Progeny, or just having a child

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    Have you guys ever thought about having kids someday? If yes, would you like to adopt or continuing the family DNA by passing down your genes by inseminating an egg? LOL sorry that sounded professorial.

    But seriously what are your views about this topic.
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    Mar 27, 2011 4:40 AM GMT
    I would prefer IVF by my partner and me (using eggs from the same donor), resulting in two offspring with half of their DNA in common. I wouldn't be as picky about it as the couple below. The next preference would be adoption.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 4:50 AM GMT
    I think adoption. There's way too many unfortunate kids out there that need parents.

    If I could remake myself, I wouldn't do it the same, so I don't see the point in passing along my DNA.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Mar 27, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    dsmith123 saidI would prefer IVF by my partner and me (using eggs from the same donor), resulting in two offspring with half of their DNA in common. I wouldn't be as picky about it as the couple below. The next preference would be adoption.




    "we've always wanted them to look like us ...so we look like a proper family."
    Douchebags.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 6:51 AM GMT
    We have adopted. Two boys, siblings. We didn't give a gender or race when we sent out our search, just siblings of school age. We ended up doing Foster to Adopt, within our state. While we love being parents, we don't encourage the faint-of-heart to adopt OR become parents. Make sure it's what you want first.

    But, really, what is DNA, other than just sperm and an egg? I believe my children are mine, and don't really care who the original donors were. The only thing that separates us from other families is that our family happened all at once, rather than one child at a time.
  • nubScotty

    Posts: 282

    Mar 27, 2011 7:11 AM GMT
    Yup, I've always wanted kids, pets and the white picket fence etc etc corny image of a family. Struggled a lot with this before coming out and never viewed it as possible being gay and having a family.Now I'm looking forward to the idea of having a husband and kids, and a family.

    As for adoption vs. surrogacy, I would likely pursue the surrogacy route when the time comes; I've always had the idea in my head of having my own children. Sounds incredibly selfish, but just the image Ive always had in mind when this topic comes up. I realize that there are many kids out there who need a home, and that the bond formed between a parent and child is not dependent on a blood and genetics rather the time spent together. Eh guess I'll see when the time comes, I'm open to either option just have a preference for surrogacy.
  • charrismd

    Posts: 112

    Mar 27, 2011 11:58 AM GMT
    I adopted a daughter at birth 8 years ago. She is mine. I am hers. People say that we look alike. I forgot that she's not related by blood often; she does too.
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    Mar 27, 2011 12:08 PM GMT
    Nobody's genes warrant, per se, propogation. Raising a child, an adopted one or a biological one for any reason other than the love you have for others is too great to contain is no reason at all. My love for others isn't so big. I have a great like for others, but love is something far more. There are too many people in the world and most are here due to dumb reasons.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 12:10 PM GMT
    I take part of that back. Adopting children for the sake of lessening someone's load is a good reason to adopt a child.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Mar 27, 2011 12:57 PM GMT
    dsmith123 saidI would prefer IVF by my partner and me (using eggs from the same donor), resulting in two offspring with half of their DNA in common. I wouldn't be as picky about it as the couple below. The next preference would be adoption.




    Wow awesome I didn't know that was possible. Yeah that'd be tempting, wouldn't be that picky either.

    It sounds a bit stupid, but after watching Nami's past I'm totally up for adoption as well lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    i plan to adopt one or two.

    i don't get annoyed by too many things, but this topic has always made me cringe a bit. with so many unloved and uncared for children in the world, why would anyone ever want to consider IVF or even natural conception? i agree with the female interviewer when she pointed out that the child is thought of more like an accessory than a human being. i know people want their 'own' child for their own selfish reasons and they have a right to, but practically it just doesn't seem right.
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    Mar 27, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    I have a friend who's currently adopting a child as a single gay man and they've put him through the ringer. Its taken a couple of years to clear through the system... Surrogacy is no walk in the park either but it seems to be less convoluted (though I'm not speaking from a place of experience).
  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Mar 27, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    I was on their side until I watched the video. Specifying hair and eye colour...it is an accessory for them.
    I can still understand them wanting their own child but they come across as superficial and emotionally ill-equipped to be parents.

    I'd like 3 kids - 2 girls and then a boy but I wouldn't go out of my way to make that happen, it never dawned on me to pick how the children would look.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Mar 27, 2011 8:20 PM GMT
    GATTACA
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 9:17 PM GMT
    I know I want a child... maybe more. Whether that happens through adoption or taking advantage of the offers from a few friends I don't think it matters. It would be nice to have a child that shares my family heritage and genes. I want to be a father and a dad so bad it hurts sometimes when I see my friends with their kids. I am leaning more towards adoption these days cause my offers are slowly starting to expire. I just want a healthy child that I can love and help develop into a functioning productive adult.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Mar 27, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    I was adopted at birth and recently met my biological mother. I strongly encourage anybody (gay OR straight) who wants to become a parent to consider adoption.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 11:27 PM GMT
    Studinprogress saidGATTACA


    That's the first thing that came to my mind. lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2011 11:53 PM GMT
    How would you explain to the child the concept of a surrogate when they grow to an age where he or she is able to recognize that their family is different and that they don't have a mother. What if they eventually want to meet their "mother".

    Personally I think it's a bit complicated, at least with adoption the questions are easier to answer.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 28, 2011 12:00 AM GMT
    I was adopted. I have huge emotional issues over that. I would be way better off if I had been adopted by a gay couple, having been born gay. There's no test for that, so how would you know? Anyway, good luck with the adopting thing and being parents.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 28, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Anyone who adopts and becomes a loving parent to a child not of his own, is in my humble opinion, the best example of a real parent then a natural parent will ever be!. I have a lot of respect and admiration for anyone, gay, bi, straight, or a single person who adopts a child out of love and care for them.


    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2011 12:55 AM GMT
    MnKid84 saidHow would you explain to the child the concept of a surrogate when they grow to an age where he or she is able to recognize that their family is different and that they doesn't have a mother. What if they eventually want to meet their "mother".

    Personally I think it's a bit complicated, at least with adoption the questions are easier to answer.


    The surrogate is the woman that carries the fetus to term. She is not necessarily the same woman whose egg was fertilized by the sperm (i.e., the biological mother). Some laws make it difficult for adopted children to find their biological parents. Assuming the egg donor is comfortable with the offspring knowing her identity, disclosing this information would be straightforward (i.e., no need for searching registries or seeking the help of trained experts).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2011 12:58 AM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ saidAnyone who adopts and becomes a loving parent to a child not of his own, is in my humble opinion, the best example of a real parent then a natural parent will ever be!. I have a lot of respect and admiration for anyone, gay, bi, straight, or a single person who adopts a child out of love and care for them.


    Leandro ♥


    I am not sure if I understand your opinion. Does it mean that if I have one child via IVF ("natural parent") and then adopt a second child and I love them equally, then I become more of a "real" parent?
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 29, 2011 12:25 AM GMT
    dsmith123 said
    LEANDRO_NJ saidAnyone who adopts and becomes a loving parent to a child not of his own, is in my humble opinion, the best example of a real parent then a natural parent will ever be!. I have a lot of respect and admiration for anyone, gay, bi, straight, or a single person who adopts a child out of love and care for them.


    Leandro ♥


    I am not sure if I understand your opinion. Does it mean that if I have one child via IVF ("natural parent") and then adopt a second child and I love them equally, then I become more of a "real" parent?


    I am simply saying that it takes a very special and unselfish person to adopt and raise a child not of his own!


    Leandro ♥