Is it possible to fall out of love...?

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 24, 2011 11:12 PM GMT
    GayLove-1.gif

    I think that most of us have fallen in love before with someone but whether it was truly love or just infatuation...who knows? Do you believe that once in love you can ever fall "out" of love with someone?
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    Mar 24, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    yessum
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    Mar 24, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    A friend of mine whom has had a very happy marriage going on nine years, told me her and her husband fall out of love all the time. Fortunately, they just don't do it at the same time.

    This is a very true statement. We all have urges, desires, thoughts of being with someone else. Acting on them is a different story and requires communication.

    It's natural to fall out of love.
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    yes
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:10 AM GMT
    Is it possible to fall out of love...?

    Of course. Just as it's possible to remain in love with someone, for your entire life.

    Which you experience isn't easy to predict, nor explain why. But either can happen.

    I've seen them both, I've lived them both. Do you have something you want to share with us?
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Yep. The one relationship I ended long time ago was for that very reason.
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:39 AM GMT
    cold saidTo me, love is frequently an enduring feeling that can't be lost, but being 'in love' is definitely something you can fall in and out of.
    +1
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:50 AM GMT
    ErikTaurean saidYep. The one relationship I ended long time ago was for that very reason.

    I didn't know that, one of my oldest friends here. I honestly just shed a tear for you.

    Naturally I don't know who fell out of love with whom, nor is it important that I know. For a gay man, I am surprisingly uninterested in prying into the private lives of others. Except that I always wish you, Erik, the best.

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 25, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    I believe that over the course of a relationship you learn about another individual and depending upon what you learn you either choose to remain with the person or decide not to. I agree with hauptstimme, it's very natural to fall out of love.
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    Mar 25, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    Hmmm, Ive never really done it, but I suppose its possible
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    Mar 25, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    Only if you are emotionally barren... lol
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 25, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    When it comes to the death of love, it’s not a matter of falling as much as it’s a matter of doing or failing to do.


    Leandro ♥
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    Mar 25, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    cold saidTo me, love is frequently an enduring feeling that can't be lost, but being 'in love' is definitely something you can fall in and out of.


    My sentiments exactly.
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    Mar 25, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    When people fall out of love, is it because both are two comfortable with each other to the point, that there is no more mystery and excitement? If there are not common interests and goals in place, the fresh meat is hard to pass up it seems. New people tend to add sparks of interest and excitement into our lives. However, the grass may not be necessarily greener on the otherside.
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    Mar 25, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    cold saidTo me, love is frequently an enduring feeling that can't be lost, but being 'in love' is definitely something you can fall in and out of.
    +1



    +10
  • laguna07

    Posts: 124

    Mar 25, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    YES, DEFINITELY!
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Mar 25, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    Yes, I fall out of love with my ex bf...to the point where I couldn't stand him anymore, so we finally broke up. Thank god for that. Good divorce is better than a bad marriage.
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    Mar 25, 2011 5:12 AM GMT
    rjb2001 saidWhen people fall out of love, is it because both are two comfortable with each other to the point, that there is no more mystery and excitement? If there are not common interests and goals in place, the fresh meat is hard to pass up it seems. New people tend to add sparks of interest and excitement into our lives. However, the grass may not be necessarily greener on the otherside.


    This is why I still don't live with my bf even after 7 years. When you live together you lose that mystery. Even if we end up living together in the future I'm gonna insist that I have my own room. When we feel like it he can sleepover on my bed or I can sleepover on his bed. If we don't feel like it we can just sleep on our own bed.
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    Mar 25, 2011 5:38 AM GMT
    If you can fall in love then, yes, you can fall out it. Time and situations have all the answers you seek in this matter.
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Mar 25, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    It is inevitable that the early period of a relationship characterized by what psychologists call "limerance" wears off. During this early period the brain produces chemicals that essentially make you high. When these go away you are either left with a feeling of comfort and well being (but not really the rush) or no feelings at all (or maybe even revulsion). This is why people who chase that felling of being high on love behave like crack-heads chasing that high with one relationship after another. Part of being a grown up is knowing that the initial rush will wear off and basing the prospects for the relationship on the feelings that remain after a year or so rather than the first two weeks.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Mar 25, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    I think of couples who have experienced the tragic event, such as losing a child, and then part ways. So I suppose love can be lost.

    Peace,
    Bardy
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    Yes, I fell in love once before... To the wrong guy. Distance + Time = falling out of love.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Mar 25, 2011 12:35 PM GMT
    yes you can
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Mar 25, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    Sadly yes, but it is always fun falling in love with someone again. That is of course they feel the same way.
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    Mar 25, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    Cityaznguy saidThis is why I still don't live with my bf even after 7 years. When you live together you lose that mystery. Even if we end up living together in the future I'm gonna insist that I have my own room. When we feel like it he can sleepover on my bed or I can sleepover on his bed. If we don't feel like it we can just sleep on our own bed.

    I've known partners who lived apart, in the same city. Partly for the reason you state, and also, quite frankly, for the practical consideration of neither of them wanting to give up a valuable downtown place each had.

    I know 2 other guys who've been a couple for 21 years, own a house together, but sleep in separate bedrooms. The practical issue there is that one snores and is a restless sleeper - they even keep both bedroom doors closed because he's so noisy. They only share a bed for a romp, or when house guests stay over and need an extra bedroom.

    And both examples I mentioned are loving & close couples, that I'm sure will finish their lives together. In fact, among our friends there are more very long-term gay couples, up in the decades, than singles and short-term. At only 4 years ourselves we're considered the "newlyweds" of the bunch (both of us starting over after the death of a partner, which proves that can be done, too).

    With those and other experiences to go by, I know gay love can be both permanent for some and passing for others, sincere with one couple and shallow with another. What you get depends on you, on him, and perhaps a little role of the dice.