Getting Frustrated...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    Lately me and my boy friend have been distant when it comes to being intimate. We seem to do lots of things together like work out, go to the movies, go out to eat, hang out and even shower together. But when I imply intimacy he's been making up excuses. He has been working a lot --I'll give him that. However, he seems to make time and effort to do other things like house hold chores, helping out friends and things of that nature on his days off but when it comes to being intimate there's no effort. His excuses are like "I'm tired", "I have work early", "My stomach is upset", or "we'll do it later" and then he'll conveniently forget about it and then it will be too late in the night. It's been about 3 or 4 weeks since we've been intimate, although there has been one time during that period.

    I am 6 years younger than him and I'll admit, I'm just about always horny. I know sex is not all part of the relationship and certainly wouldn't want it to be. However, lately I've been getting extremely frustrated and moody when I don't get any. I'm starting to blame myself and try to think of things that it could be like maybe he's not into me anymore...or that sex is too much of a process with him. Or maybe that he's self conscious, he's a little overweight & gets frustrated when he can't perform sometimes. I always remind him that I don't care and like him just the way he is.

    I'm just really mixed up and frustrated right now about it.
    Any advice you guys have would be greatly appreciated!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    He is just going through a mood wave...
    I mean, not everyone has sex all the time and maybe for him, he wants to take it a slower pace than you.

    He probably gets his sexual arousal out through doing chores... what I mean is that he is focusing his energy on mutliple activites to accomodate the feeling for arousal. This is usually a sign of a man that needs some space or alone time.

    If you want, you can have a seat with him over dinner or something and chat it up.
    Discuss your feelings towards him and your view on him in the past 4 weeks.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    msu4607 saidLately me and my boy friend have been distant when it comes to being intimate. We seem to do lots of things together like work out, go to the movies, go out to eat, hang out and even shower together. But when I imply intimacy he's been making up excuses. He has been working a lot --I'll give him that. However, he seems to make time and effort to do other things like house hold chores, helping out friends and things of that nature on his days off but when it comes to being intimate there's no effort. His excuses are like "I'm tired", "I have work early", "My stomach is upset", or "we'll do it later" and then he'll conveniently forget about it and then it will be too late in the night. It's been about 3 or 4 weeks since we've been intimate, although there has been one time during that period.

    I am 6 years younger than him and I'll admit, I'm just about always horny. I know sex is not all part of the relationship and certainly wouldn't want it to be. However, lately I've been getting extremely frustrated and moody when I don't get any. I'm starting to blame myself and try to think of things that it could be like maybe he's not into me anymore...or that sex is too much of a process with him. Or maybe that he's self conscious, he's a little overweight & gets frustrated when he can't perform sometimes. I always remind him that I don't care and like him just the way he is.

    I'm just really mixed up and frustrated right now about it.
    Any advice you guys have would be greatly appreciated!


    Is he 18?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2011 3:04 AM GMT
    msu4607 said
    _Mohammed_ saidHe is just going through a mood wave...
    I mean, not everyone has sex all the time and maybe for him, he wants to take it a slower pace than you.

    He probably gets his sexual arousal out through doing chores... what I mean is that he is focusing his energy on mutliple activites to accomodate the feeling for arousal. This is usually a sign of a man that needs some space or alone time.

    If you want, you can have a seat with him over dinner or something and chat it up.
    Discuss your feelings towards him and your view on him in the past 4 weeks.




    Mohammad, thanks for the reply!

    We've been dating about 9 months so far. I just feel like he makes time to do what he wants and obviously sex isn't one of them. He also has plenty of alone time. I don't live with him and haven't spent the night in a few weeks.


    Mohammed* and no problem icon_smile.gif

    Hmm, that is another setback... the fact that you two don't live together may allow for some actions that you may not want to happen.

    In other words (being as blunt as I can), he can be cheating on you with someone else.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    msu4607 said
    _Mohammed_ said
    msu4607 said
    _Mohammed_ saidHe is just going through a mood wave...
    I mean, not everyone has sex all the time and maybe for him, he wants to take it a slower pace than you.

    He probably gets his sexual arousal out through doing chores... what I mean is that he is focusing his energy on mutliple activites to accomodate the feeling for arousal. This is usually a sign of a man that needs some space or alone time.

    If you want, you can have a seat with him over dinner or something and chat it up.
    Discuss your feelings towards him and your view on him in the past 4 weeks.




    Mohammad, thanks for the reply!

    We've been dating about 9 months so far. I just feel like he makes time to do what he wants and obviously sex isn't one of them. He also has plenty of alone time. I don't live with him and haven't spent the night in a few weeks.


    Mohammed* and no problem icon_smile.gif

    Hmm, that is another setback... the fact that you two don't live together may allow for some actions that you may not want to happen.

    In other words (being as blunt as I can), he can be cheating on you with someone else.



    Mohammed*** ;) shukran,

    I highly doubt that he's cheating on me. I'm usually hanging out with him on his days off. Plus i work out at his place since he built a gym in his basement so I'd know if something was fishy


    el3fwan icon_smile.gif

    Ok then it is basically him needing some time off... that's about it.