How to get over. When people who take there life by suicide..

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    Apr 02, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    I lost my mom when i was 16 (20now) anyways i lost her due to it... i sorta moved on.. but it still eats at me everyday. So just wondering if theres anybody whose been in the same situation, wether it be family/friends.. how did you deal with it... how long did it take you to get over it, if you ever did?
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    Apr 02, 2011 5:59 PM GMT
    I'm really sorry to hear that happened, I'm sure to this day it is hard to think about. I haven't personally experienced losing anyone to suicide so I'm not really able to provide much advice to you as to how to deal with it. I think with any situation when you lose someone, its important to deal with your emotions. Wether it be speaking to a therapist, friends, family. Containing your feelings is the worst thing you can do.

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    Apr 02, 2011 7:26 PM GMT
    The only way I have been able to get over it and move on is just realizing that generally, he was dealing with some thing(s) that I was woefully unprepared to assist with in a constructive manner, and for whatever reason the problem(s) seemed insurmountable to him so much so that he did not see things improving.

    Everyone wants to go through the "I could have helped" stage but the problems that lead someone to the conclusion suicide is a good option, are usually not the problems easily solved like losing weight or finding a new job that anyone could offer advice and perspective on. So from a default position merely giving a hug and being willing to listen might just not be enough, especially if you never saw it coming and there were no "signs" you knew to be looking out for.

    It's never easy to think of people as "broken" that way and so far beyond help, but there is something that separates the way they "solve" their last problem, and the way we (you and I) solve our problems day to day.

    It was probably about one year before I was okay "talking about it" with anyone, and about two years before I actually did start talking about it with someone.

    You know when you are ready to start talking, and when you start talking, you will know when you are finally ready to move on.

    Sorry for your loss by the way (and prospectively extended to anyone else that chimes in the thread with a similar story.)
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    Apr 02, 2011 10:07 PM GMT
    You never get over it but you will eventually get past it with time when your own life experiences in the world and with people in general shows you that there really wasn't anything more you could have done and it wasn't your fault.

    A friend of mine committed suicide about 25 years ago worsened by the fact that he did it in front of me and another friend by jumping from his 20th floor balcony. It was totally unexpected and we had absolutely no idea he was in that bad a state of mind. All i can summize from it was that I know his family hadn't spoken to him in years since he told them he was gay, he did it on his birthday, so obviously a myriad of things related to that must have been the breaking point for him. I still think about it occasionally and how things might have gotten better for him over time and what he might be doing today. I don't blame myself for what he did or that we couldn't save him.
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    Apr 02, 2011 10:57 PM GMT
    andrew_111 saidI lost my mom when i was 16 (20now) anyways i lost her due to it... i sorta moved on.. but it still eats at me everyday. So just wondering if theres anybody whose been in the same situation, wether it be family/friends.. how did you deal with it... how long did it take you to get over it, if you ever did?
    I lost a good friend in high school to suicide. I still think about him daily.
    You never get over it completely. You only find ways to move on with your life, while keeping the memory.
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    Apr 03, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for the responses. It helped a bit reading your suggestions. And knowing there's other guys who were in the same situation. And got on with there life.. Gives me hope.