How do you know...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2011 5:54 AM GMT
    that you're ready to be a parent? Kind of along the same line as forum topic "Having Kids" (

    My partner and I have discussed having kids and we seem to have slightly different views on timing. I'm ready to start the serious research and planning process, I'd like to have children sooner rather than later.Meaning within the next 2 years. And he believes that we need to be 100% financially stable and completely and utterly ready with no question about.

    So for those that have kids or planning to, How did/do you know when you're ready to start a family?
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Apr 08, 2011 10:11 AM GMT
    Here's the tic, you'll never actually know--emotionally. Sure, you can wait until this or until that, but emotionally, the world is thrown into chaos.

    I recommend doing it sooner than later, however. If you wait until certain conditions, especially nebulous ones, you'll never know how long you have to wait. "Financially stable" means what. Get numbers and dates.

    The fact is, we'll all be dead one day. You are supposed to achieve stuff in that short span of time. Best to get moving on that thing you call life!

    Good luck!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2011 8:14 PM GMT
    I agree with the bard... saying something like financially stable is just too unclear.

    Yes it is something that you should be able to manage financially and there should be some major planning in the process, after all its kind of a big thing... but you are never going to be 100% ready, you may get too a point where you think you are but from everything I've ever seen you are never ready for children.

    The two of you talking is good, but I would think you might want to find out more what he means by 'ready'! Its a partnership, you both have to be on the same page, so I can say you should do it now, but the reality is that I'm not on that committee, he is and that is something that you need to talk about.

    You're still in your 20s (no idea about him) but remember the same 'biological clock' isn't at work in this kind of situation. You don't want to be an old cripple by the time you start having kids, but you have plenty of time still.

    You will know its time when you both want kids and want to make that part of your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    I'm not a parent, nor am I planning one soon. There are some questions that you should ask yourselves.

    -What is your vision/philosophy as a parent?
    -How were you raised and what would you do differently?
    -What can you offer as a parent?
    -What positive visions do you have about being a parent?
    -What do you think could be difficult as parent?
    -How will a child change your life? And are you ready to adjust to these changes?
    -How much time will you be able to spend with your child?

    Good luck!
  • XxXxXxAZNxXxX...

    Posts: 615

    Apr 08, 2011 8:25 PM GMT
    I think it's great that you both have discussed the thought of having a child and that you have at least put the idea out there. You should try to let it simmer so that both of you can make an informed decision. I haven't had a kid ever, but I would hope that both me and my partner would need to be at 100 percent in order to decide whether or not to have one. There are enough stereotypes about gay parents with kids, I would hope that I wouldn't wat to be apart of that. icon_smile.gif
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Apr 08, 2011 11:06 PM GMT
    One doesn't really ever know when they are ready to be a parent until they are put into that situation. Granted there are some that we know shouldn't be parents. Yet, that doesn't stop them. But if we sit back and wait for that magickal moment to spring forth and let us know we would be goo parents, then it may just completely pass us by.