I just want to second the suggestion of joining a gay/bi friendly sports league or association. Not sure what the situation is like in Raleigh, but it sounds as if you have some good options. NY is terrific. I played with the Ramblers (soccer) in NY for a while, and it was a great mix of athletic gay/bi and a few str8 guys playing serious soccer at a very competitive basis. Same mix in hockey and rugby. Those three sports tend to be a little more mixed than 100% gay because good field times are scarce, but gay guys have their act together and so are able to secure good permits...so everyone wants to play on the "gay" teams. There are also gay sports associations for virtually any sport, even sailing. I have always founds sports to be a great way to meet guys, where sex is NOT the first priority, but still always a possibility if the chemistry is good.