Old age an excuse for ignorance?

  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Apr 11, 2011 10:52 PM GMT
    I had a discussion with my mom the other day that we just could not agree on at all (which is unusual). We were discussing when my grandmother passed away in the mid 90s. A black family bought the house from us and we were treated badly by the nieghbors (all in their 70s and 80s) who said how dare we do such a thing. Our family is of course for eqaulity, and it is difficult to hear neighbors say such a thing.
    My mothers feeling is that older people are stuck in their ways and their beliefs should never be challenged and that they can not look down upon for them. I completely disagree and think we must show these mind sets are completely wrong. She also thinks we should be civil to those who openly make racist and homophobic jokes, I have no desire to have them in my life,
    So how do you guys feel? Any thoughts?
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    Apr 11, 2011 10:54 PM GMT
    I disagree wholeheartedly.


    When people are so stuck in their ways to not see that the world has changed an immense amount they become a waste to society. The exact example of what is truly wrong. Usually unhappy with themselves as a whole too. It's more sad to see than anything.
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    Apr 11, 2011 11:24 PM GMT
    When I was about 10, my middle brother 8, and youngest brother 7, we were aware that our parents were wanting to sell the house. A black couple with children that we knew from school, knocked on the door to see the house after seeing the ad in the paper. Our parents hod made a quick run to town for groceries, so my middle brother answered the door and showed the whole house with my youngest brother helping, I was in the back yard playing and didn't realise what was happening inside, until they came out back.

    We were all excited to tell mom and dad that we may have sold the house, so ran to meet them with our story, Our story didn't meet with anything but displeasure much to our unbiased innocent amazement and a paddling followed for my middle brother for letting the black family in.

    Just a few months ago this 50 year old event came up again and dad hadn't changed his mind yet !!! He's now 80 and talking about how discriminatory that was went nowhere, What I'm getting at, is that about the best a person can do is simply state how you personally feel about it, but don't expect to convince the old person of much of anything. Its not worth the arguement because they actually are "set in their ways". I make no excuse for it, it is wrong, but that in general seems to be the way it is, usually 'you cannot teach an old dog new tricks', if he was bigoted most his life, he'll more than likely die that way, if he was open minded most of his life he'll die open minded. it just seems to be a fact of life.

    I just don't think I'd bother with trying to change any of their opinions in your case, be friendly but beyond that, just write them off as far as changing their mindset goes. Trying to convince most of the very elderly of anything different than what they already believe is an exercise in futility in most cases.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Apr 12, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    My Gran changes with the times. She's like 94 and supports gay rights. When she was growing up she was told black people weren't descended from Adam and Eve and that's why it was okay to enslave them. Now in her latter years she knows how strange it all is. Society changes, why shouldn't we?
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    Apr 12, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    No, never.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Apr 12, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    It's not OK, but at the same time we are all a product of our generation. Some of us move on, some not so much. In my case it has manifested itself in having a hard time looking at what Lady Gaga produces being good music. That's minor, but with time I will likely slip further and further out of sync with the times. Some people, like my grandmother, sends me an apology for not send my partner and me a wedding gift. There hasn't yet been a wedding, much less anyone else sending us gifts.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Apr 12, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    well all I know is when I'm old I'm going to speak my mind like I do now and like it or not what the fuck are you going to do about it? and I'm sure I'll be a little more stubborn
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    Apr 12, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    TrevorMark saidI disagree wholeheartedly.


    When people are so stuck in their ways to not see that the world has changed an immense amount they become a waste to society. The exact example of what is truly wrong. Usually unhappy with themselves as a whole too. It's more sad to see than anything.
    +1
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1981

    Apr 12, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    One thing you could have told your neighbors is that it's illegal in all 50 states to discriminate on the basis of race in any real estate transaction. For example, if a black person makes a full-price offer on your house that's advertised as being for sale, you MUST sell it to him. There's no backing out, and no bullshit about "now that I see the color of your skin I've decided I'm not selling the house after all."

    If your racist neighbors have a problem with who your grandma sold her house to, tell them to try getting the law changed. (Good luck with that, lol icon_lol.gif )
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 12, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    Unfortunately many elderly people become inflexible and rigid in their thinking... I've seen it... very unfortunate.

    I wonder how the family that bought the place has been treated?

    I absolutely agree with your position, the problem is, the elderly may not want to open up to anything new.... but some might!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    my mom will be 86 in June and she's more open minded and enlightened than most people i know of any age.
    The only thing she doesn't give a shit about is using a computer but she was always technically challenged. lol

    i don't have more respect for an elder bigot than for a younger one .Morons will be morons.



  • needleninja

    Posts: 713

    Apr 12, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    people are all different. some want to keep learning and growing as they live, some do not.
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    Apr 12, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    You and I will never be able to see things from their point of view. The best you can do is gently offer your opinion on the issue and then leave them alone about it. The more you try and force your opinion on them, the more they will hold onto it.

    Another way to look at this is to see it from their point of view. It used to be when blacks moved into a neighborhood, crime frequently rose upon their arrival. Hence the old saying "there goes the neighborhood." Of course now a days, blacks have more opportunity and self esteem, so the playing field has equaled a lot. But they are old enough to remember when that wasn't the case, so be patient with them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    I say kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out.
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    Apr 12, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    5 years into my marriage , my wife decided to go back to Florida where she is from , and the first thing i noticed , was how the older Floridians were so stuck in their belief of racism ..Coming from Australia ,and raised by French parents , racism was new to me , and honestly i still don't understand it ...