Need advice....friend says I'm being too "clingy" with texting a guy

  • ninethreer

    Posts: 4

    Apr 15, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    New to hooking up with guys and would REALLY appreciate some pointers:

    Last weekend I went out and met this awesome guy who I went home with....he was really my type, good personality, and we had fun in bed but nothing crazy (did not have sex).

    The next morning we woke up and hooked up again -- he brought me coffee and we watched one of his favorite shows together. I figured I should get going and started to gather my things and go...as he was letting me out he asked for my number, then called me so I had his, and gave me a kiss.

    I texted him a few hours later saying thanks for the hot night and that i'd be down to see him again if he was, and he responded that he would

    The next day I texted him casually (at night) about something funny that reminded me of him, and we texted for a bit -- then I asked what he was up to, and this he didn't respond to

    That was monday -- it's now thursday and I haven't heard from him

    My friend says not to text him, but I was hoping we could do something this weekend

    Would texting him tomorrow (Friday) be a bad idea? Would I come off as clingy, stalker-ish, or too available? What if he thinks I'm not interested?

    Thanks a lot guys
  • orgrind

    Posts: 20

    Apr 15, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    HELL YEAH! If you clicked like you make it sound - its been a few days. Why the hell not? Let us know how it goes too!!

    GO FOR IT!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    Use condoms always. If I were you, I wouldn't hook up. Mostly because I can't deal with the emotional baggage that will come with it.

    In your mind, if you can make it strictly fuck buddies/ friends with benefits for yourself, go for it (I can't personally)

    It sounds like he was just using you for sex and vice versa. Don't expect a relationship out of it. Trust me, I have been there, done that. It doesn't work out like that. If you don't believe me, go for it but don't say I didn't warn you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    Don't mind me. I'm just laughing at the faceless profiles chatting amongst themselves.
  • ninethreer

    Posts: 4

    Apr 15, 2011 4:45 AM GMT
    Doesn't really answer the question.....

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 5:01 AM GMT
    lol, it's not you guys; it's the pic Admin gives no-pic profiles. It feels like I'm seeing three store mannikins, undressed, speaking with each other.

    Of course text him. If he doesn't answer this time, you know it was all fluff.

    Then walk away.

    -Doug

    Three days without texting him is not clingy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 8:04 AM GMT
    just casually ask if hed want to do something, if no reply, just let it go icon_smile.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 15, 2011 8:40 AM GMT
    dude, hangout with your friends. if he has not contacted you back than so be it. he probably was not feeling you like you were feeling him. if i were you, i would wait until sunday to text him again. if he does not respond than it probably means he is no longer interested in you like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 10:18 AM GMT
    I had almost the same thing happen this weekend. But my guy was giving clearer signs of cooling off than yours is doing, so you should maybe try and text him again just to make absolutely sure.

    but it sure is frustrating, meeting someone who's just your type, and then they're not into you quite as much.


    ( I need a hug ) icon_cry.gif




    no really, I'm ok icon_cool.gificon_lol.gif

  • Zaakat

    Posts: 30

    Apr 15, 2011 10:31 AM GMT
    Keep in mind that you don't lose anyhing trying, If I were you I would make a clear, sincere statement, asking him directly, for example:

    Hey man, I had a great time last night and I think you are very cute, I would really appreciate if you could tell me what are your feelings toward this =)


    I don't know I've always been a very sincere person, and it saves me from lots of stress, I've done it and it is very relaxing to know the truth instead of trying to find out by making suppositions icon_smile.gif

    Good luck and may the best thing happens icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 10:32 AM GMT
    That first day or two after you really hit it off with someone, it's kind of important to let things cultivate. Don't smother it before it dies. Let it sit a bit and give him a chance to miss you.

    The only classy thing to do is wait for him to respond. Don't be needy. Be classy.

    And some people just don't like texting. I don't like being "constantly plugged in," especially with people I just met.

    Things are delicate early on, give it the space it needs to grow (or not).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 11:31 AM GMT
    You had a good time with this dude and clealry a good chemistry thing going on with him. Kudos. It's been three days now going on four since the last text you sent him. Ok. I wouldn't call you stalkerish if you texted him again but at the same time I wouldn't be standing around waiting for his answer after texting him four days ago.

    Go out and keep doing you. If he replies then you have your answer and if he doesn't then you have answer. Either way don't put your life on pause just for him especially if he can't reply to a text he got four days ago.
  • turbid2wenty

    Posts: 74

    Apr 15, 2011 6:47 PM GMT
    Hmm...going through this a bit myself. Texting is so impersonal, and I try to not read into it too much, but can't help it. I feel as though it's completely possible for a guy to continue texting you back for the sake of being polite, but without being 'interested.' I guess the only real way to know is to ask the question directly.
  • aaronkei

    Posts: 211

    Apr 15, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    Word it in a way you aren't desperate...Hey I just wanted to say what a wonderful time I had last weekend and wanted to know if you would like to do that again this weekend and if no that is fine. Just an example. Good luck let us know how it goes!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    All of these guys are right hit him up one last time to invite him out this weekend and if no response let it go.. A bit of advise tho it's never a good idea to sleep over/ "hookup" after the first date. It almost always ends up bad. To build a healthy relationship it takes time and nurturing. Take it slow and good luck ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 7:40 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidDon't mind me. I'm just laughing at the faceless profiles chatting amongst themselves.


    AAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAH
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 15, 2011 11:27 PM GMT
    judoguy saidI had almost the same thing happen this weekend. But my guy was giving clearer signs of cooling off than yours is doing, so you should maybe try and text him again just to make absolutely sure.

    but it sure is frustrating, meeting someone who's just your type, and then they're not into you quite as much.


    ( I need a hug ) icon_cry.gif




    no really, I'm ok icon_cool.gificon_lol.gif

    judo, i told you to move to the states then you will never have to worry about another guy ever again
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 11:33 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc said
    judoguy saidI had almost the same thing happen this weekend. But my guy was giving clearer signs of cooling off than yours is doing, so you should maybe try and text him again just to make absolutely sure.

    but it sure is frustrating, meeting someone who's just your type, and then they're not into you quite as much.


    ( I need a hug ) icon_cry.gif




    no really, I'm ok icon_cool.gificon_lol.gif

    judo, i told you to move to the states then you will never have to worry about another guy ever again



    omg you did not just say that. Did you just FLIRT young man?

    *takes out paddle*
  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Apr 16, 2011 12:06 AM GMT
    This one is a little hard but I would have to say that he's probably just not that into you. Nothing against you, I'm sure you're a great guy and he obviously liked your company but it sounds like for him, it was just a good time and perhaps he's really not looking for anything more. The words about getting together may have been just courtesy. I mean how do you really tell someone, nah, don't really want to go out again, in a nice way? I definitely would not text him. If he is in to you, he will text you. I know it's hard because you seem to like him but when two people are really in to each other, than the energy is there on both sides.