Very moving story

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    Mar 29, 2011 1:53 AM GMT
    about a woman who married a gay man and describes her experience. Please be sure to read the end. She sounds like my a hero to me.


    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23168113/ns/health-behavior/
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    Mar 29, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    Sad but it was a good read.

    Thanks friend icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 29, 2011 6:38 AM GMT
    Great article, I hope people read it and learn something
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    Mar 29, 2011 7:19 AM GMT
    good share! thanks
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Mar 29, 2011 7:44 AM GMT
    wow she is very strong women. thanks for the share man.icon_wink.gif
  • santz7

    Posts: 47

    Mar 29, 2011 8:49 AM GMT
    friendormate saidabout a woman who married a gay man and describes her experience. Please be sure to read the end. She sounds like my a hero to me.


    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23168113/ns/health-behavior/

    Very sad, but unfortunalely happens all the time.. If only enough straight people would read this story.. I simpatize more with her ofcourse, but both were victimis of our society.. I think..
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:04 AM GMT
    "I don't know how this could have happened," he stammered. "It's nobody that I knew ... it was mostly oral sex ... it just happened...; At gay bars, there are back rooms with holes in the walls..."

    LOL

    Anyway, awesome story.
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:27 AM GMT
    alonelyplanet said"I don't know how this could have happened," he stammered. "It's nobody that I knew ... it was mostly oral sex ... it just happened...; At gay bars, there are back rooms with holes in the walls..."

    LOL

    Anyway, awesome story.


    Yeah, this is really fucking funny. The entire story had me laughing so much, I was practically in tears. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Jesus. What's wrong with some of you people?
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:31 AM GMT
    This story also highlights the concerns I've always had with bisexuality, since most bisexual men never tell their female partners that they like to get fucked up the ass, or suck dick (true story, most bi men never tell their female partners).
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:31 AM GMT
    RiverRising said
    alonelyplanet said"I don't know how this could have happened," he stammered. "It's nobody that I knew ... it was mostly oral sex ... it just happened...; At gay bars, there are back rooms with holes in the walls..."

    LOL

    Anyway, awesome story.


    Yeah, this is really fucking funny. The entire story had me laughing so much, I was practically in tears. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Jesus. What's wrong with some of you people?


    Hi, like i said AWESOME STORY. Yes it was sad but i quoted that part because I found it funny. I wasn't making fun of the people or the story. You're too uptight, loosen up a bit.
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    Mar 29, 2011 2:25 PM GMT
    heybreaux said.......

    There was one thing in her story that was rather strange to me aside from the wedding night, the refusal/proposal...

    After years of covering up, it seemed to only take her finding him putting cash in a drawer for him to come clean? ........................

    Anyone else find that part bizarre?

    At any rate, she speaks the truth, and I'll bet that after her years of feeling neglect, and her new guy's feeling unwanted by his lesbian wife that this new couple probably has a freaking smashing time in the sack! Like rabbits!
    Because each of them actually WANTS what they are getting.


    I got the impression he was a bit of a wound wire ready to snap. He is not bi and was fully aware of his gay feelings but given his background did not see being gay as an option. So he repressed all his feelings which caused him to react impulsively when the tension reached a certain level. He reacted the same way when she met her future husband. If I were him I would have done everything possible to wish her and her new mate the best.

    She is a bit hard on herself for overlooking all the red flags. She doesn't equate how her sheltered religious upbringing conditioned her to be a willing victim. Just think about her parents reaction to his phone call them where he confesses to being gay but accuses her of adultery and her parents take his side?! WTF! I LOVE how her strength of character, in the end, rises to the surface.

    I agree that their sex life is probably explosive because they both have so much pent up desire and for once know what a true mutual attraction is. There is a message here to the many gay men who chase after the best looking guys as a means of validating their self worth. If you get one of these guys and he does not have a similar feeling for you then you may as well be a woman married to a gay man; you will feel unloved and you're not going to get any validation. Now if you find a guy who may be quite average looking to your friends but turns you on in bed because he is super hot for you, only then will you feel loved. Great sex is about how strong the mutual attraction is, it is not just about how hot the guy you're sleeping with is.
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    Mar 30, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    a great eye opener that sexuality is something thats engraved. society cant change it.
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    Apr 01, 2011 8:35 AM GMT
    Great story. In some ways, I would imagine that getting over a man that was gay would be easier. After the pain subsides from the disclosure and subsequent internalizing of it all, realizing that "it was never you" is clearer than if he had just gone for another woman. Despite having a completely different, but repressing, background and complicated relationship, I found so many parallels to my story and recovery from the betrayal of being caught up in someone else's confusion. It's hard to look back at a marriage of that long and not be upset and angered that his "problem" was displaced to you, that a life you thought you were creating with someone has been a lie, and that his intimacy and identity issues were something that he allowed you to internalize as your problem. The "living a lie" part is the most difficult to process. You have to make peace with the time you lost and what could have been of the time that was taken from you. After accepting the uncertainty of what the relationship was and time lost, the focus becomes finding your own way to appoint value to that time in order to allow yourself to have good memories. I imagine that her involvement in the gay community is a way for her to appoint that value, to find meaning to the hurt and to move closer to forgiveness. I continue to remain involved, 3 years after ending my relationship, in groups that were instrumental to my healing and still are. Only now, I moderate. Sharing your story is cathartic.

    My interpretation of him coming clean after being caught hiding money is that he had probably told so many lies that he just ran out of any thing else to come up with or perhaps he was physically and mentally tired of having to tell them. I can only imagine it to be harder for him to come to grips with the pain he has caused.

    "Somehow, I'm an even stronger person because of the pain I endured." In these situations, when the very core of your being has been rocked, growth is solitary and usually isn't conventional, The extent of self exploration is intense as you literally back you mind out of the false beliefs and pain in the search for a resolution. The end result and beauty of it all, a "self awareness" is born. For children that have been repressed by family or religion, it's a gift that you realize may not have happened without having been put to such a test. Emerging from the pain, gratitude. I see that with her.

    What an inspiration of beauty and resilience.