Hw long were you in the closet for? And how did you come out?

  • Aus92

    Posts: 328

    Apr 09, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    For me, 8 years in the closer now. Not really planning on coming out anytime soon...

    Interested to hear stories though icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 09, 2011 4:00 AM GMT
    "Bi" and confused for a good 3. Gay for 1 before I came out... and only came out because I found my first boyfriend and thought I was going to be in love with him for life.

    Yeah, I was naive, but I wouldn't take it back for the world. It showed me a lot of things about myself and my family that I'm glad I got to move on from.

    The closet wasn't ever really me. It was a shell of me that I had to grow out of. Like, "Hey... deny, deny... never really be me..." and then I was like, "Fuck it. This is who I am" and I decided to own up to it.

    (If we want to be technical though, I had a guess when I was really young I wasn't like my male classmates... so I'm thinking around 5 I really knew, but had no idea)
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Apr 09, 2011 5:26 AM GMT
    Didn't come out until I was almost 26. I had been working my way to it for several years prior, though. I'd been to the biggest gay bar in town by myself a couple of times but felt very out of place. I'd looked at issues of Christopher Street in my college library but again saw nothing I connected with.

    Finally, I guess I came to a transition period in my life. I had gone back to school for a second degree and most of my friends and connections from before had gone, so I wasn't losing anything by coming out. And I was just ready.

    I started going out alone. But it took a while to make new friends. In the straight world, I was used to going out at eight or nine... if you show up at a gay club at nine o'clock, there's no one there.
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    Apr 09, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    I knew i was gay at about 10 and i came out as bi at 17 i think but just only dated guys so everyone got the pictucer
  • hdurdinr

    Posts: 699

    Apr 09, 2011 9:01 AM GMT
    I knew I was gay aged around seven I suppose - well I knew not to say to anyone that I thought Arnold Schwarzenegger was hot! I came out to my family when I was 21 - it happened in a very messy way though. They seem fine with it but my family is very good at hiding certain things. Sometimes I feel they talk about me when I'm not there and aren't too thrilled that I'm gay, but they'd never let me know that.
  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Apr 09, 2011 9:20 AM GMT
    ugh, the self hate is a little sad, I hate to read these t ypes of things "not planning on coming out anytime soon" WTF? it's like 2011 and people are still ashamed to be who they are. Either way, good luck man. I've been out since I was 18 and never really had a problem with it, always have been pretty secure in my own skin and people see that and appreciate that and love you for that :-)
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    Apr 09, 2011 12:27 PM GMT
    coastguy90814 saidugh, the self hate is a little sad, I hate to read these t ypes of things "not planning on coming out anytime soon" WTF? it's like 2011 and people are still ashamed to be who they are. Either way, good luck man. I've been out since I was 18 and never really had a problem with it, always have been pretty secure in my own skin and people see that and appreciate that and love you for that :-)


    I am 22 and not out yet but also don't plan to be for a couple of years. I'm not ashamed of who I am, nor do I hate myself. While being gay is accepted more these days, certain careers and areas aren't all that welcoming and I've got enough going on that I just don't need the additional stress right now. When life settles down I certainly will.
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    Apr 09, 2011 12:30 PM GMT
    3 years 2005-2008 came out October 6th 2008 as bi in front of my Mama and brother
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    Apr 09, 2011 12:34 PM GMT
    I knew about my gayness somewhere around age 13, and came out at age 21...so, approximately 8 years closeted.
    Around age 26, I kinda ducked behind the closet door for a new job...more of a "DADT" situation just to get promoted to a position where I could go to college and change careers. Since then, I've been completely out and tell those who don't like it to go fuck themselves. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 09, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI knew about my gayness somewhere around age 13, and came out at age 21...so, approximately 8 years closeted.
    Around age 26, I kinda ducked behind the closet door for a new job...more of a "DADT" situation just to get promoted to a position where I could go to college and change careers. Since then, I've been completely out and tell those who don't like it to go fuck themselves. icon_wink.gif
    And now even Kevin wants to be "gay'!
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    Apr 09, 2011 12:48 PM GMT
    From the time I accepted myself for who I am to the time I came out to everyone else was about 3 years. My parents are older and I, too, thought, "I'm just never telling them; it'll be better for all of us."

    Ultimately, though, it bothered me more that I was keeping secrets and lies between us. It's not easy to forge a good relationship with your family if there is a huge aspect of your life you are trying to hide from them. And then in the course of one week in July 1998, I decided there was no other option BUT to tell them.

    It wasn't easy, but ultimately they appreciated it, and they love my partner as much as they love me. It's definitely made us closer, too.
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    Apr 09, 2011 12:53 PM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    paulflexes saidI knew about my gayness somewhere around age 13, and came out at age 21...so, approximately 8 years closeted.
    Around age 26, I kinda ducked behind the closet door for a new job...more of a "DADT" situation just to get promoted to a position where I could go to college and change careers. Since then, I've been completely out and tell those who don't like it to go fuck themselves. icon_wink.gif
    And now even Kevin wants to be "gay'!
    Tell him I said he's shit outta luck cause he's too old and fat to be gay.
    Yeah I know...I'll catch hell for that. icon_lol.gif
  • Goofeyman

    Posts: 199

    Apr 09, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    I fell out if the closet. 30 years. Due to the town I lived in I climbed back in. For another 15 years.
  • 001craig

    Posts: 1

    Apr 09, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    MNandWI said
    coastguy90814 saidugh, the self hate is a little sad, I hate to read these t ypes of things "not planning on coming out anytime soon" WTF? it's like 2011 and people are still ashamed to be who they are. Either way, good luck man. I've been out since I was 18 and never really had a problem with it, always have been pretty secure in my own skin and people see that and appreciate that and love you for that :-)


    I am 22 and not out yet but also don't plan to be for a couple of years. I'm not ashamed of who I am, nor do I hate myself. While being gay is accepted more these days, certain careers and areas aren't all that welcoming and I've got enough going on that I just don't need the additional stress right now. When life settles down I certainly will.


    i agree there is a lot off areas of the workforce that still have the problem with us and fuckem i say i still havent come out but i like it that way i get a lot of my hot st8 mates awake or asleep
    icon_twisted.gificon_evil.gificon_lol.gif
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    Apr 09, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
    I guess I understand not coming out until you're ready, but not coming out at all, or believing there is a time period better suited is just.... well dumb. If you wanna keep your head in the sand and watch life go by without you, so be it. Just don't be one of those guys who is a flamer or obviously gay and think no one knows. Those are the most creepy people ever. Especially the married ones. I guess what I'm saying is, people nowadays are more open minded and acceptig, also, they aren't as dumb as they think, I'm pretty sure a majority of your friends already suspect or know
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    Apr 09, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    TropicalMark said
    paulflexes saidI knew about my gayness somewhere around age 13, and came out at age 21...so, approximately 8 years closeted.
    Around age 26, I kinda ducked behind the closet door for a new job...more of a "DADT" situation just to get promoted to a position where I could go to college and change careers. Since then, I've been completely out and tell those who don't like it to go fuck themselves. icon_wink.gif
    And now even Kevin wants to be "gay'!
    Tell him I said he's shit outta luck cause he's too old and fat to be gay.
    Yeah I know...I'll catch hell for that. icon_lol.gif
    No ya wont.. he has a gay mechanic that wont be there when he calls.. he wont like that LOL
  • Sportbud

    Posts: 34

    Apr 09, 2011 3:18 PM GMT
    I'm lucky to say I never saw the inside of the closet.. I think at age 16 I took my first boyfriend home. While taking him upstairs to my bedroom I told my parents he was my boyfriend. The reply I got was: "That's fine dear, be happy and have fun." I never felt the urge to hide who I am..
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Apr 09, 2011 4:27 PM GMT
    In high school one of my football team mates spent the night...In the middle of the night I woke up and he was blowing me...We fucked around for about year and a half after...When we both were leaving for college...He informed me that he loved me...I freaked.....I continued to date women up to about two years ago...I informed my ex girl I was bi...She said it was ok with it...but within months...I realized I was gay....So BAM....that's the story....BUD
  • sevencloud

    Posts: 96

    Apr 09, 2011 5:10 PM GMT
    I've know I was gay as long as I could have thoughts. I came out as bi when i was 13 for like three months then just came out as gay to save myself the trouble.
  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Apr 09, 2011 5:14 PM GMT
    I think i finally realized i was gay when I was 16 or 17. When I say "realized" i mean "admitted to myself" that I was gay. I eventually came out to my brother first when I was 19 and then my parents a few weeks after that. Some of my friends already knew. I'm now 21, 22 this summer.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 09, 2011 5:16 PM GMT
    still am not really concerned with coming out
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    Apr 09, 2011 6:06 PM GMT
    in the closet till 2010....52 years......
    A weight was lifted from my chest the day I told a family member and another figured it out and the rest was sooooo great....
    Everyone from kids to ex-wife to friends were ad have been greatt and it turned out the only obstacle to my happiness was me!
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    Apr 09, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    I told my family... I was 32... waited too long. I needed to talk to them about my ex after I broke up.
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    Apr 09, 2011 6:36 PM GMT
    I've known since I was 5. I had a bad experience in the 6th grade that caused me to hide who I was. I eventually came to terms with it when I was 17. I told the people who mattered (my parents and closest friends) through out senior year and they all accepted it immediately. My extended family and most of my other "friends" don't know. I don't lie and say I'm straight to people any more, but I don't go around announcing I'm gay either. If someone asks or if I want to tell them, I do. So I guess you could say I'm out?
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    Apr 09, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    i came out at 15. paid a price for it. everyone's journey is different. no regrets