What does it mean to revolve you entire life around your sexuality?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2011 11:19 PM GMT
    I would like a genuine answer. I read it too often to ignore it now, but when the person in question is saying it they fail to thoroughly explain what would lead them to that assertion that one "wears their orientation on their sleeves."

    Please serious discussion. Thank You.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 12:03 AM GMT
    In political discussions it is an arguement used by conservative gays to explain away the fact that most LGBT people vote liberal.

    It's a shallow arguement.

    Gay Liberal: How could you vote for someone who compares gays to pedophiles?

    Gay Conservative: Because... my life and voting record does not revolve around my sexuality!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 12:15 AM GMT
    I find this so funny on so many levels. I think you just proved the OP's point even more...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    it can mean alot of different things.

    i tend to think if one of the top 5 adjectives one of your close friends (not some bigot who judges you as your acts) would describe you with is gay, then you're probably still coming to terms with yourself and integrating that into your personality. because we are not what we do, and there are probably 5 different things you do or embody that have nothing to do with sex. "loving" as an adjective would describe you as being affectionate, with the tangent that when you love romantically, it's with other men.

    However, for people who like to box other people in at the other extreme, it often means that you don't hide yourself so much that you are invisible. in other words, it's not that you don't pretend to be straight...it's not that you date men....it's not that you flaunt yourself....it's that you won't get on the back of the bus like a good little 2nd class person...in other words...if someone like this asks you if you had a date and you say "it went well, he was nice". then in their eyes, you are flaunting it, and asking for abuse. it's the type of mindset that is used to justify bigotry and abuse.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 12:26 AM GMT
    I would call it flaunting your sexual orientation whenever possible.

    An example would be a college student who does a basic freshman writing class assignment that brings up the fact he is gay. He does it not because he feels it's a good topic but because he wants to make sure everyone knows he's here and queer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    ATC84 saidI would call it flaunting your sexual orientation whenever possible.

    An example would be a college student who does a basic freshman writing class exercise that brings up the fact he is gay. He does it not because he feels it's a good topic but because he wants to make sure everyone knows he's here and queer.

    Agreed!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 12:51 AM GMT
    ATC84 saidI would call it flaunting your sexual orientation whenever possible.

    An example would be a college student who does a basic freshman writing class exercise that brings up the fact he is gay. He does it not because he feels it's a good topic but because he wants to make sure everyone knows he's here and queer.


    i'm not going to disagree with you, but what if it were an equally self absorbed topic typical to that age group? Or what if he were to write about romantic love to try to impress a girl (if he were straight). Those are all part of growing up. I don't think of that as flaunting anything. just being young and naive.

    when i think of flaunting sexuality, i don't think of it as being gay specific. it's when people need to tell you way more gory detail than you need. example, 2 adults go on a date, i can assume there is a possibility of physical intimacy. i don't need a hi def version of events to know what 2 people can do together, regardless of what their plumbing is. it doesn't offend me though, but i do think of THAT as flaunting.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 28, 2011 12:51 AM GMT
    The same thing it means when your life revolves around being a vegan, or a Baptist, or a basketball player, or a mom, or a college senior. Every thing you do somehow has some reference to it. Some simply cannot understand why the rest of the world sees it as boorish to be so preoccupied.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    DodgedBullet saidWhat does it mean to revolve you entire life around your sexuality?
    You mean like how the straight people have family pictures on the desks in their offices, talk about tittie bars, and brag to each other about the "young hottie" they're gonna score with tonight while their coworkers/friends tell their wives they're out of town on business?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    Sylas saidI find this so funny on so many levels. I think you just proved the OP's point even more...

    Bingo Sylas. Nailed it. Your response should be the message of the week if not year. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 1:11 AM GMT
    To give my answer, I think it comes from the belief some have that their entire persona is defined by their sexual orientation. In other words, their view of self and opinions about most things are driven from their orientation. They view themselves not as an athlete, singer, etc, who is also gay, but instead as a gay person whose other interests and attributes are completely subordinate to their gayness. The wearing their orientation on their sleeve comes from emphasizing their gayness over all other attributes in interactions with others. [It is possible to answer this question without taking political potshots.]
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 1:15 AM GMT
    I think I still use it as an activist standpoint, not necessarily that I'm gay but that I'm oppressed. Being in that oppressed group, it allows you to objectively look at other oppressed groups and feel for the type of pains and sorrows they too have gone through. My sexuality does run my life (And I think that will change as I age) because I use it as a beacon for my motivation and passions.

    For example, if I'm in Mock Trials and I'm up against a straight guy...It makes me perform that much better to know that I can squash a straight person and prove something. Same goes with almost any type of activity. I live through my sexuality because society forces me to...Every day there is a reminder in which I must remember that I am gay, and that it has a toll on my every day life. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not reminded so keenly of my difference to the rest of the people around me. It's a rather large difference, as much as people will try to minimalize it...

    The thing is, the minute society makes me stop caring about it (ie, they don't care) then my life will revolve around something else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    Its like asking why do all the guys chew copenhagen...?

    or why do all gay guys have to be so feminine...

    It doesn't mean anything. It just is... and you move on...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    There are many components that make up who we are. Here's a list (source):
    My memoriesMy reputationMy childhood experiencesMy previous emotional attachments
    My genderMy aesthetic senseMy current relationshipsMy present age
    My nationalityMy professional rolesMy past reading matterMy religious beliefs
    My bodyMy feelingsMy creative achievementsMy thoughts
    My aspirationsMy fearsMy successesMy inhibitions
    My loyaltiesMy educationMy will-powerMy state of health
    My conscienceMy heroesMy unconscious mental processesMy life-style
    My habitsMy skillsMy understandingMy curiosity
    My regretsMy pleasuresMy power of judgementMy differences from other people

    Surely, many more components could be listed. For example, I would include sexual orientation as another component in the above table. To me, that means that my self-perception is not dictated by sexual orientation alone, but that it's just another factor among many others. Those that "revolve their entire life around their sexuality" or "wear their sexual orientation on their sleeves" just place more weight/emphasis on how their sexual orientation plays into who they are (and how it impacts the other components).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2011 5:05 AM GMT
    Thanks I appreciate the responses so far. Bump for more!