequence.

    Yes you should get you and your partner tested before you engage in barebacking (for me, it is even more strict - but we won`t go there).

    Why would you want to increase your risk at obtaining an STI or STD?

    Play it as safe as you can so you don`t deal with life-threatening consequences.

  • joarky123

    Posts: 264

    Mar 24, 2011 12:52 AM GMT
    consider that a deal breaker for yours truly.

    in certain instances that might not be possible (i.e. one night stands), but if you dont sleep around like that, and your partner truly cares about you, it shouldn't matter.

    ask away. better safe than sorry.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    It absolutely isn't paranoid to ask. There are so many STDs floating around there.

    Pretty much once we become officially together and are trying to start a meaningful relationship together, I am definitely going to ask for us to go get tested. I am going to suggest that we both go get tested together so that we can have some assurance that we are both STD free. He better be ok with it too.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Mar 24, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    listen, if you have a bf and you want to go bareback than you should ask them to get tested. if they have a problem with it than fuck em they aren't the guy for you.
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    Mar 24, 2011 2:03 AM GMT
    KSUOWL saidIt absolutely isn't paranoid to ask. There are so many STDs floating around there.

    Pretty much once we become officially together and are trying to start a meaningful relationship together, I am definitely going to ask for us to go get tested. I am going to suggest that we both go get tested together so that we can have some assurance that we are both STD free. He better be ok with it too.



    "im definitely going to ask for us to go get tested".

    multiple personalities doesn't count here. icon_wink.gif


    i keed, i keed. lol icon_lol.gificon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2011 2:03 AM GMT
    The smart way to do it... get it out in the open. Not a thing wrong with that.
  • BoostToChase

    Posts: 103

    Mar 24, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    Its your life. If you think it warrants asking for a test, ask for the test. Like someone already said, if they won't get tested they aren't worth your time.
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    Mar 24, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    michalchi29 saidDude go for it, I'm sure they won't mind and if they do get out of there asap. Your well being is more important than few minutes of pleasure.


    ^^This^^
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    Mar 24, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    hold_it_against_me said
    KSUOWL saidIt absolutely isn't paranoid to ask. There are so many STDs floating around there.

    Pretty much once we become officially together and are trying to start a meaningful relationship together, I am definitely going to ask for us to go get tested. I am going to suggest that we both go get tested together so that we can have some assurance that we are both STD free. He better be ok with it too.



    "im definitely going to ask for us to go get tested".

    multiple personalities doesn't count here. icon_wink.gif


    i keed, i keed. lol icon_lol.gificon_razz.gif


    That reminds me. If you are going to be my boyfriend, go get tested biatch so we can fuck like bunnies icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2011 8:33 PM GMT
    LOL. done. wheres your end of the deal
    icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2011 8:38 PM GMT
    I don't think it is unreasonable but rather than ask him to go get tested it would probably be wise to suggest you both go and get tested.

    If I started dating someone and they asked me to go I would probably wonder "well what about you, jackass. am i supposed to just trust you?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2011 8:42 PM GMT
    hold_it_against_me saidLOL. done. wheres your end of the deal
    icon_twisted.gif


    Ok I will get it done today. Be in my bedroom by tonight.. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    KSUOWL said
    hold_it_against_me saidLOL. done. wheres your end of the deal
    icon_twisted.gif


    Ok I will get it done today. Be in my bedroom by tonight.. icon_biggrin.gif


    are you tryin to smoosh.


    lol (jersey shore reference)
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    Mar 25, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIn an ideal world, you should be able to trust your partner. But men can be hos.

    I think it is a good idea to get tested together. You could both treat it like a date. icon_razz.gif


    I mean that sincerely.


    Hahahah. This made me giggle.

    Non-existent boyfriend: "So what do you wanna do tonight?"

    Me: "I was thinking go get some lunch and watch a movie then go get tested for STDS?"

    Non-existent boyfriend: "Sounds fun!"

    I feel better now though to ask... and like everyone said fuck them if they say no. Wahoo. icon_smile.gif
  • thezak

    Posts: 7

    Mar 30, 2011 6:44 AM GMT
    ...It absolutely isn't paranoid to ask. There are so many STDs floating around there.

    Pretty much once we become officially together and are trying to start a meaningful relationship together, I am definitely going to ask for us to go get tested. I am going to suggest that we both go get tested together so that we can have some assurance that we are both STD free. He better be ok with it too.


    Is "officially together" a euphemism for "we've had sex"?
  • DeadLiftr

    Posts: 33

    Mar 31, 2011 8:02 PM GMT
    hold_it_against_me said
    KSUOWL said
    hold_it_against_me saidLOL. done. wheres your end of the deal
    icon_twisted.gif


    Ok I will get it done today. Be in my bedroom by tonight.. icon_biggrin.gif


    are you tryin to smoosh.


    lol (jersey shore reference)




    Gotta get tested before you're DTF
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Mar 31, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    Personally, wether or not i might think i have something, i get tested regularly. when it comes to unprotected sex with bf's, well, with all my exes, we agreed that'd we'd wait three months into the relationship and then both get tested. if you do that, and you trust the guy and you're in a monogamous relationship then enjoy