Could you fall for a guy who's dabbled in porn?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2011 7:27 PM GMT
    so this friend of mine had a pretty bad mental breakdown a few days ago...and this was just the worst ive ever seen him..

    first off, he had done a lil bit of gay porn for the "experience and money" and he's not out.

    The reason why he was freaking out was cuz he feels like him doing porn has made him "someone who no one wants to deal with."

    he's told me that he's had a few times where he was gonna ask a guy, who he's basically in love with, out (and i guess he still does? otherwise y would he bring it up right?) but the fact that he has done porn turns the other guy off and then the other guy cuts off all communication with him right then and there...even guys he's just casual talking to (about just everyday things) just suddenly stop talking to him after he mentions it since they asked

    I calmed him down, but since Im shitty at giving advice I kinda felt like maybe yall could give me some tips on what to say to him so that he wont keep feeling so depressed about it; what do yall think?
    Would you ever go for a guy who's been in porn?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2011 7:31 PM GMT
    If you've ever jacked off to porn, yet turn down a guy because he's done porn, that makes you a hypocrite.
    I'd rather date a porn star than someone who talks bad about them.
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    Mar 30, 2011 7:36 PM GMT
    I don't like porn but I would give a chance to the guy, I'm not the judging type of person. The past doesn't matter as long as the present and future look nice
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:26 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidIf you've ever jacked off to porn, yet turn down a guy because he's done porn, that makes you a hypocrite.
    I'd rather date a porn star than someone who talks bad about them.


    +1!

    I also think there's a world of difference between not wanting to date a current porn star and not wanting to date someone who's done porn. I can understand why current porn could be a deal-breaker.
  • turbid2wenty

    Posts: 74

    Mar 30, 2011 10:29 PM GMT
    Pure said
    paulflexes saidIf you've ever jacked off to porn, yet turn down a guy because he's done porn, that makes you a hypocrite.
    I'd rather date a porn star than someone who talks bad about them.


    +1!

    I also think there's a world of difference between not wanting to date a current porn star and not wanting to date someone who's done porn. I can understand why current porn could be a deal-breaker.


    Has been? Absolutely. Still in? Absolutely not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:34 PM GMT
    Why not? Yes I would have problems if they were still doing porn.. However, I wouldn't think it fair to judge someone on what they do for a living. I'm sure some of the people in porn are smart and caring people.
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:37 PM GMT
    Pure said
    paulflexes saidIf you've ever jacked off to porn, yet turn down a guy because he's done porn, that makes you a hypocrite.
    I'd rather date a porn star than someone who talks bad about them.


    +1!

    I also think there's a world of difference between not wanting to date a current porn star and not wanting to date someone who's done porn. I can understand why current porn could be a deal-breaker.


    There's a difference of understanding. Preeeecisely! icon_biggrin.gif

    I think people just need to get over the fact that people have sex. Unless they've been a real whore and probably have no idea what their STD status or can count who they've been with... it doesn't matter. Especially if you like the person for who they are, not what they've done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:37 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif"dabbled"icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Mar 30, 2011 10:51 PM GMT

    It might sound a bit cold, but you might ask your friend if he ever considered the consequences of his actions.

    "so this friend of mine had a pretty bad mental breakdown a few days ago...and this was just the worst ive ever seen him."

    This sounds like this isn't his first trip to the rodeo.... is the guy a nut case??
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 30, 2011 11:07 PM GMT
    Ok I like the word .... Dabbled

    That mean he did it once? Twice? A hundred tines?
    Is he recognizable to any gay man who has seen porn in the last five years?

    Ifeel for your friend but anything we do comes with consequences
    And doing porn isn't something that doesn't come with some later baggage

    And plus you state that he's not completely out?
    Know wonder he is freaking out

    You have to tell your friend that what is done is done
    He needs to be able to discuss and tell people about his past
    And accept that some men will not be able to deal with it but that others actually might
  • swedeinusa

    Posts: 285

    Mar 30, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    Yes, but I wouldn't date someone who chooses porn as a longterm career. I'm the jealous type so it wouldn't fly with me.
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    Mar 31, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Buckyou saidI don't like porn but I would give a chance to the guy, I'm not the judging type of person. The past doesn't matter as long as the present and future look nice


    +1
  • charlieviiper...

    Posts: 328

    Mar 31, 2011 12:35 AM GMT
    on the upside, he's probably big
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    Mar 31, 2011 1:50 AM GMT
    NCReal06 saidWhy not? Yes I would have problems if they were still doing porn.. However, I wouldn't think it fair to judge someone on what they do for a living. I'm sure some of the people in porn are smart and caring people.


    I don't think there's a lot of guys who can make a living at porn. For most it's just a side thing and they have other jobs that support them. A lot of guys do it just for awhile while going to college to get a little extra money. And unless you are uniquely different from other porn stars, they quickly dump you for newer faces and younger guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    im actually gonna be seeing him tonight again to see how he's doing so thanks for yall's help!

    and to just answer some of the questions,
    he's done it a few times, only at the end of last year so im pretty sure there are a number of guys who have seen his stuff
    he told me the other day that he's out of it now, and "it was just a one time deal to see what it was like" (out of curiosity i guess)

    FriendsrbetterThis sounds like this isn't his first trip to the rodeo.... is the guy a nut case??

    no he's not a nut case, he just lives a high stress life
  • awm55

    Posts: 619

    Mar 31, 2011 2:08 AM GMT
    If you do any porn it basically destroys your ability to have any real respectable professional job later in life. I don't care how desperate you are for money, there are so many other jobs you could to.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 31, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    As long as it was just a smidgen....icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    I'd give a guy a chance since we all deserve a chance to prove ourselves and our character. However, if he wanted to continue to do this, I would have to tell him how I would feel about him being intimate with other people, no matter the reason.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:28 AM GMT
    I would find it more than a little hypocritical to be a consumer of the product while looking down my nose at the provider of it. So yeah, I could.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    Sure I could as long as he was clean and a good guy why not? Not sure if I could date a guy who's currently a porn star but it would depend on the guy and our relationship.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:50 AM GMT
    It depends on who he had sex with.

    Jake Cruise = Instant "No."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2011 2:51 AM GMT
    A1EX saidIt depends on who he had sex with.

    Jake Cruise = Instant "No."


    Ooooh good call. I forgot about Jake Cruise! Why's that guy gotta ruin all of the porn movies he makes? I don't want to see him, I want to see the pornstar!
  • BlueKoolAid

    Posts: 112

    Mar 31, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    awm55 saidIf you do any porn it basically destroys your ability to have any real respectable professional job later in life. I don't care how desperate you are for money, there are so many other jobs you could to.



    Totally agree.
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    Mar 31, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    turbid2wenty said
    Pure said
    paulflexes saidIf you've ever jacked off to porn, yet turn down a guy because he's done porn, that makes you a hypocrite.
    I'd rather date a porn star than someone who talks bad about them.


    +1!

    I also think there's a world of difference between not wanting to date a current porn star and not wanting to date someone who's done porn. I can understand why current porn could be a deal-breaker.


    Has been? Absolutely. Still in? Absolutely not.


    Totally agree!
  • justinlee86

    Posts: 501

    Mar 31, 2011 3:15 AM GMT
    I dont think it would bother me!!! Actually I know it doesn't!!!!