Are you really who you say you are?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 5:23 PM GMT
    In a world where information is so easily available to anyone on a push of a button, and people are becoming more and more corrupt in such a way that they'll go to great lengths just to get what they're after or simply to take advantage of others, how honest do you think the RJ men are?
    How honest and truthful do you think the information people post on their profiles are? Would you make up stuff about yourself just to make your profile look "cooler" or perhaps more appealing?
    There's no question we need to be careful with how much personal information we should give out, but there's a big difference between withholding information and lying about who you are just to make yourself look "smarter" or to get what you want whatever it may be.
    Have you ever had an experience where you met someone you had been chatting online with for awhile only to find that person wasn't at all like he/she said he/she was- either physically or personality wise?
    What are your thoughts on the issue?


    “Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”

    ~Spencer Johnson

    “To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful.”

    ~ Edward R. Murrow
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 5:34 PM GMT
    This topic is EXTREMELY timely for me today!!!
    I was involved with a man on RJ for 7 months...he contacted me just three days after I joined RJ. He showered me with compliments, constant attention and was VERY affectionate toward me....at first.
    His profile was quite intriguing and he gathered quite a bit of attention to pics that he SWORE were of him. He was a member of RJ for about three years..and many guys on here knew of him.
    He has since deleted his profile...and no names will be mentioned.
    HOWEVER, just within the last five days, I have been in direct contact with someone who is VERY close to this guy...and the truth has come out.
    Not a single thing about his profile was real...his age, his pics, his self-description of himself....everything was fake!!
    I only wish I had known the truth about this guy a year ago... it would have saved me a lot of heart ache. At least now I know that I was not the only one who was duped by this fake!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 5:41 PM GMT
    I always assume that an on-line profile and the owner of that profile are "fake" until proven otherwise--and the way to confirm that the online profile and the owner are real is to actually meet (not just talk to) the person. I also don't get emotionally invested in the owner of any online profile (unless I know him personally and have met him). Today's technology is so sophisticated that unscrupulous people can create fake personas and fantasy profiles at a whim and with very little imagination.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 5:43 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry to hear you had that kind of experience! It would totally suck to waste so much time and attention on someone who turned out to be a fake. I'm very new to this whole thing, and I'm still very inexperienced with a lot of things, too, which makes me sort of an easy prey, but I'm hoping to learn from other people such as yourself so I don't make the same mistakes they've made. Thanks for sharing your experience! And again, I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 6:06 PM GMT
    Friendsrbetter saidNot a single thing about his [RJ] profile was real...his age, his pics, his self-description of himself....everything was fake!!

    I used to run into phonies a lot in the AOL gay chat rooms. But every RJ guy I've met in person has been exactly as advertised and photographed -- same age, same weight, same looks, and every one of them very friendly, smart and fun to talk with. And I hope they found me likewise. All have met my partner, too, and some even seen my red Vespa, when I was still riding it and it was my screen name, all the things I say about my life here in Florida proven true.

    Getting back to AOL, we used to have one character who'd keep "killing himself off" and then returning with a new screen name and profile. But we soon knew who it was by his distinctive grammar, writing style, and subject material. Sound like anyone we know on RJ? icon_wink.gif

    One time he came back as a millionaire, and posted what he said were snapshots of his mansion he took that day. Well, I'm very sharp with details, and I could see at once that these were professional photos, not snapshots, likely for an architectural magazine or to sell the place.

    I could also see that exterior shots of the mansion's entrance didn't match the interior views, meaning they were actually pics of 2 or more different houses. But the real clincher was that the exterior shots showed the wrong season of the year! Busted!

    He eventually admitted it was another of his scams, including his story that he was a wheelchair-bound victim of a horrible car crash, who was going to give me his Harley-Davidson because he couldn't ride it anymore. Some people online really are very strange, making you wonder what's going on in their heads, and if they're dangerous to others in person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    The most important thing to me on RJ is that I am accurately portraying who I am. I have no need in pretending to be someone else besides myself.

    I am not impressed by people who try to act cool or more appealing so its sad that people won't act like themselves on here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 6:10 PM GMT
    When people question my validity..
    I get confused.
    Who would want to be me is my normal response.
    But in the end it matters very little to me if people believe more or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 6:15 PM GMT
    I think there is a lot of people in the world that portrays themselves in a different light compared to what they come off. Its human nature to want to be in a sense "better" or "cooler" to attract more people. My RJ profile portrays me to some extent since I dont really care about it, but it doesn't accurately portray my personality or what I am like in real life. I think no one profile portrays themselves accurately since there is a difference from reading someone profile and actually talking to them or knowing them physically.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 6:17 PM GMT
    mnboy saidWhen people question my validity..
    I get confused.
    Who would want to be me is my normal response.
    But in the end it matters very little to me if people believe more or not.
    ditto
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2011 6:32 PM GMT
    KSUOWL saidThe most important thing to me on RJ is that I am accurately portraying who I am. I have no need in pretending to be someone else besides myself.

    I am not impressed by people who try to act cool or more appealing so its sad that people won't act like themselves on here.


    I couldn't agree with you more! My conscience is clear, and that's one thing I'm not guilty of, that is, pretending to be someone other than who or what I really am or making up stuff about myself just to appear "cooler" or more appealing to other people. I don't need to pretend to be somebody else. I don't need to impress anyone. I'm pleased with who I am.



    P.S.: Notice I said "pleased," but never satisfied.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Mar 25, 2011 7:57 PM GMT
    Being that I'm married and that I'm not really looking for any kind of hook-up outside of being a friend, I can afford to be honest and forward and not make up tales.

    But I understand how some might fake it here. Happens everywhere on the internet.

    All I know is that I'm responsible for my own actions. What you see here is what you get, as it were!

    Peace,
    Bardy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2011 3:20 AM GMT
    What you see on my profile is what you get--in all my nerdy dorkiness.
    Be that for good or ill, I don't know.icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    I'm going to be me, cause that's all I know how to be. And frankly its too exhausting to even try and keep up w/ lies. I'm fine with being myself, it's up to the other person to choose whether they like me or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    cymraegmanHave you ever had an experience where you met someone you had been chatting online with for awhile only to find that person wasn't at all like he/she said he/she was- either physically or personality wise?


    Yes I have... in fact, my first bf who I met on a different site said he was interested in a monogamous relationship. We dated for 3 months, got into a relationship for 1.5 yrs and I broke up with him after finding him on a dating site with an existing profile.

    His excuse was - he was "Cleaning his mail" up.... and that he was going to delete it soon.

    Never did delete it... so I said "fuck it then, go find someone else to put up with your crap"...

    and that was that.

    So, yes I did meet people who claim to be someone they are not.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    although it's kind of naive to think this way, but my presumption is that guys are who they say they are...i just can't imagine having to go through the trouble of creating a fake version of yourself- just reeks of desperation and massive insecurity.


  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Mar 27, 2011 10:23 AM GMT
    People who fake their real identity are such a lame pathetic losers that I feel sorry for them. But, since I don't expect anything from this site, except to get some work out tips or routines, and maybe have fun while reading other people's post and posting my own, there is no room for disappointment. I certainly don't expect to find love of my life online. Call me old fashion, but I prefer to play my odds in real life. If there is no one in real life, well...than it's time for improving myself and learning new various things about life.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Mar 27, 2011 10:45 AM GMT
    I wouldn't say I'm trying to pull myself off as cooler than I am in reality, the main part of my profile is about how cool the old guys from the Mupper Show are. 8D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2011 12:46 PM GMT
    I am who I say I am, although there's a lot more to me than I can portray in a profile. One thing I learned from a guy I met on gay.com years ago is to speak to someone via web cam first. If they have lots of excuses as to why that can't speak to you via cam (like Skype) then it's often a good sign they are not who they say they are.

    As Dominus says, I usually assume someone is fake till proven otherwise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2011 1:07 PM GMT
    No, I'm not really who I say I am. In fact, I don't even know who I am, hence the reason I'm still trying to find myself.
    If I ever find myself, I'll report back and let you know who I am. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2011 1:29 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidNo, I'm not really who I say I am. In fact, I don't even know who I am, hence the reason I'm still trying to find myself.
    If I ever find myself, I'll report back and let you know who I am. icon_cool.gif

    Nice try, but FAIL. I'm gonna bust you.

    My partner & I had dinner with him, and Paul looks exactly like his pics. Indeed, his RJ profile is completely honest.

    He really is an airplane pilot, and he has a very charming & friendly personality, despite the eccentricity he cultivates online. Though you gotta admire his clever bon mots here.

    A phony? Well, only in a funny way. Reminds me a bit of the predictably ritualistic crabbiness of jprichva. "Get off my lawn!"

    So, yes, Paul, you ARE who you say you are, at least in your RJ profile. Most amusing post, but not something I'm letting pass without comment. Sorry...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    No I'm actually a big breasted woman.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 11:03 PM GMT
    I am truthful on my profile and whenever I talk to guys. I see no use in lying about who I am. I don't really understand why anyone would lie. Honesty is one fo the best qualities in a guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    tryintofindme saidI am truthful on my profile and whenever I talk to guys. I see no use in lying about who I am. I don't really understand why anyone would lie. Honesty is one fo the best qualities in a guy.

    Agree. And what's the point? Unless you're purely living in a virtual universe, at some point you may meet these online guys, and then what? How do you explain an appearance that's nothing like what you said, or the pics you posted, or the background story you told?

    To me this is self-defeating. But as I noted earlier above, not a single RJ guy we've ever met hasn't been exactly "as advertised," and we've met a number now. That doesn't mean you won't ever run across a phony here, you have to remain on your guard, but we've never encountered one. One of the many things I like about this site -- the guys are remarkably honest & real. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 29, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    Would the purpose to lie worth all the extra work ? ... It would only make it more complicated , and you will have to remember all the lies you have created , to spruce you up ...

    My motto , be truthfull , honest and your life will be a lot easier ...icon_smile.gif
  • stee99

    Posts: 317

    Mar 29, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    i've always been up front with who and what i am, so far people i've talked to and met online and off have been who they said they were..
    I have an interesting story that goes the other way tho,
    when i was in the states in 08 i caught up and hung out with a mate who's a paraplegic, he had a spare chair so we decided it would be a good idea for me to see the world from his level one day.. he took pics while we were crusing the sights. later i found they'd turned up on a yahoo group for guys who like guys in chairs, posted in a folder called 'who is this?' i started talking to the dude who put them up, eventually telling him the folder pics were of me and that i wasnt a paraplegic including showing him pics of me walking but he didnt believe me..