Would you stay with your boyfriend if he was going to prison?

  • Mark85

    Posts: 16

    Mar 28, 2011 8:40 PM GMT
    I am with my boyfriend for 3 years but am getting sentenced in 2 weeks. My lawyer has told me to expect 2 years (less with good behaviour etc.). My boyfriend has said he will stick by me and I think he means it.

    If this was happening to you, do you think you would stay with him. He means alot to me and I really appreciate what he is doing.

    Have you ever been away from your partner like this or say if he was in the Army or working abroad? How did things work out?
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    Mar 28, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    it would depend on what level of commitment we had prior. if it was only a matter of time, i would wait. there are other factors tho.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Mar 28, 2011 9:03 PM GMT
    ... it also kind of depends on what they did icon_razz.gif
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Mar 28, 2011 9:31 PM GMT
    What did he do? That's the biggest thing to look for.
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:27 AM GMT
    Statute of Limitations - GTFO that part of the country and never go back ^ ^
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:28 AM GMT
    Depends on why he is going.
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    The question was in the 1st person... the OP is the pending inmate.
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    Mark85 saidHave you ever been away from your partner like this or say if he was in the Army or working abroad? How did things work out?



    Going to prison and being in the military or working abroad aren't really the same thing. Military service is an honorable thing by protecting your country. Working abroad means your gaining experience and paying the bills. He's a nice guy if he sticks with you, but he is not under any obligation and no one can blame him if he doesn't.
  • charlieviiper...

    Posts: 328

    Mar 29, 2011 1:43 AM GMT
    kinda depends on the crime... i think
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:48 AM GMT
    Two years can go by in a flash.....especially if you make good use of the time and he is busy also...

    This experience could also make the relationship stronger....

    Makes no sense to blame yourself, that's water under the bridge.

    Plan a great future after... and more chances he will want to stick around to see how it plays out.
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:49 AM GMT
    You'll have many boyfriends where you are going. Don't worry about it
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    Mar 29, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    i say you run off with your boyfriend to mexico. that would be the ultimate love story.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Mar 29, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    I would not.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Mar 29, 2011 4:05 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidi say you run off with your boyfriend to mexico. that would be the ultimate love story.


    +1
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    Mar 29, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    Depends on the crime, how long we had been together and how long he was going in for... but off the top of my head... I think sadly no. A lot of things can change in 2 years.
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    Mar 29, 2011 4:36 AM GMT
    So.....what'd ya do??? icon_neutral.gif
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    Mar 29, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    Only if I truly felt he was wrongly accused and convicted.

    Otherwise.... if you are a criminal... I wouldn't stick by you. Maybe your boyfriend is far more sympathetic than I am.
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    Mar 29, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    for prison, no. not the answer you were looking for.

    but he has stuck with you through this process, so who knows.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Mar 29, 2011 4:46 AM GMT
    ZbmwM5 saidOnly if I truly felt he was wrongly accused and convicted.

    Otherwise.... if you are a criminal... I wouldn't stick by you. Maybe your boyfriend is far more sympathetic than I am.


    Ditto.
  • Mark85

    Posts: 16

    Mar 29, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    I had been drinking and had an accident and the other driver was injured. It was the biggest mistake I have made in my life and I accept what I have done and pleaded guilty and am ready to take the consequences. One mistake can change your life but I know I deserve to be going to prison.

    I know it's not the same as being in the military or working abroad but these are also reasons why you may not have a normal relationship with your partner - that's why I was asking.
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    Mar 29, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    I wouldn't stay around. Of course I don't like dating people that live more than 20 minutes away from me.
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    Mar 29, 2011 6:54 PM GMT
    You guys can try to stick together and commitment does certainly affect this longterm scenario.

    Unfortunately, from his perspective as the one outside of "prison limbo", he's still out living his live in the free world and it is quite possible that his circumstances and the people around him may change and evolve. It's not 100% realistic to think he will "freeze" his life just to reflect your frozen life in jail. Moving on from you could be a natural thing for him.
  • Mark85

    Posts: 16

    Mar 29, 2011 6:58 PM GMT
    That's what I'm worried about. I think he means what he says no but when I'm in prison and he is out living his life he might change his mind. It would be hard to be losing him when I can do nothing about it
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    Mar 29, 2011 7:02 PM GMT

    I doubt the person you injured when you were drunk driving gives a shit about whether your boyfriend will be with you when you get out. I'm just being honest...

  • laguna07

    Posts: 124

    Mar 29, 2011 7:36 PM GMT
    It's a reality you have to face. I don't think you can blame him for being human and have unrealistic expectations that someone else could come into his life while you are in prison, but that could happen to either of you if you were not in prison.. What is meant to happen in both your lives will.