How to respond to my church-going friends (who think being gay is a sin)?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    Hey guys...could use some advice. I'm finally telling most of my church-going friends (who think being gay is a sin). Well, I was at a party tonight and one of my friends cornered me and started asking questions like "do you think Satan created this lie in your head about being gay?" and things like that. Needless to say, I couldn't wait to leave! So how do I respond to questions like that? I don't want to give up these friends so I want to respond in a loving way.

    Thanks in advance!
    Brad icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    Realistically I could never in any regard have people who judge me like this in my life.

    Tell them to respect your life and to respect you. That's the best I got.

    But seriously I'd kick someone like that to the curb of my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 4:10 AM GMT
    Well, Ezekiel was pretty plain spoken, and made no mention of gay people when he spoke god's word about Sodom's Sin.

    "New International Version (©1984)
    "'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.

    New Living Translation (©2007)
    Sodom's sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness, while the poor and needy suffered outside her door.

    English Standard Version (©2001)
    Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.

    New American Standard Bible (©1995)
    "Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had arrogance, abundant food and careless ease, but she did not help the poor and needy.

    GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
    This is what your sister Sodom has done wrong. She and her daughters were proud that they had plenty of food and had peace and security. They didn't help the poor and the needy.

    King James Bible
    Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

    American King James Version
    Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

    American Standard Version
    Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom: pride, fulness of bread, and prosperous ease was in her and in her daughters; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

    Bible in Basic English
    Truly, this was the sin of your sister Sodom: pride, a full measure of food, and the comforts of wealth in peace, were seen in her and her daughters, and she gave no help to the poor or to those in need.

    Douay-Rheims Bible
    Behold this was the iniquity of Sodom thy sister, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance, and the idleness of her, and of her daughters: and they did not put forth their hand to the needy, and to the poor.

    Darby Bible Translation
    Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom: pride, fulness of bread, and careless ease was in her and in her daughters, but she did not strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

    English Revised Version
    Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom; pride, fulness of bread, and prosperous ease was in her and in her daughters; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

    Webster's Bible Translation
    Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

    World English Bible
    Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, fullness of bread, and prosperous ease was in her and in her daughters; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

    Young's Literal Translation
    Lo, this hath been the iniquity of Sodom thy sister, Arrogancy, fulness of bread, and quiet ease, Have been to her and to her daughters, And the hand of the afflicted and needy She hath not strengthened."

    Yeah right, it was all about being gay. O.o


    Nope.

    -Doug, a christian
  • Goofeyman

    Posts: 199

    Apr 03, 2011 4:11 AM GMT
    I know exactly what your talking about.....I'm a christian...my brother did the same thing to me....except he used a scripture that condemns homosexuality...

    I responded to him in that I said that being a christian and being gay is a very complex issue...the rest of the family understands me...

    My old church, they threw the book at me...their bible...

    My experience is those who are willing to actually listen to your issue, go for it...those others...just pray for them..and just say hi.

    that's what i did and do...

    it marks for being a valuable living experience....for me...anyway..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 4:13 AM GMT
    A lot of other things are, but gay is not one of the seven deadly sins. Interesting forbearance.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 4:16 AM GMT
    I hate that. I get this from my parents, especially my mom. She's has said some pretty fucked up things to me too. It's never easy to deal with. You just have to say it wasn't a choice, it is who I am. You can get more religious back fire on them, but they tend to be very closed minded. Good Luck Brad icon_smile.gif be strong!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 4:36 AM GMT
    NCReal06 saidI hate that. I get this from my parents, especially my mom. She's has said some pretty fucked up things to me too. It's never easy to deal with. You just have to say it wasn't a choice, it is who I am. You can get more religious back fire on them, but they tend to be very closed minded. Good Luck Brad icon_smile.gif be strong!


    thanks man! 'preciate it icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    "you can't remove with reason that which wasn't placed with reason."
    I can't imagine there is any reasonable response to claims like that.
    Good luck.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 03, 2011 5:26 AM GMT
    A true friend will accept you the way you are. The ones who will not accept you being gay....are not true friends. Your walk with your Creator is only between you and your Creator. No other opinion matters. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    You can always find new friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    Brad, if they are not interested in your take on it and are just doing what they claim is witnessing for Christ, don't bother. It is a never ending headache where nothing good will come of it and eventually, you will have to cut them off, sadly.

    If they are truly wondering (most who do would not word it like that), then what you might point out to them what your perspective is. If they site the Leviticus passages, you might want to clue them on in the fact that book was written by a Jewish priest and was a guideline of rules for the Israelites at the time. You might also point out that same book talks about how eating swine and shrimp and the like are also abominations (when was the last time they had eaten at Red Lobster?)

    Finally, you might also point out to them that Jesus himself said absolutely nothing about homosexuality and if in fact he is their savior, then it is an issue that need not be debated other than supposition, which them becomes only a matter of opinion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 7:41 AM GMT
    Hmmm well because I have spent quite some time trying to reconcile my religious beliefs in part with my sexual orientation, while trying to come to terms with it. I have asked various minsters and what not, but the reality is that many of them are not prepared to address this question, in a meaningful way for us. I went in search of more informative sources because "well the bible says its a sin..." (guess what it doesn't have very positive views of marriage or even straight relations at points either... does that mean we just accept them as sinful? Apparently not). I feel much of the christian argument is very flawed in its simplistic discriminatory stance of homosexuality as purely sinful simply because a translation of the bible contains a line that says so. Anyways in my searching the best site I have found was:
    http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibl.htm

    I won't cover everything, but it tries to presents the various opinions, Biblical passages that condemn homosexuality and tries to address what they mean and in what context they are presented.

    I hope this helps!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 7:54 AM GMT
    I would say "I don't see how any god who would condemn two people for loving each other could be worthy of worship," and leave it at that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 8:14 AM GMT
    According to the bible, it is a sin.
    It is one of hundreds of sins. It is not the big bad sin that some bible-thumpers make it out to be. It is not one of the seven deadly sins.

    It's fun to remind the bible-belt folks who love God, Country, and Football that their barbeque and their football are horrible sins.
    Actually, watching football on Sunday instead of keeping it holy is a horrible sin, and they should burn in hell for their transgressions icon_twisted.gif
    Slavery is perfectly acceptable in the bible, even selling your brother into slavery isn't so awful. (Some of the musical theater homos can sing you songs about it.)
    Disobedience to one's parents is against one of the commandments, so anyone who ever fought with his parents has a lot of explaining to do.

    I'm not christian, so I have fun at some christians' expense. I tell them how Jesus was gay. It explains why he spent most of his time in the company of other men (12 of them), his hag (Mary Magdelane), and his mom (who coincidentally shares the name of a gay icon). On his last night before death, he spent the day at brunch and giving his friends pedicures.


    If you're concerned about what your religious friends think (if you don't think it's an oxymoron), tell them that Jesus went among the sinners preaching love.
    If that doesn't work, look for better friends who are willing to love you and not pass judgement on you (isn't that for god to do anyways?).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 8:18 AM GMT
    Hey Brad,

    I have been going through the same thing as we speak. There are lots of ways to confuse the issue, but in my opinion it really comes down to one question: How does Brad want to live his own life? You only get one shot to make your story. Make it one you love to tell.

    I spent a number of years in a gay to straight conversion program. And while I made some strides there, it ultimately was not sustainable for me. It didn't get me on a life path where I was comfortable. Others in that program felt differently.

    When I made the decision to question the church on this issue just about all of my church community dropped me. Gays are the lepers or the unclean of the evangelical community. A few stuck by me and for those I'm thankful. I don't think the nature/nurture discussion is all that relevant. What matters is that you are authoring your life story so that you love to tell it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 8:18 AM GMT
    I don't think you can reason with them about whether homosexuality is a sin or not, regardless of how many bible quotes you throw at them. If you want them as friends you'll just have to be comfortable with discussing your 'sins'.

    I generally like to ask them "Are you God?" And if they say "No" I tell them that my sins are between me and God, should he happen to exist.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 8:28 AM GMT
    i grew up with those folks and so many of them are indeed the very salt of the earth. . . . oh, how many revival meetings have I attended . . .

    but they are wrong, and so this will hurt you . . .

    . . . you need to cut the cord now, and not look back . . .

    . . . a good antidote would be a Happy Goodman's video
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 03, 2011 8:53 AM GMT
    I would remind your church-going friends that catholic church was involved in most outrageous crimes since the dawn of time....such as crusades wars, cooperation with Nazi Germany, robbing Jews money and participating in holocaust. Then I would tell them about numerous scandals in catholic church involving pedophiles and raping little boys and girls. Don't judge, because you can be judged too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 9:05 AM GMT
    www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.com good summaries and list of comeback agruments against the fundementalist attitude.

    Also really important to remember the the majority of Christians are actually OK about the whole gay thing. I even have a few Fundie Christian friends who diasgree with their demonination stance which is a great start!! icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 9:32 AM GMT
    It's their right to behold such a belief, right or wrong, as it is yours to disagree, why do you have to say anything at all?

    I may say can you imagine the outcry, if us homosexuals breed all that misery the breeders do, the outcry would be deafening, and how God must hang his head in shame with things done in his name. But then the gay Community is not perfect or free of sin either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 9:37 AM GMT
    heybreaux saidtell them that you had a conversation with God and he said it was OK. If they don't believe you, tell them that they need to have faith icon_biggrin.gif


    WINNER!
  • Twenty_Someth...

    Posts: 1388

    Apr 03, 2011 9:37 AM GMT
    When religious people tell me I'm going to hell if I am gay, I respond "I know, I'm driving the chariot! Anyone want a first class ticket?"
  • stee99

    Posts: 317

    Apr 03, 2011 9:44 AM GMT
    you cant reason with them, theres none so blind that will not see.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 10:14 AM GMT
    hum .... i do not involve myself into these topics with the very few christian friends i have ....

    and my catholic close friends and family ... they love me JUST the way I am .... and if i might say .... my big brother told me when i came out to him: You've done nothing wrong, you've done no sin, you're not wrong.

    hahaha so, trying to get reason out of intense fanatic religious people is pointless icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 10:49 AM GMT

    Continually answer their questions with questions. Ask them how is it they can ask such a question without judging, personally condemning, or without loving unconditionally, each of which is a much bigger sin in Christianity.