What do you guys like.. Do you like to feel that your keeping your partner safe... Or do you want a partner who makes you feel safe.. OR have it both ways..

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    Apr 04, 2011 5:13 PM GMT
    ?
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    Apr 04, 2011 6:25 PM GMT
    Elements of both perspectives hold true in my relationship. We both have strengths and weaknesses and we complement one another pretty well. There are times that I like to have someone to lean on, and it took me a long time to get thereā€¦ I was painfully stubborn about independence for a long time.
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    Apr 04, 2011 6:27 PM GMT

    Both. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 04, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    Yea I think both is needed for any relationship.

    The real question is would you prefer a guy who makes you feel safe, or makes you feel dirty.

    Both is not an answer.

    Mine is safe.
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    Same.. i like the feeling off being a protecter but i also wanna feel protected.. they both feel good having a person you can rely on and someone relying on you its total bliss.. but you gotta also be able to stand on your own to feet.... otherwise its a turn off
  • Serch85

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    Apr 05, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    andrew_111 saidSame.. i like the feeling off being a protecter but i also wanna feel protected.. they both feel good having a person you can rely on and someone relying on you its total bliss.. but you gotta also be able to stand on your own to feet.. otherwise its a turn off..


    If it's not like that there's the risk that it leads to dependence or a quite unstable situation from one or the other...
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    Serch85 said
    andrew_111 saidSame.. i like the feeling off being a protecter but i also wanna feel protected.. they both feel good having a person you can rely on and someone relying on you its total bliss.. but you gotta also be able to stand on your own to feet.. otherwise its a turn off..


    If it's not like that there's the risk that it leads to dependence or a quite unstable situation from one or the other...



    Yep thats very true
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:40 PM GMT
    Both
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    I would like my partner to make me feel safe icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 05, 2011 4:19 PM GMT
    Naturally I want to make my partner feel safe (after all my name means protector). He on the other hand is very independent-stubbornly so-and believes that we should be tower blocks for one another which in turn makes me feel safe.
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    Apr 05, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    I want to feel safe with my partner and I want him to feel safe with me. I want him to know that I can be trusted with his deepest darkest fears and secrets - that I would never use what I know of him against him or for my advantage, that I will not intentionally harm him (emotionally or physically), that I am his number 1 fan, that I am his champion...

    And I expect the same in return.
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    Apr 05, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    I flip-flop.
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    Apr 05, 2011 5:49 PM GMT
    Both. We are both men after all...
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    Apr 05, 2011 5:51 PM GMT
    _Mohammed_ saidBoth. We are both men after all...



    ^
    |

    this

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    Apr 05, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    I am an absolute tiger about looking after my partner. As I was with my late partner. It's how I was built, how I was trained, how I spent my career -- concerned about the welfare of others before my own.

    I know my partner cares for me, as well. But I do tend to brush him off a little, I don't like anyone fussing over me. As I can take care of him, I can take care of myself. I have to remind myself he needs to do that with me a little, too, as I need to do that with him, to have that satisfaction for himself.

    But I completely go into "mother bear" mode with him. You even look at him wrong and I'm ready to deck you.

    That happened at Pride last summer. This guy said something I overheard as insulting & threatening to him at our booth. I jumped right in front of his face and was ready to flatten him, until my partner pulled me back and said it was OK. And the poor guy looked like a scared rabbit. You don't wanna EVER see me in attack mode.

    My partner is my first & only priority, my mission. Those are the terms in which I think. In "peacetime" we each assume our equal roles -- he does half of the work, the stuff he does best, and I do my things.

    But when a crisis confronts us, I take charge. I saved his life twice, as I did my late partner's, and my father's. And a few soldiers' decades ago. That's my job.

    So do I keep my partner safe, per your question? If I didn't, I wouldn't be worthy of having a partner.
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    Apr 05, 2011 8:07 PM GMT
    Chainers said

    The real question is would you prefer a guy who makes you feel safe, or makes you feel dirty.

    Both is not an answer.


    I think the real thing is finding a a guy that you can feel safe showing your dirty side too. Especially if you can protect that side of your relationship from others.
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    Apr 05, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    I get ya..... like the big spoon/little spoon? I like to feel like I am the big one in this case - the "hero" of the two.... pfft, such an attention seeker thing to say but thats just how I feel. Although a switch every so often is in order, but I do hope that when I get a partner we are very much equal... its not about power/control/big or little spoon really, i want it to be balanced.
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    Apr 05, 2011 8:19 PM GMT
    both for sure.