I lose my erection when I am penetrated.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 4:37 PM GMT
    Hi guys,

    I have a psychological problem with being penetrated.

    When I was young, I used to think I must be a bottom because I was totally engrossed with the idea of another man's dick in me.

    After a few formative years of being gay, I realised that I actually don't like the feeling of it.

    Meaning, I think, personally, that I don't FEEL anything apart from pain and discomfort when I get penetrated. I only get excited by the idea that another man is penetrating me, and that's what makes me allow that to continue. Just that objectively speaking, I don't and have never felt that obscure pleasure of the prostrate. I like my ass being licked, but that's a tinkling sensation that is not a full sexual sensation like what the penis has.

    Because it is just excitement by the thought of being penetrated that kept me going, I am now jaded and have gone beyond that excitement. So there is nothing else to keep me excited while being penetrated, and as a result, I lose my erection every time my husband penetrates me.

    I would love to be a pleasured bottom for him but I really don't feel anything from being a bottom. And it is quite uncomfortable too.

    What should I do? What keeps you bottoms being bottoms?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 5:00 PM GMT
    I am not sure that is a psychological problem necessarily. You could be similar to me, someone who finds it kind of painful. I have tried relaxing but it does not seem to work. Fortunately I still really enjoy sex so I don't feel I am missing anything.

    Oddly enough, if a porn video does not have anal intercourse I feel it is lacking something!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 7:48 PM GMT
    To be honest i find bottoming both painful and boring, I don't enjoy it at all. I much prefer penetrating a guy and being the one in control.
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    Apr 02, 2008 8:02 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidI much prefer penetrating a guy and being the one in control.


    Call me. LOL!
    p.s.
    Titanite - I will edit this with my 2 cents as the subject is close to my heart, erm, prostate. Just need to get some sleep now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 8:06 PM GMT
    For my two cents worth I think you are thinking about it too much. Relax, take it easy, you know you want it.
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    Apr 02, 2008 9:18 PM GMT
    oh ffs stop whining about it and take it as a man! you fucked other people's asses in the past so now your ass must pay, it's karma. if you want to keep your erection get a man to fuck while your husband is fucking you.icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 02, 2008 9:21 PM GMT
    i enjoy being penetrated but i still loose my erection while being penetrated...
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    Apr 03, 2008 6:18 AM GMT
    As promised. First of all, this is not a psychological problem per se.
    So your final question is what's keeping a bottom being one. Foremost, always think of your lovemaking as the "first time" you're doing it with your boyfriend. Personally, I prefer a well-lit environment, preferably morning and afternoon daylight!!! In your erection, focus on your partner's eyes and his facial expressions. Hold each other's hands... the manly grasping is soooo hot!!! Internalize the pleasure you are giving him in this most intimate act of bonding.
    Think of your young self being gifted the fulfillment of being engrossed with the idea of another man's dick in you. "Do you feel it babe?" Think of the actual 'surrender' to the man who loves you. Fuck, I'm getting hard typing this! LOL
    THIS IS A MAN. YOUR MAN. INSIDE YOU. THINK OF NOT LETTING GO. Next stage: THINK OF WANTING MORE: HIS FLESH INSIDE YOU.

    If this don't work then practice with porn, cucumber, condom and lube in your 'alone' moments. Or let him watch. Whatever floats your boat.

    Oh, this was exhaustingicon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2008 8:57 AM GMT
    Zimitar, I don't know if you know this but you are kindda a fag..icon_wink.gif But you are one kick ass fag!!!icon_lol.gif
    Like Zimitar said, It's about reaching that vital g-spot for men, called the prostate.
    On loosing the erection: I sometimes loose it while being penetrated and sometimes I don't.
    According to Wikipedia there are some pressure points in the anus that might cause this.
    I realy enjoy being penetrated and have had several different experiences regarding orgasms while being flacid and being hard. A flacid orgasm is usualy dry but it feels exhilerating from the inside. And is just as pleasing.
    When I want to stay hard however I ask my boyfriend to play with my cock while he pounds me from behind. It usualy works but sometimes I just become flacid anyway.
    I would'nt worry about it.icon_razz.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 03, 2008 10:52 AM GMT
    I don't think it's uncommon to lose your erection a bit when penetrated. The question you have to ask yourself is do you really want to enjoy bottoming. If you do, then talk to your man and let him know you aren't really getting pleasure from it. Ask him to help you experiment with ways of stimulating you anally to help find something that feels good. Maybe try getting fingered while he's blowing you.
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    Apr 03, 2008 11:00 AM GMT
    MrVenturu saidZimitar, I don't know if you know this but you are kindda a fag..icon_wink.gif But you are one kick ass fag!!!icon_lol.gif

    hahahahahahah DANKE Mr. Venturujkie!!! Hoe gaan dit met jous!? Ironic 'cos my serious relationships in the last 7 years were South Africans, actuallyicon_razz.gif I meanicon_mad.gif
    Anyway, I forget to add... make sure you reassure your partner not to mind when you get soft whilst being penetrated... it's not him. Sometimes the trick is to lie on your tummy (pillowbite position lol) and let him slide through you... whilst nibbling your nape and ears... the heavy breathing here is a +++
    When I am fuct by a hung guy, I make sure I have poppers with me for my arse to gain complete morale support from my entire nervous system... oh man, that's what I always tease the boys with:
    "I may be the bottom, but I am the one in control!"
    Oh how they love it!!!!!!!!!!
    p.s.
    It helps to sweat as well.
    [url][/url]
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2008 5:24 PM GMT
    I tend to lose my erection when being on the bottom as well. I think it has to do with taking your focus from your dick, and focusing on your ass which is receiving all the attention.

    Sometimes I stay hard though, sometimes not. Also depends on the time of day, amount of foreplay, etc. Add to that that it sometimes takes time for my prostate to get in the game, and it can be "weird" at first but usually gets better for me.
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    Apr 03, 2008 8:37 PM GMT
    zimatar saidAs promised. First of all, this is not a psychological problem per se.
    So your final question is what's keeping a bottom being one. Foremost, always think of your lovemaking as the "first time" you're doing it with your boyfriend. Personally, I prefer a well-lit environment, preferably morning and afternoon daylight!!! In your erection, focus on your partner's eyes and his facial expressions. Hold each other's hands... the manly grasping is soooo hot!!! Internalize the pleasure you are giving him in this most intimate act of bonding.
    Think of your young self being gifted the fulfillment of being engrossed with the idea of another man's dick in you. "Do you feel it babe?" Think of the actual 'surrender' to the man who loves you. Fuck, I'm getting hard typing this! LOL
    THIS IS A MAN. YOUR MAN. INSIDE YOU. THINK OF NOT LETTING GO. Next stage: THINK OF WANTING MORE: HIS FLESH INSIDE YOU.

    If this don't work then practice with porn, cucumber, condom and lube in your 'alone' moments. Or let him watch. Whatever floats your boat.

    Oh, this was exhaustingicon_wink.gif


    Thanks guys, especially Zimatar for the elaborate description! icon_smile.gif))

    Well, my point is that anal sex doesn't give me physical pleasure, otherwise I won't have to psyche myself into thinking it is.

    What is a prostrate orgasm and how can I achieve it? I've tried digging my asshole in everyway possible but I don't feel a thing (apart from discomfort).

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 04, 2008 9:16 AM GMT
    Aah zimitar, That video was probably the cutest thing anyone ever posted. The dick roler coaster was freaking funny. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2008 9:02 PM GMT
    The only way that makes me keep an erection and have a prostate orgasm is if i play with my cock while being penetrated and also u just have to find the right spot. For me is when i sit on my dildo. I just have to feel it go straight up.
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    Apr 07, 2008 12:27 AM GMT
    I lose my erection when the cock slides into me too but I still get those deep orgasms that just leak cum out all over the sheets, or my lover's belly. I prefer those orgasms.
  • magicmen87

    Posts: 2

    Apr 07, 2008 2:32 AM GMT
    The reason is simpler than you think people lose there erection alot when penetrated due to a reaction in the brain. When most people are penetrated they feel a certain pain like most of you have including myself. well when the body feels pain it sends a signal to the brain to raise its defences which include one of hte most obviouse the closing of your sides where your being penatrated usually in a small way but the reason you lose your erection is when the bodys in pain that blood that was pushed to the penis retracts from the penis and starts normal blood flow thru the body. This happens because if hte pain the body was feeling was a cut or not it dosnt know it has to regulate blood flow just in case.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2008 6:02 PM GMT
    or here's a simpler solution:

    maybe you just don't like getting fucked?
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    Apr 09, 2008 11:40 AM GMT
    What the hell is wrong with you guys? You call yourself fags!

    I NEVER lose my erection while getting penetrated.
    I get harder.
    I get more excited..
    I get ready to blow...

    It's anything but boring.
    Apparently many of you aren't doing it right...

    For lessson please email me at............

    [CONNECTION ENDED]

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2008 12:03 PM GMT
    No bru, there really is a medical reason for loosing your erection. As I said, somtimes I loose it but then it comes back again. But mostly it stays hard as a rock.
    The pudendal nerve runs alongside the anal canal and can cause various dificulties including a certain degree of erectile disfunction. If the pudendal nerve gets entraped it can cause more permanent problems. But can also be treated relatively easily.
    I'm not saying this is the reason but I asked my GP and she also agrees that it could be one of several other reasons.
    Sometimes I think I just have to much sex and then I get tired so I loose my erection.icon_rolleyes.gif
    Maybe try taking a nap before sex... lolicon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2008 5:08 AM GMT
    MrVenturu said
    Maybe try taking a nap before sex... lolicon_cool.gif


    haha i love it when my bf wakes me up already started ;)
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    Apr 17, 2008 9:44 AM GMT
    Alec_Brandon saidWhat the hell is wrong with you guys? You call yourself fags!
    I NEVER lose my erection while getting penetrated.
    I get harder.
    I get more excited..
    I get ready to blow...
    It's anything but boring.
    Apparently many of you aren't doing it right...

    THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!!
    p.s.
    Nothing beats morning/daytime (after siesta) sex... now where's that bodyspray? hahahahahahah!
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/163497/
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Apr 19, 2008 6:38 PM GMT
    I'm gonna have to go with what DancerJack said. Maybe you just don't like it?
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    Apr 21, 2008 4:30 AM GMT
    OK, have read through most of the posts and heard most of what I was gonna say so I will just add a breif additive. I used to have a problem staying hard and enjoying anal sex. Part of my problem was simply the fact that the sphincter is a muscle, and like all muscles if not stretched regularly gets tight. I have found that using even mild ass play such as fingering or toys, when you are in complete control and there is far less pain, allows me to more fully enjoy anal sex. Also this is a great way to learn angles or variations that might give you pleasure. Another thought, is try taking control of the penetration, especialy at the begining when the pain is the worst. I personaly much prefer to start riding so I am in control and can adjust angles etc a lot easier. Good Luck Bud.
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    Apr 21, 2008 4:53 AM GMT
    To start off I have never bottomed. I would like to I think it would be hot. As far as not staying hard durning it.
    Now I don't want to offened anyone but...
    Any top worth his salt will know where that spot is and hit it every fucking time.
    Because to only concern one's self with only getting him self off is not fucking cool.
    To help you understand how to get him to hit it.
    And how to make it more mind blowing for you.
    1. Get a small dildo. I do mean small not something that will make you scream because it's so damm fat.
    One that is skinny.
    2. lay on your back, lube it up.
    3. Don't force it in, work it in, Push out like you are taking a dump. As it slides inside you.
    4. Only take in a few inches at a time, and move it around. Do a complete circle, the slide it in further.
    5.Every inch or so moving it.
    6. Soon you will hit a spot that your cock will fucking jump.
    7. This might scare you the first time, but slowy work that spot with the dildo.
    8. Don't touch your cock, no matter how hot this fuckig gets you just by touching that spot in your ass.
    9. Use your touching, rubbing of the dildo to make you feel it...
    10. Once you feel it you will know, and it will not take long and you will cum like never before.
    11. Now that next time you and your husband are together, if he does not hit it while he is in control. Take control and get his cock to rub that spot and tell him that is the spot he needs to fucking hit to send you to the fucking moon..
    12. After a while he will only need to start to enter you and your fucking cock will get rock hard knowing what is coming..

    If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me.


    Titanite saidHi guys,

    I have a psychological problem with being penetrated.

    When I was young, I used to think I must be a bottom because I was totally engrossed with the idea of another man's dick in me.

    After a few formative years of being gay, I realised that I actually don't like the feeling of it.

    Meaning, I think, personally, that I don't FEEL anything apart from pain and discomfort when I get penetrated. I only get excited by the idea that another man is penetrating me, and that's what makes me allow that to continue. Just that objectively speaking, I don't and have never felt that obscure pleasure of the prostrate. I like my ass being licked, but that's a tinkling sensation that is not a full sexual sensation like what the penis has.

    Because it is just excitement by the thought of being penetrated that kept me going, I am now jaded and have gone beyond that excitement. So there is nothing else to keep me excited while being penetrated, and as a result, I lose my erection every time my husband penetrates me.

    I would love to be a pleasured bottom for him but I really don't feel anything from being a bottom. And it is quite uncomfortable too.

    What should I do? What keeps you bottoms being bottoms?