Boyfriends

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Mar 24, 2011 6:55 AM GMT
    Can anyone who has had a boyfriend or has one now explain the process of how you went from the 1st date to being boyfriends? Just wonderin how it works for other people icon_razz.gif

    Was there one day or night that you decided on becoming more than friends? Did you even start as friends? Or did it just happen overtime and you accepted it, but didn't really have a "talk"?
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    Mar 24, 2011 7:03 AM GMT
    3 months of dating then near the end we just got the hint that it would work for some while, so we went ahead and declared.

    1st date started at Timothy's, had a very casual meet-up over coffee then we went to the movies.

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    Mar 24, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    Joeyphx444 saidCan anyone who has had a boyfriend or has one now explain the process of how you went from the 1st date to being boyfriends? Just wonderin how it works for other people icon_razz.gif

    Was there one day or night that you decided on becoming more than friends? Did you even start as friends? Or did it just happen overtime and you accepted it, but didn't really have a "talk"?


    The answer REALLY???? Slow down first... Then when he is honest enough to talk about his feelings for Truth he will try to take them out on you sexually. That is when your guard needs to go up OKAY THAT IS NATURE. Don't run, and don't hide because the Spirit is on your side. Enjoy the masculine pleasure as though you can retrace the decision YOU MADE to be a man but, that is okay cause God forgives but it is RIGHT NOW THAT YOU KNOW HE IS ON YOUR SIDE BECAUSE HE WILL NOT IGNORE YOUR CRY FOR HELP!!!! So you experience the fantasy and the only one left though is reality of yourself and you first think it is once again time to RUN AND RUN AGAIN without realizing it might be time to ask a mentor for help. Just reach your hand out because love CANNOT be raped by love. Some people KID AND YES YOU BETTER ACCEPT THAT TERM, KID... IS HERE TO NOT HURT YOU if you could only realize how much the most of us are on your side. I hope when that day comes you remember HOW FUCKING MANY OF US ARE ON YOUR SIDE!!!! I only wish that again and again and again.. At least if nobody, let me be on your side... You need to realize all the ones you have left behind.
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    Mar 24, 2011 10:05 AM GMT
    Joeyphx444 saidCan anyone who has had a boyfriend or has one now explain the process of how you went from the 1st date to being boyfriends? Just wonderin how it works for other people icon_razz.gif

    Was there one day or night that you decided on becoming more than friends? Did you even start as friends? Or did it just happen overtime and you accepted it, but didn't really have a "talk"?


    Didn't know it was coming so it came and went... Now it is a whole different story. I learned from even their mistakes so that I could survive. There are a lot of levels of relationship but, brother, there is ONLY ONE LEVEL OF LOVE... You may have to accept the fact that your body wants to change even though your mind does not want to. In the end, change is worth it. Imagine being held while another hears you cry rather than being fucked and left with all the loneliness? I have been held by the most amazing brothers for literally hours when all I could do is cry and the bonding is nothing like the kind of tears that will dry you out and leave you in lust...
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    Mar 24, 2011 11:06 AM GMT
    i met my boyfriend online....we talked on the phone/text/online for a lil over a month; over that month i got to know him pretty well.
    pre-halloween day, i decided to stay in to take a break from all the partying (for once), but i still ended up drinking a bit more than I had intended to...I called him up and asked him to go eat somewhere cuz I was starving and then he decided we should go see a movie, and unknowingly, in my not 100% normal state-of-mind, we had our first date! haha

    after that, we just hung out a lot, went on more dates, and eventually we were in a relationship, and still are..4 months and still going strong
  • gallus81

    Posts: 350

    Mar 24, 2011 11:45 AM GMT
    my boyfriend and I, of around a year or so, run by the mantra "let's just see what happens" ... and so far it's been a good 12 months.
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    Mar 24, 2011 1:15 PM GMT
    Relationships have a mind of their own. Some relationships develop early, and others take time. I don't really think you can control the timing of it. It depends on the people involved, the intensity of their feelings, and their particular situation. Every relationship is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach upon which people can rely for guidance.
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    Mar 24, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidRelationships have a mind of their own. Some relationships develop early, and others take time. I don't really think you can control the timing of it. It depends on the people involved, the intensity of their feelings, and their particular situation. Every relationship is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach upon which people can rely for guidance.


    I really like this answer.
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    Mar 24, 2011 11:15 PM GMT
    My boyfriend and I started hanging out when I needed an escape from a bad roommate situation. We'd go for walks around campus and talk.

    We started hanging out on the weekends, and really got to know each other.

    I invited him to a few work functions (camping w00t!), and had a blast. On the second camping trip with my coworkers everything just kinda clicked into place.

    It's not so much about deciding if you're dating, it's the sudden realization that you are.
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    Mar 24, 2011 11:18 PM GMT
    Had gone on a few dates, had a good time together, were lying in bed one night and I told him that I enjoyed spending time with him and asked him if he would like to take it to the next level, he said yes and we were boyfriends.
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:33 AM GMT
    We dated for about two months. At those two months we saw each other frequently about 2-3 times a week, plus weekend stayovers. Some time in the 3rd month I told him that I love him and I am in love with him. He didn't say anything until a few days later that he loves me too. After the "I love yous" we started calling each other bfs. Not before that though.
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:54 AM GMT
    5 yr relationship -- my advice is don't write anyone off for silly stuff. mentally refrain from judgments about the guy, the relationship or the future (unless anything extraordinary happens) until a few months pass and you've really had a chance to get to know each other. its my observation that too many couples start off fine and then somebody says this isnt working out, and it's over something stupid or minor or a misunderstanding...and then whine about not having a bf!
    just wait and let it play out. and good luck.icon_smile.gif
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 25, 2011 1:09 AM GMT
    First off you have have to spend time together. Second you need to let some of the sex and lust haze burn off, because after it does you start to see the real guy come out. I think when your dating a guy, you have to hangout together long enough to see the quirks and habits that will either make you run for the hills, or make you stick around to see how things might turn out. Third, keep an open mind, because he's also doing the same thing on his end.
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    Mar 25, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    One thing leads to another.

    If you both enjoy your first date, chances are you'll have a second date. Dates get repeated for a while. You visit his place....he visits yours. He meets your friends...you meet his. You find out about each other's lives.

    Pretty soon, you get a fairly good 360 degree view of each other. The sex is good and getting even better. You think of him all the time. All good.

    But pay attention to his negatives...red flags like drugs, closeted, selfishness, obnoxious friends, inability to keep commitments, etc. They are easy to hide or minimize in the first few months. Everybody has negatives...you just need to ask yourself what you think his are, and if you can live with them in the long term.

    Ask yourself what's important to YOU. If you make 25 grand a year, and he has expensive tastes, you need to sit down and have a discussion about money and lifestyle. Otherwise, you're going to wind up in debt, and he'll eventually conclude things aren't working for him either. Be honest. If he really likes you, he'll learn to bank his extra money and enjoy cheap dates. It's called COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE. All good relationships have it.

    Which points to the ultimate reason for a relationship...LOVE. Your love for each other should trump everything else in the world. Family. Jobs. Friends. Material possessions. Doesn't mean everything else is ignored...but you will know in your heart how important you are to each other. It takes a long time to fully know each other. I know a couple who have been together for 43 years...they say that it takes a good 10 years before you really know somebody. If all works out, you'll eventually consider each other...a FAMILY.
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    Mar 25, 2011 1:41 AM GMT
    I've already written a couple times how we met. Last October was 18 years. My, oh my.. it doesn't seem possible. It has gone by so quickly.... anyway... Ours was a whirlwind. He came home with me after the first date. We spent the night together and the next day. It wasn't long at all before we both knew that we were already exclusive and I never even noticed when it happened.

    We never had a discussion about "next level" or anything like that. One night we were lying in bed. I knew I would be moving out of my place in about 4 to 6 weeks. As we were spooning, he asked if I knew where I was moving. I told him I hadn't decided. He said, "You should just move in here." I was taken aback. I wasn't expecting it. I asked him if he was serious. He informed me that he would not have said it if he wasn't serious.

    I moved in. We've been together since.

    It has already been said that relationships move at different speeds depending on the two people involved. If you both have no serious baggage, no hangups, and no bs, it may happen quicker. But.. never rush it. Let it happen, if it is to happen. Just enjoy it.