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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 11:01 AM GMT
    Hey all
    I'm here for some advices, as i've been now out for only a couple of months now. However, as nobody's gay in my close friends, i'd like to meet people with who i could share "gay stuff".
    I know the simpliest way is to go out in gay bars and start meeting new people, but this seems quite difficult for me as i'm quite shy.
    So here is my question : how did you guys usually meet gay people ? Where/how did u meet your best gay buddy ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2011 11:07 AM GMT
    You cannot physically meet someone if you are shy.
    You can meet people all over the internet, but in reality, if you ever want t omeet someone ANYWHERE, as in: street, clubs, bars, gym, malls, libraries, university lectures, restaurants, movies, etc... you CANNOT be SHY.

    So, the first step is to work on your openness and your comfort level with talking to other men.

    Once that is set, BAM! everywhere you go you will meet tons of gay people.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    Yeah, i konw i have to work on this stupid thing called shyness... This is really a pain in the ass for me.
    My question was more : how did you guy meet your first gay buddy ?
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 17, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    I found my friends (and boyfriends) in gay bars and sex clubs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    I've met gay guys at the gym, and I've met a few guys from this site in person. Don't think you're limited to bars/clubs. You should also look into local social/sports clubs.
  • alby

    Posts: 114

    Apr 17, 2011 3:15 AM GMT
    anywhere is a possibility just go out have fun be yourself! I met my friends online and the club and friends parties.....I met my best gay buddy where I used to work at...I worked at at&t before I changed careers to LEO. So I got his number ha since he said I was cute to his friend....and went from there....
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    Apr 17, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    Jack120 saidYeah, i konw i have to work on this stupid thing called shyness... This is really a pain in the ass for me.
    My question was more : how did you guy meet your first gay buddy ?


    all the places I mentioned is where I met gay men.
    how?
    1) If I see them checking me out (for whatever reason) I go up to them and ask them if they want to go out for a coffee.

    If they are straight they will usually "sorry man I am not gay" and they won't be surprised because they were the ones checking me out and they know that.

    If they are gay or non-homophobic straight men, BAM, they always say yes. BUT just because they said yes to the coffee + get to know each other more does not mean they are 100 % interested or gay... I have also met some straight non-homophobic friends through this method.

    This has worked for me 100 % of the time.

    you just have to not care what others think of you... but then gaain I am an exception to so many things ...
  • HEY333

    Posts: 1

    Apr 26, 2011 11:12 AM GMT
    Hello guys,

    I think it is very difficult to find someone in the real life, you cannot be sure that he is like you.

    Also guys, I have a big problem, I didn't manage to assum my difference. The main reason is that I'm muslim and it seems that is forbidden for us to have any relationship with a partner of the same sex. But I cannot, in the other hand, not to think about guys. So most of the time I feel very sad and I couldn't manage to look for guys for many years.

    Hope someone can help me. Thank's
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 11:21 AM GMT
    I tend to be shy as well and I actually met a good gay friend on Okcupid. I mean I will admit I think we both were interested in being more than friends when we first started talking but on the first date there was no spark at all however we were both on the same wave length and ended up being friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 11:22 AM GMT
    _Mohammed_ said
    Jack120 saidYeah, i konw i have to work on this stupid thing called shyness... This is really a pain in the ass for me.
    My question was more : how did you guy meet your first gay buddy ?


    all the places I mentioned is where I met gay men.
    how?
    1) If I see them checking me out (for whatever reason) I go up to them and ask them if they want to go out for a coffee.

    If they are straight they will usually "sorry man I am not gay" and they won't be surprised because they were the ones checking me out and they know that.

    If they are gay or non-homophobic straight men, BAM, they always say yes. BUT just because they said yes to the coffee + get to know each other more does not mean they are 100 % interested or gay... I have also met some straight non-homophobic friends through this method.

    This has worked for me 100 % of the time.

    you just have to not care what others think of you... but then gaain I am an exception to so many things ...


    I think the fact that you're a charming hottie might have something to do with your 100% success rate, Mohammed!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 11:29 AM GMT
    Most of my friends and gay friends I've meet in school. There are more gay men than you probably realize. Turns out a lot of my friends from elementary are actually gay, perhaps there was something in the water icon_razz.gif
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Apr 26, 2011 11:33 AM GMT
    I think as for you backpacking, you will soon learn to get over your fears of shyness because you will be interacting with all sorts of different people on a day to day basis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 11:24 PM GMT
    Don't be skuurd. Yea its just like making all new friends. The sad thing I have seen is it can be hard to make good gay friends that don't hold it against you if you don't sleep with them. Just take your time. There are some good ones out there but being a newer face, you are going to have to wade through the shit first.
  • KnuxNole

    Posts: 219

    Apr 27, 2011 12:57 AM GMT
    What's the best way to meet platonic friends as opposed to guys who think you're interested? Like, which places are better to meet friends, and which are better to meet dates? Since both are things I want to find, but don't want to mix the two. I find that in regular situations, gays only want to meet other gays for sex/dating...so if that's true, who are gays supposed to be friends with? lol