Should your live in BF pay half the rent?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2011 11:47 AM GMT
    Are there any reasons it should not be a 50/50 deal?
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    Mar 29, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    there's no reason he shouldn't pay something. the proportion would depend on how you are splitting up other expenses and to what degree he's actually using the residence as a resource.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 29, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    if his clothes and posessions are in your house/apartment, if he is there 100% of the time, if he is receiving mail at that address, if he has the financial means to do so.....then HECK YES he should pay half of the rent icon_exclaim.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 29, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    rnch saidif his clothes and posessions are in your house/apartment, if he is there 100% of the time, if he is receiving mail at that address, if he has the financial means to do so.....then HECK YES he should pay half of the rent icon_exclaim.gif


    I concur
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    Mar 29, 2011 2:05 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidAll they any reasons it should not be a 50/50 deal?

    Sharing expenses 50/50 is the ideal. Rent, utilities, TV, food, whatever the total monthly living costs are.

    With my late partner I transferred the same amount to him each month, that covered my half of all household expenses, or a little more. I was busy at the university, while he was retired and home all day, so paying the bills became his job, which he really seemed to like. And I hate dealing with money anyway. We didn't co-mingle our bank accounts for legal reasons in that State.

    With my current partner I pay certain recurring bills, like satellite TV, car & hurricane insurance (both very high in south Florida), phone & Internet service, and also car maintenance, vacation trips, major purchases, all the routine stuff. He usually pays for his car's gas (but no car payments, I bought it new for him cash), our groceries, restaurant & bar bills, property taxes, countless incidentals. He already owned this place with no mortgage payments when we met, and he's willed it to me, but I still in my own mind consider my living here to be saving me money, and I view that value to me as part of his household contribution.

    So that once again, this all roughly comes out to about 50/50, but we don't keep a strict tally, which I don't think partners should do. It's enough to know that each of us "pulls his own weight." But BFs or roommates might keep tighter tabs on their individual contributions.
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    Mar 29, 2011 2:09 PM GMT

    Are you making the same income? Then yes. Otherwise you each pay an amount proportionately, unless the rent is low enough it can be split 50/50 without cleaning out the BF's paycheck. It's a romantic and loving partnership, right? icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:15 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Are you making the same income? Then yes. Otherwise you each pay an amount proportionately, unless the rent is low enough it can be split 50/50 without cleaning out the BF's paycheck. It's a romantic and loving partnership, right? icon_wink.gif

    -Doug


    I just got out of a LTR where I provided a home for my ex for 20 years.I don't want to ever do that again but damn it's happening again. Love should be separate from support.
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:22 PM GMT
    This is one of those situations where people get to "sound" shallow, by saying things like "I only date guys who have a stable job, own transportation, and already support themselves."

    After having a lazy bf who wouldn't hold a job, I now have that same ideology. Bitch better work and pay his share, or I'll find someone else who will.
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:33 PM GMT
    If you want the marriage and the rights that come with it like heterosexuals have, then start acting like it- pool your money together as one and start fighting about who is spending too much.
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:36 PM GMT
    mixtape saidIf you want the marriage and the rights that come with it like heterosexuals have, then start acting like it- pool your money together as one and start fighting about who is spending too much.
    And don't forget to hire rentboys with the money. icon_twisted.gif
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    Mar 29, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    mixtape saidIf you want the marriage and the rights that come with it like heterosexuals have, then start acting like it- pool your money together as one and start fighting about who is spending too much.
    And don't forget to hire rentboys with the money. icon_twisted.gif



    I meant start acting like a regular heterosexual married couple, not a heterosexual congressman's marriage.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 29, 2011 9:43 PM GMT
    Absolutely Not! He is a boyfriend...not a husband. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • SwimBIkeRun94...

    Posts: 480

    Mar 29, 2011 10:28 PM GMT
    Mine doesn't pay anything specifically.

    The way I see it: with or without him, I'd still have to cover those costs. I also enjoy the fact it's all "mine," so if anything bad were to happen, it stays mine and there's no fighting over who owes what.

    That said, he's very good about treating me to a dinner, or picking up the grocery tab when we shop, and spending what would be disposable income on things for me.

    It doesn't bother me, but I can see how some would want their partner to cover their share.
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    Mar 29, 2011 10:35 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidAre there any reasons it should not be a 50/50 deal?


    There could be reasons for one paying more than the other. If one is really wealthy, he might out of his own good will and kindness offer to pay more than half, especially if he really likes his roommate. But it should be up to him, if he wants to pay more than half. It should not be demanded of him, just because he is wealthy.
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    Mar 29, 2011 11:13 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThis is one of those situations where people get to "sound" shallow, by saying things like "I only date guys who have a stable job, own transportation, and already support themselves."

    After having a lazy bf who wouldn't hold a job, I now have that same ideology. Bitch better work and pay his share, or I'll find someone else who will.



    I hear ya. I have tried to be non judgmental for 5 months. I have never used the "L" word. Not paying rent is one thing not contributing to maintaining the place is the deal breaker.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Alpha13 said
    paulflexes saidThis is one of those situations where people get to "sound" shallow, by saying things like "I only date guys who have a stable job, own transportation, and already support themselves."

    After having a lazy bf who wouldn't hold a job, I now have that same ideology. Bitch better work and pay his share, or I'll find someone else who will.


    I hear ya. I have tried to be non judgmental for 5 months. I have never used the "L" word. Not paying rent is one thing not contributing to maintaining the place is the deal breaker.

    Damn, Alpha....you strike me as a guy who deserves way better than that. icon_neutral.gif

    There is little excuse for someone to pay absolutely no rent...that's just an unrealistic expectation in life. To then not be contributing to upkeep (when if anything, over-compensating might be warranted) is unconscionable. I think after 5 months of little change, I would start to feel used.

    I think a guy should be striving to be your partner, not a leach. It really sounds like your hopes and expectations have been quite reasonable, considering.

    Here's hoping the log-jam breaks and he either pulls up his socks or frees




    you up to have the calibre of mate you've earned....with a 20 yr LTR und


    your belt, you seem like quite a catch.



    At my age there isn't exactly a lot of guys that are interested.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    I have to go with doug on this on, the split should be proportionate to individual incomes. Personally I wouldn't have another live in boyfriend though.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    50/50 irrespective of incomes
  • turbid2wenty

    Posts: 74

    Mar 31, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    Bowie saidI have to go with doug on this on, the split should be proportionate to individual incomes. Personally I wouldn't have another live in boyfriend though.


    This. I feel like it maintains standards of living in a fair way.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidAre there any reasons it should not be a 50/50 deal?


    I can think of one: You make a lot more money than he does. He's your boyfriend, not your business partner.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    i think people should contributely equally, but it's not all in quantifiable terms. each couple works this out for themselves.. i've been the larger breadwinner before and was careful not to make an issue of it. i've never let anyone cover things for me because i've never been committed in a lifeterm sense. if i were married, it wouldn't matter.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    malefeet saidAbsolutely Not! He is a boyfriend...not a husband. icon_rolleyes.gif


    He's not a husband . . .

    but you guys live together, sleep together, and do everything that a married couple does together.

    The piece of paper--a marriage certificate--seems to be the only difference.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:36 PM GMT
    I guess my position on the matter is different because I equate living together with marriage. In other words, I don't believe in "living together." I've always had my own place. And that won't change unless I get married.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Mar 31, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    I think it kind of depends on each situation. Obviously, if you're living in a home with a $4,000 a month mortgage and your BF makes $2,500 a month and has his own bills (car loan, school loan, etc.) then the 50/50 thing doesn't work or simply isn't possible. There are things one can contribute in a household that aren't necessarily rent, so you work it out. Maybe one pays the mortgage/rent and the other pays for groceries and utilities, and other expenses. Freeloaders become pretty obvious rather quickly, but if someone is making a contribution to the best of their ability then you can't really ask for more than that.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 31, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    I would hate to agree with a generic statement like the one Alpha suggests...
    now let me say, I think a "live in anything" needs to contribute, but circumstances may such that a 50/50 deal may not be possible, but the boyfriend might contribute a much greater extent in some other way... gardening, upkeep, etc.

    Would I expect my partner to contribute? Absolutely, but he contributes and he doesn't even live with me! I would hope if I had one living there, they would contribute. Whether it be 50/50 would be up to an agreement of the parties.