This is tough!!!

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    Mar 27, 2011 6:14 PM GMT
    So, here is the issue. I met this amazing guy that was in my city for a few months this past winter. We had a few dinners and hung out a decent amount while he was here dealing with a family issue. We hit it off really well and planned a trip for me to go out to the west coast for a visit. We stayed in contact a few times a week mostly through email and txt.

    Fast forward 3 months and I just returned from my visit. We spent 9 days traveling around the Pacific Nw. He showed me around his city and introduce me to his friends. The visit was perfect. The sex incredible. Nothing was forced. In every way it just worked.

    So, here is the tough part. I am home now and missing him like crazy. I do not usually fall this hard for a guy and the absence is almost sickening. Ugh. We have already talked about seeing each other again in the next few months but right now that does not feel like enough. I know on his end he felt the same way I did about the trip. I am just wondering if any of you guys have been in a situation like this. What are the outcomes you have experienced. I completely want to be with this guy but as we are on opposite coasts. I also do not want to put my life on hold. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated.
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    Mar 27, 2011 9:34 PM GMT
    If $$ is not of concern, you guys can see each other every two weeks on weekends. This way you only get to fly across the country once a month (for him too, of course). I know this woman was doing her residency (physician) in NYC and she's from Hawaii, and she and her husband would do what I just described. Plus there's always the holidays, your time-off, and his time-offs. If you're both busy individuals who are not clingy it's not a bad idea. Good luck I hope it works out for ya!
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    Mar 27, 2011 11:28 PM GMT
    Thanks for the comment man. I dont think either of us are very clingy. Have not really done the long distance thing though. I guess Ill know better in a few days/weeks.
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    Mar 29, 2011 12:47 AM GMT
    At this point it's probably too early to tell whether you're truly into this guy and your guy is truly into you. It may well be that what you're feeling is simply temporary. That's not to say that your relationship will not develop into something more serious ultimately--that's always a possibility. Given the current circumstances, however, it might make more sense to not put your life on hold. In other words, make yourself available to other guys, but be honest with your guy. Pursue your relationship with him, but don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you put your life on hold thinking that something truly wonderful might come out of it, you might miss other opportunities. Indeed, you might well miss your true soulmate while you're singularly focused on making your relationship work with your guy.
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    Mar 29, 2011 12:55 AM GMT
    I've been in this situation. Met an awesome guy while in Miami doing an internship for graduate school. We did everything together while I was there. And when I went back home to Texas, it left a huge hole in my heart. I missed the guy like crazy. However, I knew from the start that the situation was temporary. I grieved the loss but moved on. I still think about him whenever I travel to Miami or think about my time in graduate school. But life's about changing and moving forward. And so i did.
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:22 AM GMT
    catfish5 saidI've been in this situation. Met an awesome guy while in Miami doing an internship for graduate school. We did everything together while I was there. And when I went back home to Texas, it left a huge hole in my heart. I missed the guy like crazy. However, I knew from the start that the situation was temporary. I grieved the loss but moved on. I still think about him whenever I travel to Miami or think about my time in graduate school. But life's about changing and moving forward. And so i did.


    Wow good for you. That must have been very difficult to get over that hurdle. I admire your courage man. You're right life is about moving forward.
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:43 AM GMT
    Hey man.. there are only a few situations like this in life...so act.

    You must do everything possible so you will have no regrets looking back..it is as simple as that.

    No sense playing games... let him know how u feel and figure out who is the most mobile....

    sure you could end up saying it was all a mistake... but don't start off saying that, LOL

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    Mar 29, 2011 4:50 AM GMT
    Man, check out

    http://www.realjock.com/fullphoto/475866

    and

    http://www.realjock.com/Jockbod48

    ...those guys were in the same position and now *grins* they live together. icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 30, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    I like all of the advice above. Still not really sure what my gut is telling me to do. I have learned however that timezones suck.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Mar 30, 2011 2:08 AM GMT
    I would not let distance dictate what you do or do not do. Follow your heart and see what happens...be open to the possibilities. Long distance relationships can be a bit of a challenge but they can work until you know whether you want a more permanent solution. Best of luck.
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    Mar 30, 2011 11:51 PM GMT
    So, I put myself out there a bit today. Just basically saying how I am feeling about him. It was reciprocated pretty nicely. We have not really talked about where this is going but at least now I know the feelings are mutual. That is enough for me right now.

  • Mar 30, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    My advice (and backed up by research)

    Relationships have a tough time lasting when they start long distance...if distance is added later then usually relationships have a better chance. If you decide to pursue this I think you need to eventually give yourself a timetable of when it'd be time for one of you to think about moving should you two continue to hit it off and really enjoy one another. The only way you two can truly see if you're compatible is to actually spend consistent time with one another. Hope this helps.
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    Mar 31, 2011 12:31 AM GMT
    Sounds like you are majorly crushing on this guy, new, exciting, only hung out together doing exciting things.... no "relationship" exists yet.

    My Dad always told me its much easier to mow the lawn in your own backyard.

    (date within your local area)