Gay Bully Stories

  • jkwbb004

    Posts: 191

    Apr 03, 2011 3:33 PM GMT
    Hey Guys Im doing a project for my class on gay bullying and Im look for some personal stories to add along side mine. If you have one youd like to share for me please post away....

    Heres mine....

    II knew at a very young age that I was gay. I came out to my mother when I was 14. I was blessed to be born in a household that is so accepting of everyone. My mother has been my rock and has stuck up for me when nobody else gave me a chance.

    Middle school was hell for me. I was tormented on a daily basis. I was pushed into bushes called “fag, queer, and homo” (that’s just the tame names), shoved into lockers, pushed onto the teacher’s desk and bruised my skull, pushed down the stairs and have hundreds of objects hurled at me. Me and my mom both tried multiple times to tell the administration and the teachers at the school, but they did nothing, often saying “it builds character” or “boys will be boys”.

    My grades which were always A’s and B’s, took a dive. I missed most days of school just out of fear of torment. My mom noticed a strong shift in my moral. I was usually happy go lucky and loved life, but had suddenly hated life and found myself contemplating suicide at age 13.

    I remember one bully in particular that made my life hell. He made it his special job to torment me to tears daily. He punched me in the stomach daily and throwing a textbook at me was unheard of. The worst part of this bully was that he lived in my neighborhood. He made my life at home just as bad, if not worse than school.

    I could never understand what I did to this bully or why he was doing this to me. He got suspended multiple times but kept coming back to school and would come back worse than before. It became to a point where telling about an incident was worse than not telling. I survived needless to say and he recently reached out to me to apologize.
  • Intercoastal

    Posts: 54

    Apr 03, 2011 4:02 PM GMT
    well like you i came out at an early age was sent to fostercare instead and placed in a group home never had problems there and was out in school played on sports teams all trough school but was known as the gay guy that can throw a punch
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 4:22 PM GMT
    Treejock1 saidwell like you i came out at an early age was sent to fostercare instead and placed in a group home never had problems there and was out in school played on sports teams all trough school but was known as the gay guy that can throw a punch

    I transfered from a private prep school to a local public high when I was 16, by my choice. I hated private school. But kids that age don't accept new students well, and I had some problems in my new school.

    So I was in the cafeteria, and a bully at our long table was messing with my ice cream cup, sticking stuff into it. I said: "Here, you wanna play with my ice cream?" And I shoved the cup right into his face.

    He challenged me to a fight, and I said fine, let's go outside. We went out onto the lawn, while our classmates all crowded against the windows to watch. I delivered a few hits to his face, before a teacher came out and hauled us both off to the Principle's office.

    We were threatened with suspension and all kinds of punishment. I calmly said I was the victim, and if punished, my parents would sue everybody in sight (and they could have, and their names well-known as local politicians). The Principle paused, and let us both off with a warning.

    After that the bully was very deferential to me. As were other students, who realized you didn't mess with this new guy. I hate to "pull rank" but if you are a jerk, I can return the favor. Otherwise, I can be very agreeable.
  • jkwbb004

    Posts: 191

    Apr 03, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    I was always so shrimpy in middle school though. I was on adderall and it dint let me eat much I looked like a toothpick with legs. Alll the other kids were much bigger and tougher so even if I did fight back, Id get my ass kicked.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 4:59 PM GMT
    Your story is a familiar one, although, at least in my day, a "faggot" was anyone who the bullies could get away with tormenting. It didn't have anything to do with sexuality. The school staff was completely indifferent to it unless actual weapons and reportable injuries were involved. (And in those days, that meant broken bones or lacerations requiring more than a couple of stitches.)

    For me, it pretty much stopped the day I turned around and decked one of them. There were plenty of smaller kids for them to pick on.

    Many years later, I do have occasional contact with a few of those guys. (The craziest ones are dead.) One of them actually wanted to reminisce about "all those fun times we used to have." He seemed completely oblivious to the fact his "fun times" were living hell for some of us. (OK, this guy is your basic 300 lb hulk with IQ around 51.) Two of the others are always excessively nice when we meet and always seem to feel a bit guilty about things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 7:45 PM GMT
    hmmm grade-school bullies... where to start.

    I guess it started when I went back to school halfway through grade 5, I had been home schooled by my father (who was the primary care giver which if its 'new' ground to cover for a man today, imagine what that was like 20 years ago). Anyways I was the odd man out so I kept to myself and kept my head down, but it didn't help that I was significantly further along in my studies than most of the other kids. I did develop a few friendships that kept me out of major trouble with the bullies for the moment (they made the uniformed "you are gay comments" and teasing) but that ended when I again moved schools.

    For grade 6 I went into the late french immersion program, this time I was clearly marked as that kid that is the bottom rung of the social ladder. I was tall for my age (by grade 7 I would hit 6 ft for the start of the year) and I was very thin in appearance (I was under the 100 lb mark). Its started out progressively, but never became physical (I was a foot taller than all the other boys which I believe was the only saving grace). It would be things like names, the gay slurs, missing items or assignments from my desk, my coat would go missing at lunch (especially if it was raining) and things of that nature. I was very active in separating myself from the others to avoid as many situations as possible.

    Highschool eventually rolled around and already on the first day I knew things would be different, I didn't realize that it wouldn't be for the better. The phycological aspect of the bullying was about to get worse again. It became a daily endeavour of the popular kids and the jocks (often one and the same groups) to tell me repeatedly though ever class that I was a fag, or some lovely comment about my sexuality which I was still very much suppressing and could not tell my parents or anyone about. Unlike the uninformed kids that they had been a few years earlier, they had gained just enough knowledge of gay sex acts, Biblical literature (very religious community), and had evolved in their verbal and phycological abuse techniques.

    This continued through the first half of the year, I secluded myself as much as possible as others found the social pressures too much to cope with and my presence in any group was unwelcome. One day when I was trying to get something from my locker, one of the higher social climbers tried to take the abuse from the psychological to the physical. I was taller but definitely was a waif of a person in his eyes (I was around 120 lbs and 6'1"). Anyways he shoved me into the locker so that I smashed my head on the side of door frame, and then proceeded to spin me around, shoving my shoulder closest to him into the lockers. He started with the usual gay slander and saying he was going to take care of me for being such a disgrace to nature.

    I had enough of this and decided that I wasn't going to just take whatever he was going to do. I grabbed him, and slammed my knee into his groin. He did try to resist, but I was much quicker than him and I think he was surprised by my strength. He buckled over and I told him not to touch me again. That seemed to stop any physical actions; but I stayed in the sight of a teacher at all times from then on, worked on various projects in private classrooms that were kept locked by the teachers, or at the library. However, the taunting continued and it never went away.

    There were some incidences where I would be passed a note very obviously, specifically in classes where it would be expected that if you got caught you would have to read it out loud. 3 times with different teachers, who were apparently ignorant of what was going on, I was asked to read out various declarations of "I'm gay" which were written on the pages handed to me. There were times where I would be accused of peeping on the guys during changing for gym, or touching them inappropriately. I was asked repeatedly about what it was like to get fucked in the ass, or to eat cum, if I was in love with various members of the schools football team and wanted their dicks those kinds of things. 5 years of daily reminders of something that I hated about myself and wanted so badly to prove them wrong about (simply to deny them satisfaction of knowing it was true), and it made self acceptance a very long process there after.

  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Apr 03, 2011 9:39 PM GMT
    I'm a bit unsure of the original experience. The main bully was suspended--but you said the school didn't do anything. Did they do that? Grant you, it was unsuccessful, that's for sure, that suspension.

    I was rarely bullied. But you're looking at a man who had facial hair in body hair in early fifth grade, hit six feet tall by sixth grade and had gray hair by graduation. I was always bigger than most of them. And when they did try to bully me, calling me the usual epithets, I usually would look at the shrimp (and they were always smaller than me) and remark something along of the lines of "small man disease." This would usually throw them into a frenzy, and they had to beat me some how. I'd just smile. I'd walk away. And do what I wanted to do.

    I used to volunteer in high schoo to work with the special education classrooms. I was the only guy who would do that, it would take every fiber in my being to not want to beat the living heck out of some yahoo who made fun of those kids--my brother wasn't so forgiving. He was older than me and he'd always beat up the bullies, which, to me, kinda defeated the purpose. Two wrongs don't make a right. But I knew where he was coming from. He was following through on what I wished I had the guts to do. I was such the pacifist (though, interesting, I took boxing classes and martial arts, but wouldn't touch another individual); he so wasn't.

    I teach now and I find I have to be on full alert to stop bullying. It's interesting--I think many people don't see it. My last placement outright ignored it, even yelling at teachers for wasting the administration's time. It's a sad world. This district seems better, but I'm just starting out.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    It seems like times have gotten tougher. I was never bullied, never bullied anyone, and for the most part didn't see much of that going on.

    Nowdays seems more and more like schools are the "Lord of the Flies".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2011 10:05 PM GMT
    sdgman saidIt seems like times have gotten tougher. I was never bullied, never bullied anyone, and for the most part didn't see much of that going on.

    Nowdays seems more and more like schools are the "Lord of the Flies".

    I think it depends on where you live. I was raised in a very conservative community that is quite religious. I think part of any experience like this stems from the underlying homophobia of the community which kids pick up on and then emulate. I think as society changes, this will change and I remain hopeful that in todays age where we think of ourselves as so progressive, there will be change.
  • jkwbb004

    Posts: 191

    Apr 03, 2011 10:36 PM GMT
    JJCrush said
    I think it depends on where you live..

    You hit the nail on the head. I grew up in Charlotte, NC. It is a big city, but it is still in the bible belt. A lot of the kids that bullied me did so because they were taught that "God doesn't like fags". Most of the people that did bully me though arent very succesful and only one of them went to college(on a football scholarship). The one that gave me hell turned out to be bisexual and was jealous of how open I was about it and how my family accepted me.
  • Intercoastal

    Posts: 54

    Apr 04, 2011 11:26 AM GMT
    its not the size of the dog its the size of the fight in the dog handle your shit dont get punked demand respect for your self
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 04, 2011 11:58 AM GMT
    I have never been the type who was obviously gay, but it was not that difficult to tell in high school, because I was always with girls, had nice grades, liked arts and dressed elegant, instead of the typical street style. And for high school all of that is incredibly gay, so as you might presume often the more jocky boys would tease me, call me names and other stuff. It never got brutal, I was never physically bullied or anything like that, but I took it difficult, because I am a very social person and not being liked by others can kill me icon_smile.gif

    However when I was a senior, things changed - I became friends with many other seniors and the bullying was almost over. But despite that fact, I had some pretty tough times, when I would skip school for days because I was ashamed to go. And nobody really knows about that, except for you guys... : )) It is always difficult to admit your weaknesses, so my advice to anyone who is going through such times would be to just suck it up and try to be at their best.
    Life is full of bullies, you can't escape them - but you can stop giving shit about their opinion icon_smile.gif

    PS: It is an interesting fact that one of the meanest bullies I have ever had, ended up giving me a blowjob. Life can be ironic icon_smile.gif
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 04, 2011 12:06 PM GMT
    Whenever I came across bullies, I fight back. I might be gay, but I am no coward. FIGHT THE POWER!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 04, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    I was bullied alot in school. But not for being Gay, I got it for being Bi-racial, for being quite and just cause kids are dicks to one another.

    But I always fought back, I had an older brother I would wrestle and fight with. I would back down to him and be damned that I back down to sum school yard prick. But thats not to say violence is an answer or that everyone should resort to fighting. Its just the rout I took for a while.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 04, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    The really serious bullying started at the Catholic University in Lisbon, Portugal. I used to stay at a students residence. There were about 30 of us in the same building. The guy in the room next to me was really good looking, and I couldn't help admiring his body whenever he had his shirt off. I think he must have noticed and from then on made it his mission to embarrass me in public every opprtunity he could get. I got pushed, shoved, verbally abused and publicly humiliated in fron odf my friends. I avoided him like the plague, but at the same time I'd fantasise about him (go figure!!).

    In the third year, we ended up in the same class for a History subject. There were only about 10 of us taking that course, and he was in it. I thought of dropping the subject until my final year, but then I decided I wasn't going to let him affect my studies. I was surprised to discover he never bullied me in that class, and because there was a lot of group work, we eventually ended up working together in the same group. We gradually became more comfortable around each other, and just before the exam, he knocked on my door so that we could test each other in preparation. I think he got to know me better, and all the bullying stopped.

    The best was when he knocked on my door one weekend and asked me to rub some cream on his back and shoulders because he was sunburnt. Today, he lives in Portugal and I live in South Africa, and we still keep in touch. He knows now that I am gay, but he has never apologised for the bullying. I still have a crush on him.