Gay/Bi Guys in Straight Relationships

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    Apr 05, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    Now I know there have been a lot of threads about this, but personally, I know several guys on RJ that are in this situation. Having been in a loving straight relationship for over 27 years, I think I can safely say that I know the hurt and anxiety that many of you are/have gone through.

    I would like to form a sort of loose group of guys interested in sharing and helping each other get through the rough times and use each other as support and encouragement............

    Any guys interested, please drop me an IM or email and I will respond.......in the meantime, stay strong, life is good and there is sunshine out there..............................Keithicon_wink.gif

    I'm hoping that by guys posting here that are in this situation, it will create something of a depository for guys to use that need help/support.
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    Homowardbound saidNow I know there have been a lot of threads about this, but personally, I know several guys on RJ that are in this situation. Having been in a loving straight relationship for over 27 years, I think I can safely say that I know the hurt and anxiety that many of you are/have gone through.

    I would like to form a sort of loose group of guys interested in sharing and helping each other get through the rough times and use each other as support and encouragement............

    Any guys interested, please drop me an IM or email and I will respond.......in the meantime, stay strong, life is good and there is sunshine out there..............................Keithicon_wink.gif


    Hi Keith, do you feel that if you had chosen to be with a man rather than a women you would have had a life with less struggle, hurt and anxiety? Please consider all the other aspects that form you as a human being, whatever that might be in your case maybe your family, believes, friends etc. etc. This is a serious question, because I don't see myself spending my life with a man, for a million reasons. I would love to be with a woman, because I love them and they love me and we understand each other so much better than I understand men. My biggest challenge however is 'the sex', which I believe is not shallow because it is an important part of any relationship.

    Would love to hear your answer and others' (non-judgmental) ones too icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:43 PM GMT
    Well, I have always loved both sexes and yours is a valid question. I am always taken to a quote by Montgomery Clift, the well known Hollywood actor who was an admitted homosexual: " I love women, but I love sleeping with men".

    Life has no easy answers and some walls are higher and harder to scale. As far as being happier had I found a man of my dreams at a young age? Yes and no. I would have found inner peace much earlier but who is to say what the future may have held....

    I have been extremely happy with my wife and kids in many ways, and in other ways I have been miserable because of my diverse sexuality...I chose the route to take and I have accepted it. Now I am changing that route to realize my other 'half'. Is there pain and heartaches? Yes, but in the end, I think it is for the best............hope this helps.................Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    Homowardbound saidWell, I have always loved both sexes and yours is a valid question. I am always taken to a quote by Montgomery Clift, the well known Hollywood actor who was an admitted homosexual: " I love women, but I love sleeping with men".

    Life has no easy answers and some walls are higher and harder to scale. As far as being happier had I found a man of my dreams at a young age? Yes and no. I would have found inner peace much earlier but who is to say what the future may have held....

    I have been extremely happy with my wife and kids in many ways, and in other ways I have been miserable because of my diverse sexuality...I chose the route to take and I have accepted it. Now I am changing that route to realize my other 'half'. Is there pain and heartaches? Yes, but in the end, I think it is for the best............hope this helps.................Keithicon_wink.gif


    Thank you for your honest answer! It is very helpful and clarifying as well, I did not know you are attracted to both men and women.
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    well, sexually, I have pretty much worn out my attraction to women. Guys are my preference but I do still love the ladies and can appreciate them intellectually as well as for their physical beauty....but sex, now? Guys, thanks............Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    Homowardbound saidwell, sexually, I have pretty much worn out my attraction to women. Guys are my preference but I do still love the ladies and can appreciate them intellectually as well as for their physical beauty....but sex, now? Guys, thanks............Keithicon_wink.gif


    Maybe I ll get tired of guys sexually as well some day and just marry me some nice lady :p



    (*Wishful thinking*!)
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    Apr 05, 2011 3:58 PM GMT
    I'm not sure it is that easy, perhaps learniing to live with yourself as a diversely sexual person is the first step. Are you in a straight relationship at present?

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    Apr 05, 2011 4:02 PM GMT
    Homowardbound saidI'm not sure it is that easy, perhaps learniing to live with yourself as a diversely sexual person is the first step. Are you in a straight relationship at present?



    Well, I don't even think I am a diversely sexual person to be honest. The women that make me horny are only those that appear in my wet dreams somehow. But otherwise a girl's touch just makes me freeze! I had one straight relationship, when I was 13 and she broke up with me because I did not touch her, nor kiss her... so there you have it LOL. Other than that, I never had any relationships.
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    Apr 05, 2011 4:14 PM GMT
    I think the first mistake many of us make is trying to categorize who and what we are rather than understanding that we are truly unique and very complex beings. When we pigeon hole ourselves, we then attempt, usually very unsuccessfully, to live up to the label with which we have tagged ourselves. Look at yourself as a guy with sexuality, just like every other guy. Then take it from there and learn to be comforable and happy with who you are and what you enjoy.....the first step in a long road. The outcome, while not necessarily easy, is in your hands alone...................Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Apr 05, 2011 4:26 PM GMT
    Homowardbound saidI think the first mistake many of us make is trying to categorize who and what we are rather than understanding that we are truly unique and very complex beings. When we pigeon hole ourselves, we then attempt, usually very unsuccessfully, to live up to the label with which we have tagged ourselves. Look at yourself as a guy with sexuality, just like every other guy. Then take it from there and learn to be comforable and happy with who you are and what you enjoy.....the first step in a long road. The outcome, while not necessarily easy, is in your hands alone...................Keithicon_wink.gif


    This sounds really wise, thank you! I just hope that while I am looking for happiness the great moments will overshadow the less great moments I ll run into.
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    Apr 05, 2011 7:25 PM GMT
    Life is full of great and not so great moments and most of them are not about our sexuality...................icon_smile.gifKeith