Gay Short Story

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    Mar 30, 2011 5:14 AM GMT
    Tack Room

    I held the horse still as Hank helped the last rider of the group onto the horse. Once everyone was ready the leader started down the well worn path, leave Hank and me alone in the barn. Hank walked up behind me and grabbed my crotch through my jeans.

    “We got about twenty minutes before the next group gets done with their ride.” He said from behind me, wrapping a big arm around me and lifting up my shirt.

    “That’s not much time.” I said, my dick already getting hard.

    “It’s enough” Hank said as he grabbed my belt buckle and lead me to the tack room, gently pushing me in before him and latching the door behind himself.

    I pushed Hank up against the door, my lips meeting his, his mouth opened and out tongues found each other. At the same time my hands were busy with his belt buckle, which was undone in a quick familiar movement before I was working on the top button of his jeans and then the zipper was down. Hank pushed my down on my knees with his swollen member inches from my face. “Not much time remember” Hank said above me. I grabbed his cock with one hand before enveloping his member in my warm mouth.

    “God that feels amazing Jed” Hank said above me, he always gave me the compliment and he meant it and I knew that. I still got my mouth wetter and went down deeper on his cock. Hank put a strong hand behind my head and pushed his hips forward, his cock slipping down my throat. He held his cock there for a few moments enjoying the feeling before moving back, his cock falling out of my mouth. Hank picked me up off my knees and stripped my shirt off above my head, throwing it in a random corner of the tack room.

    Hank turned me around and got busy with undoing my jeans as well, letting them drop around my ankles. He moved me over to a spare saddle that was on a beam waist high. He bent me over the saddle before getting on his knees. I felt his rough hands spreading my ass and his tongue finding my hole, working its way easily inside. Once he had got it nice and moist he spit a few times for good measure before standing back up and taking his own shirt off, sweat was already forming on his hard body.

    I felt his cock head press against my hole and I breathed out slowly as he pushed in. Once he was a couple inches in Hank help still, letting me get used to his cock. Even after being together for so long I still needed a few moments and Hank knew this and was happy to comply knowing that once I was ready he could do what he wanted. I gave him a simple nod before I felt the rest of his nice cock slide deep into my hole, making me moan from pleasure.

    Hank grabbed my hips and started to pound my ass, my hard cock started to leak cum feeling his cock move against my prostate, his moans joined mine and filled the empty tack room. Sweat covered both our bodies, making them glisten in the faint light. Hank pulled his cock out and pulled me back from the saddle and tuned me around to face him, he gave me a quick kiss before laying me on the saddle and lifting my legs over his shoulders, his cock was back in my ass in an instance. The feeling of intense pleasure caused me to throw my head back and my toes curl. Cum dripped from my cock, pooling on my smooth abdomen.

    I could tell from the way that Hank was fucking me and breathing that he was getting close to cumming as was I. His breath came faster and his muscles began to tighten up. I grabbed my own hard cock and stated to jack it on the verge of cumming. Hank pulled out of me knowing better then to shoot in me at work and jack his own hard cock, letting out a low moan as a steam of cum jetted out of his cock, splattering my body. The sight pushed me over the edge and I added my cum to his, covering my body.

    We both stayed there for a moment panting and enjoying the tingling feeling flowing through our bodies. Hank smiled down at me and I could not help but smile back in smile satisfaction. He reached over and threw me a spare towel on my body so I could get cleaned up.

    “Seems we had enough time after all” He said slowing rubbing his still semi-hard cock.

    “You always have been able to get the job done in time, just as long as we go for a longer session tonight.” I said finished wiping myself off. Hank leaned over and kissed me which was his way of saying I had nothing to worry about.

    Hank helped me stand up and we both got quickly dressed, I looked out he window and saw the group emerging from the woods, we had cut it close. I unlatched the door and was about to head out when Hank grabbed me and pulled me to him.

    “I love you Jed” He said with a smile kiss.

    “And I you” I said holding his eyes for a moment before turning and walking out the door, my man right behind me.
    ======================================================

    Commet please (and not on the bad english)

    http://thecelticfury-simon25.blogspot.com

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    Mar 30, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    If you knew there was bad English, then why not fix it? It destroys the flow of the story when people have to back track and try to figure out what you mean, and it pulls attention away from the story.

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    Mar 30, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    Interesting twist to John Steinbeck's "The Red Pony"..................Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:26 PM GMT
    Allathlete saidIf you knew there was bad English, then why not fix it? It destroys the flow of the story when people have to back track and try to figure out what you mean, and it pulls attention away from the story.



    If I could I would, I know I suck at grammer and spelling and when I go back and re-read I catch some but miss others...not like I have an editor you know.
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:39 PM GMT
    For what type of audience are you writing?
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:41 PM GMT
    Any who wish to read, I write what I'm in the mood for and if ppl enjoy it all the better. I write a large range of stuff.
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:42 PM GMT
    Simon78928 said
    Allathlete saidIf you knew there was bad English, then why not fix it? It destroys the flow of the story when people have to back track and try to figure out what you mean, and it pulls attention away from the story.



    If I could I would, I know I suck at grammer and spelling and when I go back and re-read I catch some but miss others...not like I have an editor you know.


    As a fellow writer, I'll say this -- it's YOUR job to proofread, re-read, and fix things. No one will forgive you for your poor skills. An editor's job isn't to fix your lazy writing habits -- they are to recommend improvements to the story. The mistakes in this story make it beyond obvious you didn't proofread -- and if you did proofread, then you actually just glanced and didn't actual PROOFread. Telling an interesting story is about the suspension of disbelief. ONE spelling error or grammatical mistake means your reader is gone. Take responsibility for it.

    If you have serious stories to share, post those. This is just a porn scene. A story is, at its highest level, documents a change in a person. It's supposed to make a person think. This just reads like you thinking aloud about how you want to get fucked.
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    Mar 30, 2011 11:09 PM GMT
    ScottyMcbody said
    If you have serious stories to share, post those. This is just a porn scene. A story is, at its highest level, documents a change in a person. It's supposed to make a person think. This just reads like you thinking aloud about how you want to get fucked.


    This might sound harsh, but I have to agree. icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 30, 2011 11:11 PM GMT
    ScottyMcbody said
    If you have serious stories to share, post those. This is just a porn scene. A story is, at its highest level, documents a change in a person. It's supposed to make a person think. This just reads like you thinking aloud about how you want to get fucked.


    QFT. Also it made me want to write a little snippet in my blog that I haven't updated in forever.
    http://cabinet31.blogspot.com/2011/03/him.html
  • XxXxXxAZNxXxX...

    Posts: 615

    Mar 30, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    It was pretty hot dude ;p
    I don't know why though, I never liked hearing the word cock in writing...weird I kno...
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Mar 30, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    aha
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 30, 2011 11:47 PM GMT
    I'm a writer and I perfected my craft by writing erotica. It's the best excercise for learning to write. Saying 'he fucked me and then I fucked him' isn't erotic.

    Learning to make your readers feel the emotions that your characters felt when you were writing the scene is the skill that all succesfull writers have.

    I pulled him into the Gap changeroom and pulled down his pants. The silky smooth skin of his swollen cockhead brushed against my lips and I barely had time to open my mouth before he shot jets of sweet almondine cum.

    That, I'm sure, made you feel like you were there.



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    Mar 31, 2011 12:00 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy said jets of sweet almondine cum.



    It made me crave a shot of this
    amaretto-di-saronno.jpg
  • Doug688

    Posts: 29

    Mar 31, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    ScottyMcbody said
    Simon78928 said
    Allathlete saidIf you knew there was bad English, then why not fix it? It destroys the flow of the story when people have to back track and try to figure out what you mean, and it pulls attention away from the story.



    If I could I would, I know I suck at grammer and spelling and when I go back and re-read I catch some but miss others...not like I have an editor you know.


    As a fellow writer, I'll say this -- it's YOUR job to proofread, re-read, and fix things. No one will forgive you for your poor skills. An editor's job isn't to fix your lazy writing habits -- they are to recommend improvements to the story. The mistakes in this story make it beyond obvious you didn't proofread -- and if you did proofread, then you actually just glanced and didn't actual PROOFread. Telling an interesting story is about the suspension of disbelief. ONE spelling error or grammatical mistake means your reader is gone. Take responsibility for it.

    If you have serious stories to share, post those. This is just a porn scene. A story is, at its highest level, documents a change in a person. It's supposed to make a person think. This just reads like you thinking aloud about how you want to get fucked.


    This is good advice. You should read John Gardner's The Art of Fiction, especially the last section of the book where he provides exercises for budding authors. You need to seduce your reader rather than flashing him your junk from beneath a trenchcoat. Good luck with developing as a writer, you have some hot ideas and need to work on presentation.