Anyway I was just looking at threads and it occured to me: Who the hell names their kid Zach Wiener? Did his parents go something like: Mom: I really hope the kids at school won't tease our baby with his last name when he grows up. Dad: Kids will tease each other with anything. Most of the time it doesn't even make any goddamn sense. But there is one thing we can do about the sausage last name. Mom: What? Dad: We can own it. As I see it there are two options. Mom: God help us. And they are? Dad: We could call him Richard. Dick Wiener. See? It's funny. Mom: Is it too late to dump you and have an abortion? What's the other option? Dad: Zach Wiener.