Yarr! Flakes be pissin' me off!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2011 3:37 PM GMT
    This is a vent thread.

    I talked to a guy on Grindr (mistake one.) He seemed cool, into me, we had some things in common, both liked cuddling, and so forth. We exchange pics, talk for a day, I ask if he wants to hang out that night or over the weekend. He says that night because his twin sister is in town.

    I have a meeting at the LGBT center from 7-8:30, we are txting until then I say I will text at 8:30. I do, he doesnt respond. The next day he texts back saying he is really sorry, but his phone ran out of batteries, and he couldnt get back to me. He says he wants to hang out after his sister leaves. I say sure (mistake #2)

    He starts texting me every day to ask how it is going, etc while his sister is there to tell me how much he wants to hang with me, that he thinks Im attractive, and so forth. She leaves on Sunday (yesterday) and he asks if I want to hang out after the gym. I tell him to txt when he is done, he does. In the middle of the conversation to find a spot to meet, he stops responding to me (like really man, your so busy you found something to do in the middle of talking to me?) (mistake #3, he should have called). I get pissed because I turned down cooking with my friends to save this time for this douche. He texts me back 5 hours later asking if I still want to hang, and that he was sorry because he "got busy". I send him a text "dude, wtf is that man? I could have been hanging out with my friends, normal people dont waste other's time like that."

    Still havent heard from him.

    Vent over.

    Does anyone else have flake stories?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2011 3:49 PM GMT
    does anyone NOT have flake stories?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    URIAH saiddoes anyone NOT have flake stories?


    Well, its more that I want to hear them lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2011 4:00 PM GMT
    Don't expect too much from guys on Grindr. They're there for a quick fuck. You're not going to find a "date" or a "bf" on there. It doesn't mean that there aren't dateable and bf-material guys on there--it's just that, at that particular moment in time, they're not looking for a date or a bf. Once their horniness disappears either because they've met someone or have simply gotten tired from the back-and-forth, the opportunjity for interaction is gone and you're likely not going to hear from them again.
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    Mar 28, 2011 4:15 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidDon't expect too much from guys on Grindr. They're there for a quick fuck. You're not going to find a "date" or a "bf" on there. It doesn't mean that there aren't dateable and bf-material guys on there--it's just that, at that particular moment in time, they're not looking for a date or a bf. Once their horniness disappears either because they've met someone or have simply gotten tired from the back-and-forth, the opportunjity for interaction is gone and you're likely not going to hear from them again.


    Yea I think some of them are. I didnt really set the mood for it being sex, as I am pretty up front that I dont screw guys when I first meet them. Ive had good experiences from Grindr, it doesnt mean everyone is gonna be one though.
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    Mar 28, 2011 9:50 PM GMT
    Maybe it's a guy with a fake profile. Then of course he had to flake. Or worse yet, a girl with a deep voice and a fake profile. Oh snap!

    Yeah it was a douche thing to do. What, someone tied his hands to the bedpost so he couldn't dial your #? Break me break! Damn it I hate flakes, almost as much as bitches.
  • timcoolkid

    Posts: 69

    Mar 29, 2011 1:35 PM GMT
    I hear you man, flakes are just so annoying and frustrating. It sucks when they just disappear all the sudden and I'm like "dude, you can't at least man up and say something??"
  • timcoolkid

    Posts: 69

    Mar 29, 2011 1:41 PM GMT
    I had a similiar experience once - met this guy online and we chatted and had a great connection. He asked me to hang out the next day (sunday) and I said sure and we even decided on a time. The next day I texted him, no response. On monday, he txted me back and said his phone died and he was asked to stay longer at work, blah blah blah and asked me if we can hang out on Wed. I agreed again. On wed evening, I messaged him on aim and we were chatting and trying to decide where to meet and all the sudden he just logged off and disappeared. He txted me later and came up with some other lame excuses and wanted to meet up and this time i said "NO!"
  • misternick

    Posts: 234

    Mar 29, 2011 2:06 PM GMT
    Maybe you're just putting too much weight on Grindr? It's a fun time-passer, sure, but don't take it personally when somebody fails to comply with formal conventions of etiquette someplace where you describe yourself in a few sentences and one picture.

    I don't have a phone with Grindr so I don't have too much experience with it, but I love playing on my boyfriend's phone. There are lots of messages he gets that say "Hi" or "sup" that don't get followed up.

    I can understand being frustrated because you feel like you were led on, but maybe he wasn't looking at it the same way. You said there was some back and forth, but I don't know how involved the conversation was. It's possible that when you blew up on him with "wtf is that" he thought to himself "this guy's a hassle" and lost interest.

    I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying not to let it bug you so much.
  • XxXxXxAZNxXxX...

    Posts: 615

    Mar 29, 2011 2:20 PM GMT
    Chainers saidThis is a vent thread.

    I talked to a guy on Grindr (mistake one.) He seemed cool, into me, we had some things in common, both liked cuddling, and so forth. We exchange pics, talk for a day, I ask if he wants to hang out that night or over the weekend. He says that night because his twin sister is in town.

    I have a meeting at the LGBT center from 7-8:30, we are txting until then I say I will text at 8:30. I do, he doesnt respond. The next day he texts back saying he is really sorry, but his phone ran out of batteries, and he couldnt get back to me. He says he wants to hang out after his sister leaves. I say sure (mistake #2)

    He starts texting me every day to ask how it is going, etc while his sister is there to tell me how much he wants to hang with me, that he thinks Im attractive, and so forth. She leaves on Sunday (yesterday) and he asks if I want to hang out after the gym. I tell him to txt when he is done, he does. In the middle of the conversation to find a spot to meet, he stops responding to me (like really man, your so busy you found something to do in the middle of talking to me?) (mistake #3, he should have called). I get pissed because I turned down cooking with my friends to save this time for this douche. He texts me back 5 hours later asking if I still want to hang, and that he was sorry because he "got busy". I send him a text "dude, wtf is that man? I could have been hanging out with my friends, normal people dont waste other's time like that."

    Still havent heard from him.

    Vent over.

    Does anyone else have flake stories?


    Holy shit! This sound like what just happened to me. The only difference is we did /eet up the first time and we txted like every day...he would always say how he liked me and how he wanted a relationship and how he wanted me...but then we never did meet up...i never said anything even though i was/am kinda pissed. I like him and all but i hate Hate HATE flakes like that...fml
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    Mar 29, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    'cuz the title demands it.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    Well, first I don't think Grindr was a mistake, it's just a social networking site but you have to keep it in perspective. Yes, we've all had this happen and with my ex I use to get so frustrated with texting because, depending on cell service (although it's much better now) there would be long gaps and then, of course, texting is one dimensional. On occasion there would be no response and I, like you, would be thinking wtf! Hello.......

    I think the lesson here is that if you start by meeting someone on Grindr or any other site (hookup or not) and they have an interest, just tell them, hey, I don't mind a text now and again but if you're interested in getting to know me, you'll have to actually call me so we can chat. Guys can't just 'get busy' while they're talking (although I do recall dozing off while speaking to my ex but that's a story for another day). This will eliminate the flakes right off the top AND give you more than a single dimension conversation to evaluate the other person.

    I ended up keeping my texting to only the initial, hey are you there? Are you busy? From there is was voice to voice.
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    Mar 29, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    misternick saidMaybe you're just putting too much weight on Grindr? It's a fun time-passer, sure, but don't take it personally when somebody fails to comply with formal conventions of etiquette someplace where you describe yourself in a few sentences and one picture.

    I don't have a phone with Grindr so I don't have too much experience with it, but I love playing on my boyfriend's phone. There are lots of messages he gets that say "Hi" or "sup" that don't get followed up.

    I can understand being frustrated because you feel like you were led on, but maybe he wasn't looking at it the same way. You said there was some back and forth, but I don't know how involved the conversation was. It's possible that when you blew up on him with "wtf is that" he thought to himself "this guy's a hassle" and lost interest.

    I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying not to let it bug you so much.


    Yea some conversations die out. We were texting back and forth over the period of 4 days consistantly. I was pissed because I turned down baking with my friends because I told the tool I would hang out with him at 3, and he flaked out again.

    The excuse of "sorry, im just a busy person" is really lame. We are all busy.

    On a side note, I met a really muscular Brazilian man yesterday, who leaves for Brazil today. We made out, it was fun, and now I have no recollection of who this flake was.
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    Mar 29, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    I once met this guy on aol chatroom. Everything seemed to hit off. We saw each others pictures, we talked on the phone, and we made some plans to meet. However, he would consistently cancel on me. After a month of this shit I was like, I can't take it anymore, and told him I don't want to meet him. Then things were quiet for a few weeks. One day someone AIMed me and ask if I was so-and-so, and I was like, yes. This guy then claimed to be the twin brother of this guy that kept flaking on me, and get this, the guy who kept flaking on me, apparently died (from cancer, or so he claims). This "twin brother" then claimed that he saw my pic and is now in love with me too, and asks me if he can take his dead brother's place to be my future bf. I mean, come on! What am I born yesterday?!
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    Mar 29, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    Cityaznguy saidI once met this guy on aol chatroom. Everything seemed to hit off. We saw each others pictures, we talked on the phone, and we made some plans to meet. However, he would consistently cancel on me. After a month of this shit I was like, I can't take it anymore, and told him I don't want to meet him. Then things were quiet for a few weeks. One day someone AIMed me and ask if I was so-and-so, and I was like, yes. This guy then claimed to be the twin brother of this guy that kept flaking on me, and get this, the guy who kept flaking on me, apparently died (from cancer, or so he claims). This "twin brother" then claimed that he saw my pic and is now in love with me too, and asks me if he can take his dead brother's place to be my future bf. I mean, come on! What am I born yesterday?!


    omg this story is the win of the day.

    Please tell me you said yes.
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    Mar 29, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    Chainers said



    I was pissed because I turned down baking with my friends ...

    I would have been pissed too...love to bake! What did they make that you missed? icon_smile.gif

    The excuse of "sorry, im just a busy person" is really lame.

    Definitely a lame ass excuse. It's more like an excuse for having found someone else of interest.

    On a side note, I met a really muscular Brazilian man yesterday, who leaves for Brazil today. We made out, it was fun, and now I have no recollection of who this flake was.

    Out with the old and in with the new....that's the spirit! LOL

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    Mar 29, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    Cityaznguy saidI once met this guy on aol chatroom. Everything seemed to hit off. We saw each others pictures, we talked on the phone, and we made some plans to meet. However, he would consistently cancel on me. After a month of this shit I was like, I can't take it anymore, and told him I don't want to meet him. Then things were quiet for a few weeks. One day someone AIMed me and ask if I was so-and-so, and I was like, yes. This guy then claimed to be the twin brother of this guy that kept flaking on me, and get this, the guy who kept flaking on me, apparently died (from cancer, or so he claims). This "twin brother" then claimed that he saw my pic and is now in love with me too, and asks me if he can take his dead brother's place to be my future bf. I mean, come on! What am I born yesterday?!


    omg this story is the win of the day.

    Please tell me you said yes.


    Sure! I said yes and we've been happily ever after...LOL.

    See why I friggin' hate flakes now?
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    Mar 29, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    eb925guy said
    Chainers said



    I was pissed because I turned down baking with my friends ...

    I would have been pissed too...love to bake! What did they make that you missed? icon_smile.gif

    The excuse of "sorry, im just a busy person" is really lame.

    Definitely a lame ass excuse. It's more like an excuse for having found someone else of interest.

    On a side note, I met a really muscular Brazilian man yesterday, who leaves for Brazil today. We made out, it was fun, and now I have no recollection of who this flake was.

    Out with the old and in with the new....that's the spirit! LOL



    We were making whoopie pies. They are damn yummy, but the butter in the cream is clogging my arteries.

    He may have found someone else (in 3 days, really?) I think he just has no back bone.

    Its scary, to put yourself out there and get to know someone. Not everyone has the confidence to do it.
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    Mar 29, 2011 3:16 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    We were making whoopie pies. They are damn yummy, but the butter in the cream is clogging my arteries.

    He may have found someone else (in 3 days, really?) I think he just has no back bone.

    Its scary, to put yourself out there and get to know someone. Not everyone has the confidence to do it.


    Yummy . Well I'm guessing he was chatting with more than just you but putting yourself out there is tough, but it has to be with the understanding that you're going to have to weed through guys like this to find the one that is considerate, understanding and appealing. It clearly was not him. Hang in there!
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:43 PM GMT
    Eh, being led on is never fun. It's happened to me a few times on some sites.

    I remember there was this one guy. I believe we met on A4A. Anyway, he messaged me. We got to talking a lot for a couple of weeks. After awhile I felt comfortable enough to give him my cell. From there we would text throughout the day. At night we'd talk on the phone. After another couple of weeks of chatting, he just stopped talking altogether. I would e-mail him, send him a message, left voice mails and text messages. Nothing. I was beginning to wonder if something bad happened to him because he seemed very interested in meeting. About a month later he explains what happens via text. He said that his phone was out and his roommate checked his phone. The roommate got weirded out, so the guy wanted to lay low.

    Fun, fun, fun. Some guys should just grow a pair of balls and say something instead of sticking their fingers in their ears saying, "LALALALLALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU"icon_mad.gif
  • jperfit

    Posts: 593

    Mar 29, 2011 9:56 PM GMT
    Not a good idea to meet anyone from such sites and that would include this one, people are not what they seem, best just not do it
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    Mar 29, 2011 10:17 PM GMT
    jperfit saidNot a good idea to meet anyone from such sites and that would include this one, people are not what they seem, best just not do it


    Interesting idea, I have met people from such sites before and have had good experiences. When you first meet someone anywhere, they are not always what they seem. They can say what they want and do what they want but it is not until you spend time with them that you know who they really are.
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    Mar 29, 2011 10:46 PM GMT
    Your flake story is about the worst I've heard in a while. Sorry that happened to you OP.
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    Mar 29, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    flatstate2010 saidYour flake story is about the worst I've heard in a while. Sorry that happened to you OP.


    lol thanks man its all good though. Poor guy, he seemed really nice and sweet, guess thats the gay world for ya.
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    Mar 29, 2011 10:53 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    flatstate2010 saidYour flake story is about the worst I've heard in a while. Sorry that happened to you OP.


    lol thanks man its all good though. Poor guy, he seemed really nice and sweet, guess thats the gay world for ya.


    I tend to agree with you.. too much drama for me most of the time.