Communication

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2011 10:52 PM GMT
    Having all the attributes , funny, smart,and nice looking..... but cant hear well and now I wonder will my inability to hear keep me from finding a quality person? I have noticed the gay community is about perfection and well if you fall short in any way, your chances becomes less of finding that right guy.
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    Apr 07, 2011 10:55 PM GMT
    Hey! This is a genuinely good question!

    The answer is kind of simple really (in my eyes). As a child I impacted my ear wax to an extreme amount leaving me deaf for years. I can honestly say I've ran into some very, very awesome deaf people who lead relatively normal lives, including gay ones!

    So yes, I think you can, and I think you will.
    Granted, your filter will be a scope on our already small group of people but I have some faith that you will find that compassionate loving guy, even with the meager disability.
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    Apr 07, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    No, it will help you weed out the assholes, making your dating pool much higher quality than what the rest of us face. You'll know ahead of time whether your man is going to love you "in sickness and in health" - those of us who currently have no impairments have to find out the hard way.
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    Apr 08, 2011 1:20 AM GMT
    TrevorMark saidHey! This is a genuinely good question!

    The answer is kind of simple really (in my eyes). As a child I impacted my ear wax to an extreme amount leaving me deaf for years.


    -This isn't possible. The most you can have with a conductive loss is 50-60 dB HL, granted you had normal cochlear and retrocochlear function. It's not considered deaf.

    OP: I'm assuming the hearing loss is postlingual. You'll do just fine.
    +Hearing Aids are hot.
    +If you're really concerned about not wearing aids, go to a few aural rehab classes. Listening strategies help out tremendously, and they are usually simple concepts most people don't think about.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Apr 08, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidNo, it will help you weed out the assholes, making your dating pool much higher quality than what the rest of us face. You'll know ahead of time whether your man is going to love you "in sickness and in health" - those of us who currently have no impairments have to find out the hard way.


    I was going to post something like this.
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    Apr 08, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    Will you go on a date with me? icon_razz.gif
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Apr 08, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    I wouldn't have a problem dating a guy who was a little hard of hearing at all. BUT that is if they are possibly trying to do something about it. I don't mean that disrespectfully. My g.mother was becoming VERY hard of hearing and would NOT get a hearing aid. FOR any reason. It kept her from going to a lot of places she'd like to. ex. Church. So we'd have to scream to get her to hear us at times.
    My point.? I wouldn't mind but I don't want to scream for a bf to hear me. Well unless it's in the bedroom. But those are completely different cirCUMstances. icon_lol.gif
  • needleninja

    Posts: 713

    Apr 08, 2011 2:58 AM GMT
    i honestly dont see it as so much of a problem. there are days where i cant hear well and its just like: "well shit" :

    so yeah i understand how that is.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Apr 08, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    I don't know about that....if a guy's too perfect...I find them a turn off...For me an honest,funny, regular guy gets my attention...If their spending most of their time trying to get their hair just so or lookin at their reflection as we walk past store fronts...I'm out.....BUD
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 08, 2011 3:38 AM GMT
    i don't think it should keep you from finding a quality person, but it will keep you from ending up with anyone who'd be a big enough asshole to make it an issue so much so that he wouldn't be with you
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    Apr 08, 2011 12:19 PM GMT
    @ alonelyplanet, aww how sweet of you.

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    Apr 08, 2011 12:23 PM GMT
    @ DCEric and Paulflexes"No, it will help you weed out the assholes, making your dating pool much higher quality than what the rest of us face. You'll know ahead of time whether your man is going to love you "in sickness and in health" - those of us who currently have no impairments have to find out the hard way.

    I never have thought my hearing status could be a way to filter out undesirables? interesting point.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 08, 2011 12:25 PM GMT
    Anybody who would reject you because you have an issue with sound isn't worth a grain of salt! I assume you have taken the action necessary to try and improve your hearing (and or keep it from worsening)..

    You situation wouldn't slow me down if I were single and interested in you.
    I hope you find that many are the same. Sounds like you are a very nice guy and deserve someone who appreciates you.
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    Apr 08, 2011 12:34 PM GMT
    @ Deltalimen:

    Trevor Mark said:This isn't possible. The most you can have with a conductive loss is 50-60 dB HL, granted you had normal cochlear and retrocochlear function. It's not considered deaf.


    OP: I'm assuming the hearing loss is postlingual. You'll do just fine.
    +Hearing Aids are hot.
    +If you're really concerned about not wearing aids, go to a few aural rehab classes. Listening strategies help out tremendously, and they are usually simple concepts most people don't think about.

    You are correct regarding Conductive hearing loss.

    However,....
    Hearing loss depending on degree of audiological gain can be helpful.. If you have an understanding of the English spoken language. In my opinion, to say hearing aids would be good for any other purpose like environmental noises, I dont agree.

    Listening strategies in concept looks good on paper however in reality for the person of deafness, the brain power to utilize is astounding. that is why most people with hearing loss are very tired and exhausted.
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    Apr 08, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    I am pre-lingually deafened learned the English spoken language. Later on in life, I loss more of my hearing. I guess I should have stated that in the Topic. OOps icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 08, 2011 12:42 PM GMT
    LMAO. I was going to say expand your definition of the gay community to include those outside of the "inner circle" (you know, the A-list crowd and the wannabe's) and you should be fine. But paulflexes has a very good point.

    paulflexes saidNo, it will help you weed out the assholes, making your dating pool much higher quality than what the rest of us face. You'll know ahead of time whether your man is going to love you "in sickness and in health" - those of us who currently have no impairments have to find out the hard way.
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    Apr 08, 2011 12:54 PM GMT
    floridajockguy saidI am pre-lingually deafened learned the English spoken language. Later on in life, I loss more of my hearing. I guess I should have stated that in the Topic. OOps icon_biggrin.gif
    In other words, you just talk funny...no big deal...so do I (redneck accent). icon_lol.gif
    This wiki page explains your condition very well:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prelingual_deafness

    In my early 20's I dated a guy who had a very advanced case of this condition. Communicating was primitive and next to impossible at first, but after learning his body language there was almost no need for words.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 08, 2011 12:56 PM GMT
    That wouldn't be a problem for me. As far as I know, love is the universal language icon_lol.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 08, 2011 12:57 PM GMT
    paulflexes said you just talk funny...no big deal...so do I (redneck accent). icon_lol.gif


    Wow...something else you and I have in common. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 08, 2011 1:16 PM GMT
    malefeet said
    paulflexes said you just talk funny...no big deal...so do I (redneck accent). icon_lol.gif


    Wow...something else you and I have in common. icon_wink.gif


    ha ha very funnyicon_lol.gif
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    Apr 08, 2011 1:18 PM GMT
    floridajockguy saidI am pre-lingually deafened learned the English spoken language. Later on in life, I loss more of my hearing. I guess I should have stated that in the Topic. OOps icon_biggrin.gif


    I see a bigger picture now. I don't know your degree of hearing loss, and I haven't seen your audiogram. I do understand that hearing aids will only help a certain degree and is maximal for age related and noise related hearing loss. Listening fatigue is a very true theory.

    I will restate this one more time. Communication is ~80% non verbal.

    -I was at this ASL event last night taking attendance. I was amazed at the number of attractive HI young men there were. sidenote.
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    Apr 08, 2011 1:18 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidAnybody who would reject you because you have an issue with sound isn't worth a grain of salt! I assume you have taken the action necessary to try and improve your hearing (and or keep it from worsening)..

    You situation wouldn't slow me down if I were single and interested in you.
    I hope you find that many are the same. Sounds like you are a very nice guy and deserve someone who appreciates you.


    Thank you , your kind for saying that icon_smile.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 08, 2011 1:20 PM GMT
    floridajockguy said
    malefeet said
    paulflexes said you just talk funny...no big deal...so do I (redneck accent). icon_lol.gif


    Wow...something else you and I have in common. icon_wink.gif


    ha ha very funnyicon_lol.gif


    Well, mine is more of a "hick" accent than a redneck.....and yes, there is a difference. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 08, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    deltalimen said
    floridajockguy saidI am pre-lingually deafened learned the English spoken language. Later on in life, I loss more of my hearing. I guess I should have stated that in the Topic. OOps icon_biggrin.gif


    I see a bigger picture now. I don't know your degree of hearing loss, and I haven't seen your audiogram. I do understand that hearing aids will only help a certain degree and is maximal for age related and noise related hearing loss. Listening fatigue is a very true theory.

    I will restate this one more time. Communication is ~80% non verbal.

    -I was at this ASL event last night taking attendance. I was amazed at the number of attractive HI young men there were. sidenote.


    Thank you for you comment and side bar comment ;) (I will take that as a compliment)

    How ever to answer a more pressing concern of mine; is something I am debating if I will do and post another forum question all together...debating now lol
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    Apr 08, 2011 1:44 PM GMT
    malefeet said
    floridajockguy said
    malefeet said
    paulflexes said you just talk funny...no big deal...so do I (redneck accent). icon_lol.gif


    Wow...something else you and I have in common. icon_wink.gif


    ha ha very funnyicon_lol.gif


    Well, mine is more of a "hick" accent than a redneck.....and yes, there is a difference. icon_lol.gif
    Naw there ain't no diff'rence. Y'all hicks jist wanna thank thar is. icon_razz.gif