Yes, another ' I fell for my straight best friend' story...but good outcome

  • JMex3

    Posts: 96

    Apr 01, 2011 11:23 PM GMT
    In a previous post I posted how I had come out of the closet roughly three weeks ago and I explained how I came out to a girlfriend and my best guy friend from home. This is about my best guy friend from college let's call him Jon (I'm 23 recently graduated)

    He's still in Boston, actually once my picture is approved he's the kid that has his arm around me. I met him freshman year through my roommate who played baseball with him in High School. Since the first day we met it was an instant click, you know when it just feels right to be around that person? well that's how it was right off the bat. We were inseparable him, my original roommate and him all lived together throughout college.

    As college progressed I realized I had more than just 'friendly' feelings for this kid and I would try to shake them off but he wouldn't help the situation. When we were drunk he'd kiss me on the cheek or just run his hand up and down my back when we were sitting down while no one was watching, things that he probably did out of love for me as a friend but of course I read into too much.

    A new friend came into the picture 'Eric' and I started hanging out with him and one night when we were drunk Jon and I usually left parties together, if i wanted to leave he left and vice versa. We got back to our apartment and we started talking about Eric and he said 'Do you know how jealous it makes me when you hang out with him?' so of course i read more and more into this but not acting on anything or making any moves.

    College went on like this and about a year ago I was a bit tipsy and I texted him...as embarassing as it is to say it I pretty much flat out confessed my love to the kid telling him that I've never felt about another guy that way etc etc...he played it off real cool and just made comments such as "well you can give it to me next time I see you" I guess to lighten the mood. Anyway the next morning I look at my phone and i re read the text messages I was shitting my pants I had no clue what to do so I texted him saying that I was really sorry about the night before, to which he responded; "you have nothing to be sorry about". That was the end of that and it was never ever talked about again everything stayed the same still best friends.

    So about 2-3 weeks ago when i decided to tell him I was gay I couldn't find the words for fear he'd reject me and when I told him he just calmly said..." I don't know if your remember but you told me this in a not so direct way a while back when you said you had 'other' feelings for me and if you've noticed nothing has changed and nothing will change because you're my best friend and we can talk about it if you want because it's like any other feelings/relationship". He was so cool about the whole thing, I had read other disaster stories when kids were desperate and went through what i went through but approached it differently and basically ended up losing a friend.

    I'm saying he's a good friend for not being weird after I told him I loved him but I explained to him that I was just so confused with my own feelings and who I was, that I would never ever do anything to jeopardize our friendship because it means a lot to me, and it does. I'm going to visit him and my other friends from college in two weeks and it will be the first time I see them since coming out to them. always thinking positive here after coming out I just feel like I don't have to lie which I always hated and which leads me to conclude this story with three of my favorite quotes that helped me deal with life before and after coming out of the closet.

    "you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    "if you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything"

    "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"

  • swedeinusa

    Posts: 285

    Apr 02, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    That's awesome.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Apr 02, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    Great story. Hope it's a never ending one.
  • Gambit1313

    Posts: 23

    Apr 02, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    That was an amazing and inspiring story. Congratulations! icon_smile.gif
  • JMex3

    Posts: 96

    Apr 02, 2011 12:49 PM GMT
    Thanks guys icon_smile.gif
  • omgazn

    Posts: 342

    Apr 02, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    aspiring story bro. I haven't really came out to my childhood friends yet. Any suggestion?
  • JMex3

    Posts: 96

    Apr 02, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    omgazn saidaspiring story bro. I haven't really came out to my childhood friends yet. Any suggestion?


    To be honest man I was scared shitless to tell my friends, not so much the girls but my core group of guy friends and those friendships ranged from 3 year-15 year friendships, everyone took it very well they were all supportive as I would hope they'd be. The main thing I told them is that nothing changed between us and it's not like I'm going to be attracted to them, the person I am is the person I will always be I'm not going to put wings on and run around town screaming that I like dudes (nothing wrong with that but not my thing haha).

    Trust me I know where you're at I have a very conservative Mexican republican family...icon_eek.gif it's horrible haha and i'll never come out to them probably, but friends are friends man, you're friends with them for a reason and this a good test to be honest, which ones will stick by you. But keep in mind that some friends are not prepared for what you're telling them so they might need some time but they'll come around.

    Good luck to you man, but the one thing I can tell you is that:

    it is the SINGLE best feeling I've had in my short 23 years, saying it and embracing it. IM GAY and that's pretty much it. Good luck to you man, in time you'll realize that you can only keep it in for so long and there's nothing wrong with liking dudes. Hope this helped.

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    Apr 02, 2011 10:06 PM GMT
    Hey! He sounds like a good guy. All in all, that's really awesome.
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    Apr 02, 2011 10:49 PM GMT
    Muchos Congrats bro! Awesome outcome!!!
  • omgazn

    Posts: 342

    Apr 02, 2011 10:52 PM GMT
    JMex3 said
    omgazn saidaspiring story bro. I haven't really came out to my childhood friends yet. Any suggestion?


    To be honest man I was scared shitless to tell my friends, not so much the girls but my core group of guy friends and those friendships ranged from 3 year-15 year friendships, everyone took it very well they were all supportive as I would hope they'd be. The main thing I told them is that nothing changed between us and it's not like I'm going to be attracted to them, the person I am is the person I will always be I'm not going to put wings on and run around town screaming that I like dudes (nothing wrong with that but not my thing haha).

    Trust me I know where you're at I have a very conservative Mexican republican family...icon_eek.gif it's horrible haha and i'll never come out to them probably, but friends are friends man, you're friends with them for a reason and this a good test to be honest, which ones will stick by you. But keep in mind that some friends are not prepared for what you're telling them so they might need some time but they'll come around.

    Good luck to you man, but the one thing I can tell you is that:

    it is the SINGLE best feeling I've had in my short 23 years, saying it and embracing it. IM GAY and that's pretty much it. Good luck to you man, in time you'll realize that you can only keep it in for so long and there's nothing wrong with liking dudes. Hope this helped.



    Thanks I will try that. I will definetly let you guys know the result when i do muster enough courage to tell people I'm gay.
  • groundcombat

    Posts: 945

    Apr 02, 2011 11:22 PM GMT
    Interesting story. I'm glad it went well.

    I have a handful of straight friends, most of whom know I'm gay (the ones that don't are fairly distant friends).

    I kind of struggle a bit in this dynamic. I'm very cognizant of boundaries with them to avoid making them uncomfortable of giving them the wrong ideas but they're often more comfortable joking, touching, etc than I am.
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    Apr 02, 2011 11:43 PM GMT
    I love happy endings icon_biggrin.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    mane8tuh1 saidI love happy endings icon_biggrin.gif


    Giggity.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    I wish I had friends.
  • omgazn

    Posts: 342

    Apr 03, 2011 1:52 AM GMT
    I will be your friend alex!
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    Apr 03, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    omgazn saidI will be your friend alex!


    You live too far. icon_cry.gif
  • charlieviiper...

    Posts: 328

    Apr 03, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    awe man so you didn't give him drunken oral sex?
  • JMex3

    Posts: 96

    Apr 03, 2011 1:16 PM GMT
    charlieviiperi saidawe man so you didn't give him drunken oral sex?


    Nope, I care about the kid a lot and definitely wouldn't want anything to complicate things more. We'll see where this goes but for now it's just a good friendship and I feel that's how it's going to stay.
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    Apr 03, 2011 1:44 PM GMT
    Wow a truely inspiring story! I wish you the best, real friendships are hard to come by. Cherish them, cause I know you will! icon_smile.gif
  • omgazn

    Posts: 342

    Apr 03, 2011 3:09 PM GMT
    A1EX said
    omgazn saidI will be your friend alex!


    You live too far. icon_cry.gif


    RJ friend lOL!