Adoption or Surrogacy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2011 12:42 PM GMT
    For those of you who are interested in having children at some point...

    Would you pursue adoption, or surrogacy?

    If adoption, do you have any preferences/ideal in the sort of child you adopt? I gather it's unlikely you will be able to adopt a new baby. Would you consider fostering before adoption? What sort of age range would you be interested in adopting?

    If surrogacy, would you prefer the surrogate to be a stranger, or would it be a friend or family member? Would you try and do it medically or via the infamous 'turkey baster' method? If you're in a relationship, how will you decide whose sperm to use?

    Would you ever try conceiving a child naturally with a friend (whether a lesbian or just a straight girlfriend).

    Would like to hear guys opinions and the reasons why.

    I'm not ready for kids just yet, but am starting to think about it because I think whichever method it's probably quite a long and difficult process...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    This may be a dead thread, but I've considered both surrogacy and adoption.. they both are so expensive, especially as a single parent... have you done any research about them? What are your thoughts on the subject?
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    Dec 31, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    I'd want a child with my own genes. I'd take a stranger with better genes over someone I know.
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    Dec 31, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    As in.. a surrogate mother / egg donor with good genes?
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    Dec 31, 2011 3:48 AM GMT
    swimguychicago saidI'd want a child with my own genes. I'd take a stranger with better genes over someone I know.


    Perhaps I'm too hung over and reading this oddly but, aren't those contradictory?
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    Dec 31, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    jayp said
    swimguychicago saidI'd want a child with my own genes. I'd take a stranger with better genes over someone I know.


    Perhaps I'm too hung over and reading this oddly but, aren't those contradictory?


    Yeah.. I was wondering the same thing actually.. I didn't understand
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:13 AM GMT
    Adoption: Expect the child to eventually request contact with his or her maternal parents.
    Surrogate: Expect the child to eventually request contact with his or her maternal mother.

    <-- Adopted, and loves and stays in contact with maternal mother more than adoptive mother.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Dec 31, 2011 4:16 AM GMT
    Black Market.
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:16 AM GMT
    PS. I just called her (maternal mother) and she's milking a goat. She'll call me back in a few. icon_lol.gif
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 31, 2011 4:21 AM GMT
    By the time I reach the age where I'm consdering fatherhood, I fully expect to be able to clone and grow a baby version of myself in some sort of pod (probably in Japan or Dubai).
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    I'd like to adopt a young child under the age of three.

    For the longest time I was against raising kids--last year I made an abrupt 180 on the issue, and I haven't yet figured out all the details or my preferences. I'm open to adopting nearly any child regardless of age, but ideally I'd like a youngster to nuture, educate starting at an early age.
  • monstapex

    Posts: 478

    Dec 31, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    You're men! just knock a girl up and have you own kid!
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    Dec 31, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    tripleconjunction said
    jayp said
    swimguychicago saidI'd want a child with my own genes. I'd take a stranger with better genes over someone I know.


    Perhaps I'm too hung over and reading this oddly but, aren't those contradictory?


    Yeah.. I was wondering the same thing actually.. I didn't understand


    Not really.

    He wants a child with his own genes, meaning surrogacy.
    He wants a stranger with better genes over someone he knows, meaning he won't necessarily choose to have the kid with someone he knows.

    At least, that's my interpretation of it.
    I'd probably adopt kids, preferably under the age of 8. :S
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Dec 31, 2011 4:44 AM GMT
    Shawnathan saidConsider how much more wasteful you can justify being, knowing that you are not producing off-spring. A service to the Earth.

    The thought of cross pollination with my sister's partner of the future and my partner of the future has crossed my mind, but I do still think adoption would be a better option.

    Your argument is stupid.
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Dec 31, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    I'd go for surrogacy with a stranger. Some of my friends obviously offered me to be the surrogate, but I don't want them to look at my baby as theirs "also", that would be just awkward, for them and for me, and could be source of tension and conflicts with people I wanna keep very close.

    I'm also the "I'd like him to have my genes" type, so I'd still go for surrogacy, but it's still illegal here in the province of Quebec (I know, weird, heh?). I think the laws are being worked on in the moment though, it might change in a few years.

    I've been thinking about adoption too, but I'm still really worried about the genes thing. And also the "I wanna know my parents" thing. They won't necessarily want it, but they could (I know some adopted friends that don't care; they're still young though).

    So yeah, surrogacy with a stranger. I want kids icon_smile.gif



  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Dec 31, 2011 5:53 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidSurrogacy with a friend or relative, but with an egg you buy at the egg bank and medically performed. This way for legal purposes there cannot be anyone to come back to try and claim the baby is their's, not even the surrogate. A friend or relative sort of makes it more special for life, than just some stranger you pay and they move on.



    it'd be much later mind you
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    Dec 31, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidSurrogacy with a friend or relative, but with an egg you buy at the egg bank and medically performed. This way for legal purposes there cannot be anyone to come back to try and claim the baby is their's, not even the surrogate. A friend or relative sort of makes it more special for life, than just some stranger you pay and they move on. I would also like to do it medically so I could control the sex of the offspring.



    ^This. I really want to try to make this work in two to three years if possible.
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    Dec 31, 2011 6:06 AM GMT
    Trepeat saidBy the time I reach the age where I'm consdering fatherhood, I fully expect to be able to clone and grow a baby version of myself in some sort of pod (probably in Japan or Dubai).


    LOL. Sounds like a good idea.
  • martinaston

    Posts: 310

    Dec 31, 2011 10:29 AM GMT
    Everyone's comments are based on the word 'I want'.
    What about what the child wants? Fostering/adoption/surrogacy all have a heavy psychological time bomb for the child to deal with.
    Not to get into the whole 'my gay dad' argument, just remember to think not just of yourself but of the kid's future in your world.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2011 10:37 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidI don't want kids right now. If I do I will adopt. I'd feel better making one child's life better than bringing another one into the world.

    I agree. There's 7 billion of us already!
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    Dec 31, 2011 11:17 AM GMT
    I prefer surrogacy,but wouldn't mind adopting. If I were to Adopt a child they would have to be atleast ages 5 & down. I think it would be too weird to adopt a child that's like 10.