Unhappy Again :( Any advice?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    I've just turned 18. I'm 7 grand in debt. My boyfriend thinks i'm pathetic. I can't find a full time job, and im working casualy at maccas, so I'm going crazy cuz it' so shit. All my friends are pathetic and I still havn't got my lisence after having 4 cars trying to get it for the only person who can teach me movd away!

    Any advice? I just feel like shit... And everytime I try do something I just getfucking shu down again! I need money! Badly! But I also want to go back to school, but I can't afford it! And im afraid ill be too old if I do by the time i get the money!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    My advice is to stay positive and optimistic. Your luck will change eventually. You're still very young and you will have plenty of great opportunities. Best of luck!
  • swedeinusa

    Posts: 285

    Mar 25, 2011 5:09 PM GMT
    Go for a jog. Take a shower. Take a nap. Wake up. Evaluate life when you're less stressed.
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    Mar 25, 2011 5:18 PM GMT
    Beneim saidI've just turned 18. I'm 7 grand in debt.
    And we wonder how we got this way............icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 25, 2011 5:18 PM GMT
    You'll never be too old to go to school. I'm 26 and I'm starting my first term in a week. And work out! If you can get your heart rate up to 190 for 20 minutes the endorphins produced last 36 hours, it'll most definitely put you in a better mood.
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    Mar 25, 2011 5:22 PM GMT
    Where/how did you tally up 7 grand in debt?
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    Mar 25, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    Clean your bathroom. Fix up your bedroom. Wash your car. Start baking some fudge brownies. Trust me it does wonders. icon_eek.gif Once your done with that, come over and do the same for me. I'll pay you for the services. icon_lol.gif ok jk

    Well, I've never thought about it much but subliminally the thought is 'creation' and 'accomplishment'. Which gives you a sense of good mood. So that's why you may hear or see some people who are overtly depressed start cleaning shit and feel better the next day.
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    Mar 25, 2011 9:04 PM GMT
    Being 18 is rough. You are expected to be a "grown-up" but still have a lot of "kid" emotions. That doesn't make it any easier for you, I know. Tell yourself that you are NOT the only 18 year old who feels like that.
    I'd suggest you accomplish one thing, for example, getting your license. Surely not only one person can teach you how to drive. There are driving schools if you can manage it. My Dad was never able to teach me to drive, got too nervous (with good reason!), so when I was 19 my uncle taught me.
    Anyhow, if you get one thing done, you are going to feel better about yourself. And if you can't, chalk it up to experience or a bad year and try something else.
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    Mar 25, 2011 10:26 PM GMT
    Beneim saidI've just turned 18. I'm 7 grand in debt. My boyfriend thinks i'm pathetic.
    I think your boyfriend is right.
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    Mar 25, 2011 11:54 PM GMT
    ....eh, heard of worse situations....good luck though :i
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    Mar 26, 2011 12:06 AM GMT
    you all are so catty hahaha...saying you've seen worse, blah blah...not the time imo!
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    Mar 26, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Yeah, take it a step at a time, and don't beat yourself up if you don't get instant results or you experience setbacks. Everyone screws up when they're young. Debts do get resolved...if you have to pay a little out of your check every week, then do that. You're never too young to start saving money even when you're working a low wage job. And you're never too old to do anything as long as you have the drive to do it. People go back to school all the time in all stages of life, the advantage to going back to school at a later time is you typically know what you really want by that point. Don't let that stop you.
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    Mar 26, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    Don't stress. You're only 18 and life is often crappy at that age. The problems you described will go away.

    Keep looking for a full time job

    Find nicer friends, they are out there

    Work out, it will definitely make you feel better

    Make sure your place is clean and neat, believe it or not that helps your mood

    Think about the good things you have going for you. All I know is that you are cute, you're young, you're healthy, you live in a cool place and you have a whole life to look forward to. Those are some very good things!! I'm sure there's a lot more too! icon_biggrin.gif

  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Mar 26, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    swedeinmiami saidGo for a jog. Take a shower. Take a nap. Wake up. Evaluate life when you're less stressed.


    Actually... the jog advice this dude gave ya works like a charm....When I'm stressed I'll strap on my running shoes and head for the trails near my home....Try to keep those stressful feelings and ideas out of your head and focus on your breathing...the trail ahead of ya...your surroundings....BUD
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    Mar 26, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    Beneim saidI've just turned 18.


    So you signed up at this site while still underage >=/
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    Mar 26, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    Beneim saidI've just turned 18. I'm 7 grand in debt. My boyfriend thinks i'm pathetic. I can't find a full time job, and im working casualy at maccas, so I'm going crazy cuz it' so shit. All my friends are pathetic and I still havn't got my lisence after having 4 cars trying to get it for the only person who can teach me movd away!

    Any advice? I just feel like shit... And everytime I try do something I just getfucking shu down again! I need money! Badly! But I also want to go back to school, but I can't afford it! And im afraid ill be too old if I do by the time i get the money!



    In another thread, someone gave some advice and although it may lack any sensitivity, I think it is fitting for your situation you have desribed:

    Beneim saidNo offence, but get over it lol.



    Oh, wait. It was you that said that! sorry lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2011 2:05 PM GMT
    Welcome to life as an adult. It's always one step forward and two steps back. Stay positive and keep plugging away. Eventually you will make some headway. On the flip side, playing the role of the victim and continuously whining about your setbacks will get you nowhere.
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    Mar 26, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    Decide on what career path you d like to take and which school has the curriculum and then go see their admissions department. After you get some information and costs, go see their counseling department who can give you some advice on your career choice and different ways of financing your education, including dealing with your debt.

    Hopefully you will find someone who appreciates that you are actively trying to change course in your life and will offer support, direction, ideas, motivation and hope. If not, change councilor.

    Just decide what you want… after that, seek out assistance if the route is unclear. There are plenty of people out there whose job it is to help a guy just like you. And if you are having trouble with a career direction, they can even give you a series of questionnaires that will reveal careers that match your likes and dislikes.

    After that, I m sure your friends and boyfriend will jump onboard and start to support you, and you will start feeling human again.

    Pretty brave of you to post here and open up to us.
    Doesn’t matter how you got into debt. What it means is that you are living life and if there are some mistakes… you will end up be much wiser.. and much better off than someone who makes the same mistakes at 30.
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    Mar 26, 2011 2:36 PM GMT
    hey man,

    I think many of the community members said their part, so here is my ten cents plus interest to the conversation.

    First and foremost, relax. Walk, run, or jump outside or better yet, head to the gym and workout. You have to permit your body calm the anxiety you're experiencing.

    Next, write down all of the debt you current have. This will help you prioritize and see what to do with each type of debt. Then, identify why the debt exists (credit cards, loans, etc.) If you have a credit card call your company immediately, describe your situations, and request assistance keeping your credit score or whatever in check while you decide how to pay them. If you cannot give them anything explain this to them over the phone and follow up in writing.

    I'm unfamiliar with Victoria, Australia, so I don't know whether you need a card or not. If not, utilize mass transit and seriously stop beating yourself up about the driving test.

    Find as many part time jobs as possible in your area while searching for a long term job. You need a job first and foremost to build a savings and begin paying off your debt. Can you stay home? If so, stay home and ask your parents to help, otherwise, find roommates and stay cheap. it's easier than putting yourself more in debt.

    if you master this process now, then you're ahead of most people who experiencing financial problems later in life.

    Oh yeah and one more thing, breathe, you're not really unhappy just adjusting to a new scenario.

    Mike
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    Mar 27, 2011 12:56 PM GMT
    Funnily enough... The debt isnt mine... Its my mums. She stole about 5 grand from me... The other two grand my brother and bf lended me to get my car on the road, and since buying it last year. It's worked for 6 days in total.. after spending around 3 grand on it. And now i have absolutely no one to drive me. Im really out of luck :S
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    Mar 27, 2011 1:15 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Beneim saidI've just turned 18.


    So you signed up at this site while still underage >=/
    ...and is still lying about his age on his profile.
    I call fake profile. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 1:26 PM GMT
    shouldn't you be in school and have no car and any thoughts of a full time job at this age? icon_surprised.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 27, 2011 1:51 PM GMT
    Sounds like some of the issues are perhaps beyond your control. Where were your parents when it came to guidance here a couple of years ago?

    I agree that getting uptight isn't going to help. You certainly aren't hopeless,
    you can come right back and move forward! Know it isn't terrible, but you DO need to take some concrete steps.

    You do need to get your drivers license. I'd check with the state driving authority in your area to see what is required and who they would recommend help you prepare. Ask them and seek advice. If you can't afford much, tell that so.. they will better help you.

    Secondly, if you really want to go back to school, I assume you mean at the college level. If you didn't complete high school, seek our how to get your g.e.d.... and if you graduated high school and want to go to college..
    (congrats for you)... again seek information. Talk to financial aid about job related opportunities that they might offer you seek. Talk about your indebtedness and make a plan to get out of debt!

    Also know why you did get in debt and seek to understand why.. Make changes to reduce it and not to spend money the way you did.

    The reality is, it's all up to you. The worst thing to be is unhappy because life seems out of control. You can rein it in and have the satisfaction that you've moved yourself forward. Don't be unhappy when your 20. Make changes NOW!
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    Mar 27, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Ariodante said
    Beneim saidI've just turned 18.


    So you signed up at this site while still underage >=/
    ...and is still lying about his age on his profile.
    I call fake profile. icon_wink.gif
    Me too!