Ever put your foot in your mouth?

  • highbrow004

    Posts: 20

    Mar 24, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    Before anyone asks: no I'm not a fetishist and I'm not trying to convince anyone that sucking on the piggies is in any way sexually arousing (but I've never tried it, so who knows).

    So I'm out at the (straight) bar with some coworkers-turned-friends. We're enjoying ourselves: it's been a stressful week and we're celebrating our success. I've had a few drinks to lay waste to a majority of my social inhibitions and then the first attractive dude I've seen all night walks in the bar.

    He's not alone, in fact he's walked in with two very pretty girls. Being the drunk over-analyst I am, I think "dude's gotta be gay, no straight guy goes out with two hot girls like that!" I know, infallible logic, right?

    Being the guy that I am, I get it in my head that I'm going to get this guys number. But we are in a straight bar, so I can't just walk up and talk to him. I decide to get to him through his women.

    By this time, I'm a few more drinks in, and my judgement isnt the best, but it's time to make my move. One of his gal pals happens to be waiting for a drink at the bar: easy pray.

    I approach her - tap on the shoulder.
    She whips around to see who dared.
    Not wanting to cause a scene, I mutter "Can you be discreet?"
    A look of terror/disgust. "No" She whips back around.

    Crash and burn. It only took me a second to realize how creepy she must have thought I was. Haha, can you be discreet?!? I'd be creeped out. Needless to say, I went home without a (guys) number that night.

    Anyways, wanna know if any of you guys have similarly embarrassing failed pickup stories. Let's hear 'em.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    My failed pick-up story: I was riding around with some dude in my pick-up truck on a windy gravel road in the boonies. We stopped off in a logging trail so we could fool around. After fooling around, the truck wouldn't start...had to walk 10 miles home and get the car to jump the battery.

    Don't ya hate it when that happens?
  • highbrow004

    Posts: 20

    Mar 24, 2011 1:42 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidMy failed pick-up story: I was riding around with some dude in my pick-up truck on a windy gravel road in the boonies. We stopped off in a logging trail so we could fool around. After fooling around, the truck wouldn't start...had to walk 10 miles home and get the car to jump the battery.

    Don't ya hate it when that happens?


    Sounds like you already got what you wanted. Haha.
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    Mar 24, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    highbrow004 said
    paulflexes saidMy failed pick-up story: I was riding around with some dude in my pick-up truck on a windy gravel road in the boonies. We stopped off in a logging trail so we could fool around. After fooling around, the truck wouldn't start...had to walk 10 miles home and get the car to jump the battery.

    Don't ya hate it when that happens?


    Sounds like you already got what you wanted. Haha.
    Yeah, but the pick-up still failed. icon_lol.gif
  • highbrow004

    Posts: 20

    Mar 24, 2011 1:54 PM GMT
    Oh wow. That went completely over my head. Bravo. icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 24, 2011 4:13 PM GMT
    Now that deserves an award... Funny shit. I can only imagine what she told her friendsicon_lol.gif
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    Mar 24, 2011 4:34 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    highbrow004 said
    paulflexes saidMy failed pick-up story: I was riding around with some dude in my pick-up truck on a windy gravel road in the boonies. We stopped off in a logging trail so we could fool around. After fooling around, the truck wouldn't start...had to walk 10 miles home and get the car to jump the battery.

    Don't ya hate it when that happens?


    Sounds like you already got what you wanted. Haha.
    Yeah, but the pick-up still failed. icon_lol.gif
    Paul.... they failed when you were up here too.. nuthin new.. LMAO
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2011 4:55 PM GMT
    My entire fucking life is me putting my foot in my mouth. I might as well just suffocate myself with it and be done with the whole thing.
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    Mar 24, 2011 5:17 PM GMT
    I do it all the time... I forget who the original quoter was but, better to stand for something than fall for everything.
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    Mar 24, 2011 5:20 PM GMT
    hahhahahahahaa i do that all the time.

    it's just right when i tap them on the shoulders i immediately go into the gayest possible stance, smile and when they turn around i say "WAIT! I'm not creepy i'm just gay."

    they usually smile...and you talk fast. win!
  • highbrow004

    Posts: 20

    Mar 24, 2011 5:26 PM GMT
    jayyp15 saidhahhahahahahaa i do that all the time.

    it's just right when i tap them on the shoulders i immediately go into the gayest possible stance, smile and when they turn around i say "WAIT! I'm not creepy i'm just gay."

    they usually smile...and you talk fast. win!


    Problem is, I can't pull off gay voice/stance effectively. It just looks/sounds like I'm making fun. I can't even imagine a DRUNKEN gay voice. The bar would clear.