Leading a guy on

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2011 6:04 AM GMT
    Not a big deal but thought it might be interesting to see what everyone thinks and what you've experienced

    I am very easy-going and frank. When I meet someone (online and/or in person) and I feel we may not be a match,I usually break it to them gently I hate to keep someone waiting or doubtful and not let them move on. Have turned guys down a couple of times and have had that done to me as well. Surprisingly, never been hurt when a guy tells me straight out that I'm not his type. We are all entitled to our tastes & fancies

    Unfortunately, I've also had cases when people are not straight with me EVEN when I tell them that they can be honest with me. Somehow I either am left guessing or I find out some other way that they've already moved on.

    I don't know which way is right. I normally just let it go and move on. But on one recent occasion when I got mixed signals, I did feel a little bad. When I am cool enough to give a person the freedom to be frank with me, why can't they be honest ?
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    Apr 12, 2011 12:28 PM GMT
    People are fickle. =( They don't know what they do or don't want. Not a cool response, but the original response didn't quite answer the question.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 12, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    People are full of shit. The faster u accept that, the better.
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    Apr 12, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    For the most part, it seems as though everything is going properly. What I mean to say is that as long as you aren't experiencing this with every man you come into contact with, then it is not something you need to change.

    Actually, it seems as though you are lucky to have a lot of people be straight-up with you about their interest towards you (Whether it be a yes or a no) as compared to other men I know (who have to guess at that question everytime).



  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 12, 2011 12:41 PM GMT
    Honesty is always better, but a mix of emotions yields bs many times.
    They might not want to create drama, negative drama.. he might be selfish and want to continue getting attention... so many things can enter into this.
    Kudos to you for being straightforward. Just know thats atypical behavior...
    unfortunately.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2011 1:02 PM GMT
    I try never ever to lead anyone on.

    People are fickle and flakey.
    Everyone insists on honesty - but for most it's just words
    Some people like to play - after all they've not really grown up have they?

    You have to figure out what works for you and stick to it.

    It may be a cliche, but I do endeavour to always live by the Golden Rule
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    I hate being lead on. I always tell people straight up that you're not my type and would expect vice versa. Also even if they are not my type I would feel that we can be better as friends.



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    Apr 12, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    Being led on BIG time and taken advantage of(cam showing, he promised to get a cam and stuff)Here; End up feeling so shitty and depressed(since i gave every last love to him and attention). I think i got over it, thing is..i learned that you are NOT supposed to rush and do as they say (if they are ur bf and u only known him for 1week). lol.. icon_sad.gif
  • Avron88

    Posts: 136

    Apr 12, 2011 2:02 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidI hate being lead on. I always tell people straight up that you're not my type and would expect vice versa. Also even if they are not my type I would feel that we can be better as friends.





    Yes, I hate guys who lead me on. Just tell me if you're not interested in me. Trust me, I'll move on and survive, you're not the most wonderful man in the universe, haha.

    But seriously, I'm not offended by people telling me that i'm not their type. But I do think it tells alot about the person if they say "you're not my type" and just walk away.

    Can't you still be friends with people if they're nice?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2011 2:07 PM GMT
    I'm not keen on generalizations. Some tend to bite the person uttering them.

    "People are flakey."
    "People are full of shit."
    "People are fickle."

    lol, if you look in a mirror you'll see you're also people. icon_wink.gif

    - Doug

    Important quantifier, the word 'some' before all of the above quotes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2011 2:08 PM GMT
    I am all about transparency and honesty. Life is too short to waste on mind games and guessing games.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2011 2:20 PM GMT
    "Can't you still be friends with people if they're nice? "

    I know - I make sure I say that before I meet anyone that there's always an option of being friends if we don't have a connection.